Karla's Reviews > Motorcycle Man

Motorcycle Man by Kristen Ashley
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OK, so I only read the prologue and first chapter before the writing gave my brain a cramp and I had to pull stakes and move on, but I could already see the characters so clearly.

The very ripped Tack:


The bashful Tyra, aka "Red":
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Reading Progress

09/29/2013 marked as: bad-carbon-units-are-bad
09/29/2013 marked as: read-sample-do-not-want

Comments (showing 1-38 of 38) (38 new)

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message 1: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Wow, what a pair of romantic leads! Scarlett & Rhett had better watch out.


message 2: by Hayes (last edited Jun 16, 2012 12:25PM) (new)

Hayes O... M... G... what's he done to his thighs?

(and the rest of himself too.. but the thighs!)


Richard Reviles Censorship Always in All Ways urk

bllluuuuurrrrrrrgh

*ptoo*ptoo*


message 4: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Walton Grant That guy looks like when Sylvester gets the air hose inside his deep sea suit on Looney Tunes.

And I'm sorry, but that's usually what waitresses in biker bars REALLY look like.


message 5: by Willow (new)

Willow Eeeewwww This is the Dream Man series? LOLOL


message 6: by Willow (new)

Willow I was looking at the other reviews. Do you ever get suspicious when pretty much every review has five stars?


message 7: by Karla (last edited Jun 16, 2012 05:48PM) (new) - added it

Karla Willowfaerie wrote: "Do you ever get suspicious when pretty much every review has five stars?"

ALL. THE. TIME.

From what I've been able to tell from the little I've read here and there, her hero recipe is: take the biggest dickwad dbag Harlequin Presents hero, give him a cowboy hat or tats, and then have him say "babe" and "fuck" in every sentence for 400-550 pages.

It's quite beautiful, really.

But the writing...

There was a line of bikes, five of them parked in front of the compound, which was a long, rectangular building to the side of the forecourt separating the garage from the auto supply store. There was a beat up pickup truck parked behind the auto supply store.

Thank you. Auto supply store. Got it the first time.

I took my purse off my shoulder, dug my cell out, flipped it open, slid my purse straps back over my shoulder and texted Lanie.

I'm so glad I had every motion spelled out. If I'd been left to wonder if she left her purse dangling from her wrist, the scene would have been totally ruined.

Nails on a chalkboard. She makes Johanna Lindsey look like Margaret Mitchell.


message 8: by Karla (last edited Jun 17, 2012 08:09AM) (new) - added it

Karla Tammy wrote: "And I'm sorry, but that's usually what waitresses in biker bars REALLY look like."

My cousin is married to a woman who looks like she'd be at home swinging a broken bottle in a fight at a roadhouse with her Harley parked outside. (ETA: She had a feathered mullet for years, too.) No delicate sexy flower she. So I know what you mean. :D


message 9: by Sarah (new)

Sarah What the...seriously? THAT writing is what everyone keeps obsessing over with all these 5-star ratings??

What. The. Hell.


message 10: by Karla (last edited Jun 16, 2012 06:33PM) (new) - added it

Karla I know! I mean, arrrgh! No words for how bland and repetitive it is. So much like 50 Shades in its ignorant mediocrity it's not funny.

This is the future of romance novels. Woe is us.

“We forget it happened?” he asked, looking even angrier.
“Uh… yeah,” I answered.
“The rule’s broken, babe, no unbreaking it,” he returned.
“It’s not broken,” I told him.
“Red, it’s broken.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t,” I stated and he opened his mouth to speak again, his face hard, his eyes flashing and I quickly went on to explain my reasoning.


What is this? Argument Clinic?


message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Oh gawd, another writer whose 'witty dialogue & battle of the sexes has shunned the simple elegance of 'said.' Kill me now. >___<


message 12: by Willow (last edited Jun 16, 2012 09:16PM) (new)

Willow “We forget it happened?” he asked, looking even angrier.
“Uh… yeah,” I answered.
“The rule’s broken, babe, no unbreaking it,” he returned.
“It’s not broken,” I told him.
“Red, it’s broken.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t,” I stated and he opened his mouth to speak again, his face hard, his eyes flashing and I quickly went on to explain my reasoning.

Huh? What does she need to explain? LOLOL

I actually can't stand it when guys use the term 'babe.' Of course, my dislike is personal. I knew someone who did that all the time, whom I couldn't stand.

"Hi, babe."

"Why don't you come sit on the couch next to me, babe."

"Will you get me a beer while you're up, babe?"

