Katrina Passick Lumsden's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Jul 26, 14

Read from June 01 to 02, 2012

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What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did. I did read that.

Meet Anastasia Steele:
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Ana is just a giant mess of a human being. She's insecure to the point of it being laughable, 'klutzy' (even though she only trips twice in the entire book), and a complete ditz. She's a virgin (of course) who's never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. Right. I'm fairly certain there hasn't been a woman this naive since 'round about 1954. At one point, she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian's lusty advances. Fuckin' really? She "flushes" constantly, and on several occasions referred to her hoo-hoo-naughty place as "down there."

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Next, we have Christian Grey:
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Christian is a misogynistic, self-loathing, abusive piece of shit. Apparently, his only redeeming qualities are, in this order; his ridiculous good looks, his money, and his giant penis. The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he's being "lovable", and those times are few and far between. Most of the time he's serious, brooding, and threatening. How charming.

I knew from the very first line this wasn't going to be good.

"I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror."

It was cemented that early, my deep, deep dislike for this moronic, simpering asshole. Your hair won't behave? Guess what?

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My suspicions were confirmed a few pages later when Ana admits that any "sympathy" she feels for her sick friend is "unwelcome". Unwelcome, apparently because her friend is beautiful, even when she has the flu...? What a petty, jealous cunt.

The only thing that made the first 4% of this book tolerable was the fact that I read it aloud to my younger brother, and his frequent commentary was amusingly distracting. Once he gave up, however, I had to travel the rest of the road alone. What a painful journey it was.

My first impressions of Ana were bad (deservedly so). What were my first impressions of Christian? Well...

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That's how I felt about Christian Grey. From the beginning. Any time an author tries to sell me on a character's "charm" by waxing hormonal about how "ridiculously good-looking" he is, I snicker inwardly. I can't think why....

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Huh.

Anyway, after reading about the description of Christian's building (hello, first penis metaphor), I had to sit through the awful dialogue between these smarmy idiots and hope beyond hope that something, anything, would distract me enough to see me through to the end. Turns out, I found something about 15% through. I went back and counted, and kept track throughout the rest of the book, and do you have any idea how many fucking times Ana said "Oh my" in this monumentally bad missive? Do you? I'll tell you; 79! 79 motherfucking times. "He pulled me back against his chest...oh my." "He began kissing a trail down my belly, oh my." "He's an insufferable douchenozzle, oh my!" (I'm just thankful that neither lions, tigers, nor bears were brought into this mess at any point.)

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About halfway through, I wished I'd been keeping track of the word "crap" because Ana is constantly saying/thinking it. Crap, Holy Crap, Double and Triple Crap, Oh Crap, This Crap, That Crap, any and all Crap. Speaking of crap, if I ever, ever ever have to hear/read the words "inner goddess" again, I'm going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads, light it, and toss unsuspecting women into it.

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^My inner goddess will cap yours in the face if you don't shut the fuck up^

I'm sorry, I just couldn't take any of this seriously. His playroom. His playroom? Really?

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Or how about his weird-ass issues with food? He wants the girl slim and in shape, yet he won't stop trying to force her to eat!

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I simply love the attempt E.L. James made at giving these pathetic shells personalities. Ana wears Converse, drives a vintage car, and likes classic British lit. *Yawn* haven't heard any of that before. And Christian; we know Christian's super deep and sophisticated because he plays the piano and listens to obscure classical music. This is how we know Edward Christian is really just a lost soul in need of love; his love of music. Everyone knows that no one threatening listens to music. Music lovers just aren't capable of doing anything bad.

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^Surprise! Psychos like music, too.^

Since this is considered nothing more than "mommy porn", I will attempt to pander to that particular demographic for a moment. Were the sex scenes well-written? Well, none of it was particularly well-written. The sex scenes could be kind of...honestly, they were kind of boring. I've had more exciting sex myself, so I guess reader response to the sex scenes is dependent on reader experience. There's nothing revolutionary here, and a lot of it is just plain unrealistic. I mean, come on, he pretty much jackhammers her hymen and she walks away with nothing more than a passing, pleasant soreness? Riiiight. How about the time he gives her a handjob with a soapy washcloth? Hello? Apparently neither one of them has ever heard of a urinary tract infection. Oh, or we could talk about her first time giving Christian a blowjob, during which Ana established herself as some kind of Queen of Deepthroat.

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Anyone wanna hear about the tampon scene? Oh, you've already heard about the tampon scene? Yeah, same here, although hearing about it and reading the actual scene are a bit different. For some reason, you imagine it being worse than it actually is, while at the same time, reading about it is more horrifying than you could possibly imagine.

"He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what! And...gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet."

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Look, I'm not against sex during menses, but a guy plucking out a girl's tampon? Yeah, gross. I'm not a prude, but there are certain lines people just shouldn't cross. What makes it worse is that Christian is just thrilled that Ana's raggin' because he hates using condoms.

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Apparently, Mr. GinormoDick doesn't know that a woman can get pregnant while on her period. Which is hilarious considering all the teaching and training he's doing to remedy Ana's sexual ignorance.

