Teri Kelly's Reviews > Unholy Night

Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith
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's review
Jun 03, 2012

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Read in June, 2012

Hot on the decaying heels of Grahame-Smith’s foray into Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, & the thrilling accounts of Abe Lincoln’s Van Helsing exploits, comes another re-write, or is it re-make? I’m confused, somewhere between Python’s The Life of Brian and Moses’ trip through the wilderness looking for tablets something oddly disturbing has happened to the word. Now, it appears, we’re dogging Hollywood’s 21st Century mantra of ‘Everything that’s old is new again kid, and worth a few bucks.’ So, here we go with Unholy Night, that is, when all is said and done, a more enjoyable rendition of the nativity than the original. I prefer Herod with syphilis, the three wise men as escaped felons, and Pontius Pilot as a conniving little failure who comes up trumps, eventually. Corny, it is, in the extreme, but also, lightly readable. Maybe there’s a niche here for Grahame-Smith as the arbiter of biblical interpretation – who knows, maybe little Judean’s will be reading his complete version of the life and death of Jesus H from electronic terminals in about 2029 AD. Gore is good, not Al Gore, gore as in blood and guts and decapitation, all power to the Romans, and locusts, god, those locusts.
In the end however, goodness prevails and a perished old king with tastes in teenage flesh falls from grace and Mary and good old Joe escape to the Promised Land. Whether we needed Grahame-Smith’s somewhat lame epilogue is debatable, when you’ve seen one crucifixion you’ve seen them all, as any Roman worth their salt would tell you over peeled grapes and bloody swords. Yes, welcome to the death knell, all hail Caesar, and Brutus, and Judas.

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