"Let's go have sex in the hammock, babe."



message 13: by Tammy (last edited Jun 16, 2012 08:58PM) (new)

Tammy Walton Grant She makes Johanna Lindsey look like Margaret Mitchell.

LMFAO!!!! OMG you're funny.

her hero recipe is: take the biggest dickwad dbag Harlequin Presents hero, give him a cowboy hat or tats, and then have him say "babe" and "fuck" in every sentence for 400-550 pages.

I think you're pretty close with that description - instead of sheiks and Spaniards, they're small town manly men and bikers. Same muy machismo. :)

eta: love the shelf name!


message 14: by Erin (new) - rated it 3 stars

Erin Muses Just have to step in here: it's too bad that the writing is suspect because she tells a good story. Unfortunately you have to wade through the editing mistakes, missing transition words, incomplete sentences, and homophone misuse (to mention just a few things) to get there.


message 15: by Willow (new)

Willow Oh how funny! I just noticed your shelf name. ROFL!


message 16: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Willowfaerie wrote: "Huh? LOLOL

You know, I hate guys who call you 'babe.'"


Amen to that. "Baby" I can handle, but "babe" is so casually over-macho. Gag.


message 17: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Walton Grant "Baby" I can handle, but "babe" is so casually over-macho

Really? Baby always so sounds so disco to me, unless they're kidding around.

I don't mind babe in very small doses.


message 18: by Sanya (last edited Jun 17, 2012 04:37AM) (new)

Sanya LOL! I hope those muscles are fake!!!
I don't want to read her books, I started Sweet Dreams and then left it. I often hate 5 stars books, lately...


message 19: by Karla (last edited Jun 17, 2012 08:27AM) (new) - added it

Karla @ Tammy: my shelf name is an homage to your "snarky troll" shelf. :D

Yesterday a bunch of guys were in our field haying and they're all small-town guys with high school degrees, are farmers or self-employed doing outdoor work, and I didn't hear one dirty word while they were joking around stacking hay. Kristen Ashley would be soooooo disappointed in this slice of real life. :P

@ Erin: The author has to have basic competence in English for me to enjoy their story. Though, going by some reviews, the stories seem pretty repetitive anyway. But the writing...does she even re-read it? Even once? The stuff I quoted in Message #8 is simple stuff the author should take care of. Let alone what an editor would find with their red pen. Dinjolina's gotten slammed for saying it, but she's right. KA is illiterate literacy-challenged.

@ Willow & Sarah: "baby" vs. "babe" Both make me think of glitter balls and strobe lighting.

@ Sanya: With all the 5 stars, I have high expectations. But I'm getting the feeling that the ratings are more like "you get an award for finishing and if you ignore the bad stuff it's fantastic!" kind of 5 stars than an actual indication of it being a polished, awesome kind of lit.

When I'm not feeling oppressed by my TBR and have reached a State of Clear I might try to actually read an entire book for the lulz. :D


message 20: by Kerrie (new)

Kerrie I haven't delved into the Kristen Ashley reviews in depth, but it seems her books are getting 5 stars for the potential of the story - despite the poor editing, pedantic writing, slapdash everything. What it boils down to is - "5 stars! If it wasn't shit, it would be gold!" In which case, every book would qualify! Kudos for these readers for being able to put the blinders on and ignore 99% of what makes up a novel, but I need more than "OMGTackissoHAWT" to make it a 5-star read. As strong as my Steve Morgan fangirling is, it wasn't the only reason I loved Dark Fires. :D


message 21: by Karla (last edited Jun 17, 2012 08:28AM) (new) - added it

Karla Kerrie wrote: ""5 stars! If it wasn't shit, it would be gold!""

LMAO! Yes, that does seem to be the reviewing criteria for some. :D That reviewing style is utterly worthless. The sotto voce admissions that the writing is a bit rough is like saying the Rockies are a bit of a climb.

I was thinking of Rosemary when I read this, too. No matter how spastic the pacing, how crazy the plot, at least Rosemary can form sentences and paragraphs that you don't have to skim to save your brain.


LuvGirl LOl! You guys are killing me!


message 23: by Karla (new) - added it

Karla Heh. I'm hurting (physically), so I lash out as a release. :D Yet that probably makes me a bitchy asshole instead of a gorgeous bad boy.

If I only had a penis, I'd have the women all over me.


message 24: by ♡Karlyn P♡ (new)

♡Karlyn P♡ Ha ha ha!!! Thanks for the great laugh !!!! Hilarious photos.


message 25: by ♡Karlyn P♡ (last edited Jun 17, 2012 04:04PM) (new)

♡Karlyn P♡ Kerrie wrote: "I haven't delved into the Kristen Ashley reviews in depth, but it seems her books are getting 5 stars for the potential of the story - despite the poor editing, pedantic writing, slapdash everythin..."