Sexual dependence, thy name is Anastasia Steele. We're supposed to believe that this girl has gone 21 years neither having had sex nor masturbating? Hm. Well, Christian's supposed sexual prowess makes a bit more sense now, as does Ana's assertion that he has a giant bologna wand. She has absolutely zero experience, and she's never once had anything "in there". Thing could be the size of a baby carrot and she'd still be like, "Oh, my glob! How is it ever going to fit?!"

It's good that she stockpiled all those potential orgasms, though, because now she's capable of having like, 15 a day or something. It's ridiculous. Come to think of it, Christian's obsession with her eating habits makes a bit more sense now. She was probably beginning to look like something out of a horror movie.

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Seriously, though, are we going to take the word of a girl who is apparently so undersexed she's never even masturbated? I guess I can sort of understand this obsession with some kind of an awakening, but...really? "Oh, he's soooo good in bed!" How the hell would she know?! She has absolutely nothing with which to compare, not even her own damn hand!

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Now I'll be totally honest, the biggest issue I have with Fifty Shades of Shit is neither the sex nor the horrible writing. It's the plot. Thin as it is, it's still there, its core message being that, given enough time, you can change someone. While I don't have any problem with this if all you're trying to do is help them to lose weight or quit smoking, when you're talking about an emotionally and (dangerously close to) physically abusive relationship, sending that kind of message is ridiculous and irresponsible. Christian is controlling, possessive, condescending, and cruel. He doesn't allow Ana to behave as she normally would, and Ana just puts up with it, insistent that if she can give him what he wants, when he wants, as often as he wants, she can eventually begin to pull his strings. Will it work? In the books, probably. In real life? No. Almost never. How many misguided women are going to waste their lives on some emotionally retarded prick because they've read shit like this and think this kind of fucked-up fairytale will come true for them? I've known women with this mentality. "Oh, he's so dark and dangerous and threatening, but he's got a sad, lonely side, and if I could just figure out what's wrong, I could change him!"

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Wake the fuck up! He may be hot, he may have a huge dick, he may even be rich, that doesn't make him a good person. It doesn't even make him a potentially good person. Quit.Being.A.Fucking.Idiot. (Look, I can make my words Staccato like Christian. Now hold still while I choke you until you pass out...)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic^Ana and Christian^ - "I said don't roll your eyes at me!!"

Christian stalks Ana (which she turns into a fucking joke), and whispers things to her "threateningly". She's constantly afraid he's going to beat the crap out of her, and with good reason as he, on more than one occasion, tells her he's going to/wants to.

Potential rape is downplayed. Ana's friend, Jake Jose, starts pushing himself on her rather vehemently when they're both drunk. Ana repeatedly says no, but Jose just keeps trying to go in for the kill. Admiral Chaps busts on up with his riding crop, however, and saves her. Ana (understandably) avoids Jose for a while after that, and when her other friend asks her why, all Ana says is, "He made a pass at me." Later on, she and Jose are friends again, the "attempted kiss" forgotten. *Sigh*

Rapists appear to be a theme. Christian tells Ana that he gets off on having complete and total control over another person. This is not just in the bedroom, but in Ana's overall life. On several occasions, he fails to yield when Ana says no, plunging on regardless, assured she'll like whatever he does, anyway, so why bother stopping?

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And there are women out there who think this is romantic.

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I wish you the best of luck, ladies. Just keep in mind that while you're fantasizing about abusive, misogynistic assholes like Grey, there are a lot of women dealing with the horrors of actually living with men like him. For all you ladies bustin' out your toys while daydreaming about Hunky Mr. Grey, I want you to do something for me. It'll only take a moment. Close your eyes. Think about all the things Christian Grey does in the book. Not just those supposed sweet things, but really, everything. His condescension, his control, his insane jealousy, his threats.....and now....imagine he looks like this:

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Still turned on?

The end of the book was absolutely hilarious, with Ana fleeing in emotional tumult because Christian can't give her what she needs (love! *sniff*).

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And we're treated to her alternately being angry about the pain and humiliation she faced at Christian's hands, and chastising herself for being a failure and for being mean to Christian. It really is classic abuse mentality. Yet I see her being touted by some as "strong and independent".

It's this kind of ignorant trash that sets feminism back decades. Women who defend this book are, however unwittingly, participating in some of the most blatant misogyny I've ever witnessed, giving the impression that some women enjoy being debased, abused, and controlled (outside of a consensual Dom/sub relationship). This is not a book about BDSM, this is a book about one sick, abusive man and his obsession with a young, naive invertebrate. It's a book about a girl who has absolutely no sense of self, who sacrifices any pretense of individuality in order to hold onto a man who doesn't even show her the faintest glimmer of respect. It's about two attention-starved individuals with the emotional maturity of toilet paper convincing themselves that their relationship is 'like, the best thing ever, OMG'. It's trite, insulting, and dangerous. I fear for any impressionable young women who read this and think that this is how an ideal relationship should operate. If nothing else, it should be issued as a guidebook to mothers around the world to show their daughters the kind of man to avoid at all costs. This book does good men (and indeed, all of humanity) a disservice.

