Stefani's Reviews > Journey to Virginland: Epistle 1

Journey to Virginland by Armen Melikian
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I keep seeing this on the giveaways page, then I started reading some reviews to see if other people find this author as irritating as I do. And they do! A few times the author has even responded to these criticisms with some of the same gibberish crap I assume is in this book.

First, I despise authors who want to make their book seem like something only the elite and truly intelligent could possibly understand. The rest of us are just the stupid little people who really don't matter anyway, throw in a derisive chuckle, a smoking jacket and a pipe and it completes the picture of this kind of narcissist. Thank you very much but I am intelligent and no I don't need to read your book to prove it!

Second, the new giveaway descriptions lists reasons not to read the book. So let's look at those now....

"The author caricatures the Holy of Holies of all religions. Jerusalem is Penisalem."

Right away I notice this is not a reason to not read the book, its a statement of fact about the book's content. I think the author might have knocked his own intelligence down a few notches on this one. I also feel like this needs a punchline after it. Jerusalem...or, Penisalem, get it?! Penis-alem! Then the joke teller starts laughing hysterically while everyone else chuckles uncomfortably while the joke teller makes himself look like a fool.

"The author caricatures the holy of holies of the ideology and the prime representatives of the American empire. The USA is Satanland or United Tribes of Amerhenna."

Again, not a reason to not read the book merely a statement of fact. And how original, Satanland! I have never heard that before! Wait..isn't that what most Arab countries call the USA? No wait, that's the "Great Satan", close though.

"The book is experimental literature. Inverts on its head the conventions of the novel. It is Dog Lit, written by a dog who disbelieves in the opium of conventional literature."

Are there any actual reasons to not read the book in this thing? Or merely a list of facts about what the book says? I also am highly jealous that the dog in the book keeps finding opium in his literature. I need to start shopping there. And yes, I am being facetious. Look, I can use big words too! Me smart, like author with his pipe and spectacles!

"This book is for "anarchists," "atheists," "terrorists," "criminals," "satanists," "moslems," "subverters," "communists," "drug dealers," "the homeless," "the stateless," "the gypsies," "the thieves," "the blacks," "traitors," "whores," "fascists," "conspirators," "co-conspirators," "co-coconspirators," and... "real Americans."

I thought this was a list of reasons to NOT read the book, not a list of people who should. Also, I think its spelled Muslim, not moslem. And according to Rush Limbaugh there are many whores in the world, so ladies have at it!

"Therefore, it might be desirable to read excerpts on author's website BEFORE entering into something that might prove to be after all a waste of precious investment time. "

Thank you, but I already knew from the giveaway description that I would spend my time better by going outside and sucking on a rock whilst staring at the sun.
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Reading Progress

09/21/2013 marked as: not-even-if-you-paid-me

Comments (showing 1-16 of 16) (16 new)

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message 1: by Esther (new)

Esther Cotton Moslem is another correct spelling. I think only in America do we spell it with a "u" instead of an "o".

I agree with you -- this author is kind of annoying! I keep seeing their book on a giveaway list with such odd descriptions.

I kind of want to equate this sort of elitist attempt at brainwashing to the likes of L. Ron Hubbard. But honestly? L. Hubbard knew how to write! This guy? Doesn't seem likely. But then, I'll never know, because I won't be buying (or winning, for that matter) his book. :\ Well, maybe by accident.


message 2: by Laura (new)

Laura HA HA! You crack me up. I would never even glance twice at this book, so I guess according to the author, I must be more than unintelligent. I must be a down right idiot!


Stefani Esther wrote: "Moslem is another correct spelling. I think only in America do we spell it with a "u" instead of an "o".

I agree with you -- this author is kind of annoying! I keep seeing their book on a giveaway..."


That's interesting, I wasn't aware of another spelling for it. I guess that just goes to prove how completely unintelligent I am ;)

And don't worry, you don't have to buy it, just read the comment with 141 comments and the author has posted LOOOOOONG sections of it, so you probably could read most of it that way!


Stefani Laura wrote: "HA HA! You crack me up. I would never even glance twice at this book, so I guess according to the author, I must be more than unintelligent. I must be a down right idiot!"

Welcome to the club! We can all go stare at the sun and lick rocks together and lead perfectly blissful, ignorant lives away from the intellectual elite.

The intellectual elite who doesn't not seem to know (based on excerpts of his book) that "shall" is only supposed to be used in the first person, if you are speaking in the third person it is "will"...but again I hardly know the alphabet so nobody listen to me!


message 5: by Esther (new)

Esther Cotton Stefani wrote: "Esther wrote: "Moslem is another correct spelling. I think only in America do we spell it with a "u" instead of an "o".

I agree with you -- this author is kind of annoying! I keep seeing their boo..."