Blows me away too. I swear if I read one more "yes, the writing was terrible, BUT the hero is sooooooo hot and I am not a grammar snob, so 6-stars!!!!" I'm going to scream. Bad writing is now 5-stars worthy? I have more respect for those who simply don't see the errors than those who sees them yet excuses them away as irrelevant. It is so sad!


message 26: by Karla (last edited Jun 18, 2012 04:08AM) (new) - added it

Karla ♡KarLynP♡ wrote: "Ha ha ha!!! Thanks for the great laugh !!!! Hilarious photos."

I had fun finding them :D (Although typing "fat old man" and "ugly old woman" into Google Images with the SafeSearch off turns up 90% porn. O__o My monitor was wall-to-wall every age combination, color, body shape, and sexual position imaginable.)

The review trend of "Here's who I fapped to when I read this" annoys me (with all the same vapid-looking, predictably over-ripped mancandy), so I decided to put my own twist on it. :D

I also don't get the "hero is hawt so book be awesome!" school of thought. There are some cracks in that theory.


LuvGirl Omg, you should have seen what popped up once when I typed in handsome blond man for a romance pic. It was a full on video. NEVER DID IT AGAIN! I just pirate pics from my friends now, lol.


message 28: by Karla (new) - added it

Karla It was so bizarre. I got a few relevant pictures, but then there were tons of pics of Barely Legal stuff with dad nailing the babysitter. *shudder* WTF....


message 29: by Tammy (last edited Jun 18, 2012 06:23PM) (new)

Tammy Walton Grant my shelf name is an homage to your "snarky troll" shelf. :D

Excellent! I'm hoping this shelf will soon be hugely populated. (Because I'm an asshole too, and live vicariously through you)

Yesterday a bunch of guys were in our field haying and they're all small-town guys with high school

Any of 'em easy on the eye?

If it wasn't shit, it would be gold!"

LMAO! I must confess I fall into this camp with a few of KA's books. :)


message 30: by LuvGirl (last edited Jun 19, 2012 04:05AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

LuvGirl "LMAO! I must confess I fall into this camp with a few of KA's books." :)

I'm Guilty also! I wanted to give her 5 stars for Knight so badly, but I knew it was the wrong thing to do. Lol!


message 31: by Karla (new) - added it

Karla Tammy wrote: "Excellent! I'm hoping this shelf will soon be hugely populated. (Because I'm an asshole too, and live vicariously through you)"

Since I have nothing to lose (not being exactly "in" the Romance Community), you can expect me reading shit for the lulz. It's who I am. :P

Tammy wrote: "Any of 'em easy on the eye?"
One of them helped moved an ancient huge-ass tube TV from my room, down the stairs, and outside to the shed. He'd probably have been tripping over your tongue if you were there. ;D So yes, he's a sturdy and rugged guy. Very nice, good manners and super-helpful. (And he gave us 30 bales of hay last year AND a gallon of maple syrup in payment for the old hay wagon we gave him, so....maple syrup! Anyone who uses that for barter is a prince. LOL)


message 32: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Walton Grant You should have tripped him then beat him to the floor. (ba dum CHAH!) An oldie but a goodie, lol. I got TONS more where this one came from.

And I love who you are: don't ever change. ;P


message 33: by Willow (new)

Willow Oh wow, he had me at maple syrup. *sigh*


message 34: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Walton Grant Willowfaerie wrote: "Oh wow, he had me at maple syrup. *sigh*"

Yeah, that would be enough for me to be offering to 'take it out in trade', lol.


message 35: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston Speechless with horror and admiration.


message 36: by Jen (new) - rated it 1 star

Jen Holy SHIT. I just found this and am crying tears of laughter. That is EXACTLY what they look like! There's a scene in the book where "Red" dresses up like a clown (read: puts on a shit ton of makeup and teases her hair out to "there") and Tack drags her off to his cave because he just can't resist her. BELLY LAUGHS.


message 37: by Karla (last edited Oct 25, 2012 02:54AM) (new) - added it

Karla Your comment made my day, and it's not even 6am. :D

I love your profile: I'm a skeptic who reads mostly romance novels. I know, I don't understand it either.

LOL Same way here.


message 38: by Jen (new) - rated it 1 star

Jen Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Your comment made my day, and it's not even 6am. :D

I love your profile: I'm a skeptic who reads mostly romance novels. I know, I don't understand it either.

LOL Same way here."


Dude. Your review made my day. Seriously, I was crying. :P


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