Oh yeah, I did read that comment! I loved it. Lol.


message 6: by Armen (new) - added it

Armen Melikian That's not the case, Stefani. Don't take it personally. The book is a normal book as far as I am concerned. I know both its strengths and weaknesses. What bothered me was that a few readers had given a 1 rating to the book simply because their level of high-school English and intellectual preparation was insufficient to grasp the concepts advanced in the book. Rather than honestly admitting their own limitations, such readers often take their vengeance on the author himself by doing their outmost to discredit him. As if every author is bound to cater to their narcissistic demand to create 3rd rate supermarket novels for them. and by doing so, they are defining the market for literature which has become a tragic reality affecting the entire industry. I've simply tried to keep such readers out. Please don't get offended. The book is experimental, and as such bound to be different at least in its style. While many don't have an appreciation for the experimental, others do. I simply want to find my readers.


Stefani Armen wrote: "That's not the case, Stefani. Don't take it personally. The book is a normal book as far as I am concerned. I know both its strengths and weaknesses. What bothered me was that a few readers had giv..."

I appreciate the response, and I am certainly not offended. I personally read all sorts of books, simple reads and complex reads and I judge each on its own merits. However, just because a reader dislikes something does not make it necessarily a flaw with the book itself or a flaw with the reader, it is simply that reader's preference. But I honestly don't understand what is to be gained by alienating potential readers of your work by making them feel like it's too good for them or they are just too dim to grasp it unless they've been college educated and have a high level of vocabulary. Most writers would take a reader anywhere they can get it and take the praise and criticism as it comes, by alienating large portions of potenial readers simply by framing it in such a condescending manner what is gained besides an ego boost for the author? I honestly hope you find the type of reader you are looking for, but the way you are going about it is going to lose you dozens more before they even have a copy in their hands.


message 8: by Armen (new) - added it

Armen Melikian Thanks for your valuable feedback. I appreciate it.


message 9: by MrsJoseph (new)

MrsJoseph Stefani wrote: "I appreciate the response, and I am certainly not offended. I personally read all sorts of books, simple reads and complex reads and I judge each on its own merits. However, just because a reader dislikes something does not make it necessarily a flaw with the book itself or a flaw with the reader, it is simply that reader's preference. But I honestly don't understand what is to be gained by alienating potential readers of your work by making them feel like it's too good for them or they are just too dim to grasp it unless they've been college educated and have a high level of vocabulary. Most writers would take a reader anywhere they can get it and take the praise and criticism as it comes, by alienating large portions of potenial readers simply by framing it in such a condescending manner what is gained besides an ego boost for the author? I honestly hope you find the type of reader you are looking for, but the way you are going about it is going to lose you dozens more before they even have a copy in their hands. "

QFT

Where's my "like" button?


Beatnik  Mary I wasn't aware that Goodreads recorded the level of English education of its reviewers so that Armen Melikian could decide whether or not to take their reviews seriously. I, for one, gave this book a one-star rating (because there isn't a lower rating) because I think the book is terrible, not because I couldn't understand it. Does the author wish to see copies of my multiple degrees before he acknowledges that some people simply dislike his book?


Stefani Beatnik wrote: "I wasn't aware that Goodreads recorded the level of English education of its reviewers so that Armen Melikian could decide whether or not to take their reviews seriously. I, for one, gave this book..."

That is kind of the point I was trying to make, but my comment fell on deaf ears it seems. Just because someone doesn't like a book is not a reflection of the book or its author, nor is it a reflection of the intelligence of the reviewer, it may just not be their taste. But still, that is no reason to alienate potential readers and bully actual readers.


Beatnik  Mary I've honestly never encountered the kind of ego that this author has displayed. I was starting to wonder if he was being serious, or if it was all an elaborate satire or something. He was actually copying and pasting large sections of his novel into other discussions on Goodreads. Like many amateur book bloggers, I usually try to be nice and be as polite as possible when still being honest about a book (esp. when I dislike it) but I am flummoxed by this author's choices.


Sherri Keller It makes me feel awful to shit all over the first book I've won in a giveaway, but DAMN. I thought this sort of author behaviour was limited to YA circles.


message 14: by MrsJoseph (new)

MrsJoseph Sherri wrote: "It makes me feel awful to shit all over the first book I've won in a giveaway, but DAMN. I thought this sort of author behaviour was limited to YA circles."

Has he gotten worse??


Stefani MrsJoseph wrote: "Sherri wrote: "It makes me feel awful to shit all over the first book I've won in a giveaway, but DAMN. I thought this sort of author behaviour was limited to YA circles."

Has he gotten worse??"


Same stuff different day as far as I can tell. Though on Beatnik's review he did make a comment about if we can have a problem with an author's ego he can have a problem with a reviewer's ego.


Beatnik  Mary Stefani wrote: "MrsJoseph wrote: "Sherri wrote: "It makes me feel awful to shit all over the first book I've won in a giveaway, but DAMN. I thought this sort of author behaviour was limited to YA circles."

Has he..."


Haha yeah he did say that, but I didn't bother to respond because, well, why? It doesn't bother me that he obsessively answers every negative comment with more of the same nonsense, so it's not like I'm trying to "shut him down" or something, I just find it amusing...and I'm a little embarrassed for him.


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