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*Sigh*

A bestseller. They're thinking of turning it into a movie....I can't....

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Word Count:
"Oh My" - 79
"Crap" - 101
"Jeez" - 82
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" - 172
"Whoa" - 13
"Gasp" - 34
"Gasps" - 11
"Sharp Intake of Breath" - 4
"Murmur" - 68
"Murmurs" - 139
"Whisper" - 96
"Whispers" - 103
"Mutter" - 28
"Mutters" - 23
"Fifty" - 16
"Lip" - 71
"Inner goddess" - 58
"Subconscious" - 82

Click here for my review of Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades, #2).

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Reading Progress

06/02/2012
55.0% "Oh.this.is.just.awful.

"...every word a staccato." Oy."
06/02/2012
55.0% 1 comment

Comments (showing 1-50 of 5,308) (5308 new)


message 1: by Yady (last edited Jun 02, 2012 08:43PM) (new)

Yady Brilliant, Kato! Now I'm glad that I won't have to endure what you suffered! Thanks for taking one for the team!


Katrina Passick Lumsden Yady wrote: "Brilliant, Kato! Now I'm glad that I won't have to endure what you suffered! Thanks for taking one for the team!"

Thanks, Yads:) I'll probably add more to this over the next couple of days if/as I think of it. There was just so damn much to complain about. I really do not understand the hype. The erotic factor can be found in a lot of other books, and I'm sure at least some of those are a lot better written.

I think the only reason it's so hyped is because it started out as Twilight fanfic. That's the only way I can see its popularity making any sense.


message 3: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina Now go and read the next books! No really, you have seen nothing untill the evil other women come along. :D


Katrina Passick Lumsden Dinjolina wrote: "Now go and read the next books! No really, you have seen nothing untill the evil other women come along. :D"

Oh, I wasn't going to, but curiosity has got the better of me. I need a bit more time to recuperate, though, before I begin the second.

I've heard some truly disturbing things about the third...


message 5: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina Katrina wrote: "I've heard some truly disturbing things about the third...

"


Really? What?
*all ears*

And yes! I have to ask. There are just to many 'wtf' moments to pick from! XD


Katrina Passick Lumsden Dinjolina wrote: "Katrina wrote: "I've heard some truly disturbing things about the third...

"

Really? What?
*all ears*

And yes! I have to ask. There are just to many 'wtf' moments to pick from! XD"


Ahem...that there is a scene in which Christian sucks on his son's fingers and this is a umm...turn on...? I really hope that's wrong. But I guess there's a scene where Christian feels Ana's pregnant belly and the baby is flipping around in there...and Christian says, "She likes sex already!" Like...WTF? Lol.


message 7: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina I do not recall the finger sucking...
(was I THAT drunk?.....and yes, I did read that book while drinking. Not recommended, btw! You get suicidal.)
I do recall him being turned on by the kid sucking his mother boobs. Still weird for me.

The wtf moments that I can think of right now are:
*The fact that when C had Anna problems he went to the lady that initiated him to bdsm- a lady that is about 30 years older than him. They talked, no cheating, mind you!
Still, talking about your gf/wife with somebody that pretty much was a pedophile (she liked him since he was 16…do not remember if she waited for him to be 18 before she jumped his bones….) and molded you in to the twisted obsessive fucker that you are.
*That all his ex-es look alike. Like, carbon copies. Why? Because he likes his sex partners to look like his biological mother. And no….I am not kidding.
Still, it is said that Anna is special. I have no idea why….she is the most boring of the lot of them.
*He pays school/housing/what ever-you name it for all of his ex gf. Every single on of them. And the one that tried to kill Anna? She gets psychiatric help. Because she did not really mean it.
*The girl that ended up at the shrinks? I do not really remember what book that was in (her being in their flat and brandishing a knife) but Chris did the most logical thing he could- he took her clothes off and put her in a tub while holding her. Clothed, mind you.
Why, you ask?
Only he knows.



Btw,I read an interview with this author once…She states that she never researched bdsm. She said that she knows ONE man in the bdsm genre. She met him and thought ‘Wow! He is even more fu*ked up that my male character!’. She then proceeds to tell how she knows all people in the lifestyle are….weird psychos. But she understands that they also have to live! That is why she gave Chris a HEA. Even the weirdoes get those!

I am very much not in to bdsm, but I feel totally offended. Bearing this in mind, I implore you- check out how she skims the bdsm. There will be more of the ‘bdsm’ in the 2 and third book - so pay attention. See how she knows not a thing about what she is writing. *shakes her head*


message 8: by Katrina (last edited Jun 03, 2012 04:49PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Dinjolina wrote: "I do not recall the finger sucking...
(was I THAT drunk?.....and yes, I did read that book while drinking. Not recommended, btw! You get suicidal.)
I do recall him being turned on by the kid suckin..."


Perhaps it was there, but removed? People don't generally take kindly to pedophilia...*smdh*

Yeah, the Mrs. Robinson who seduced him when he was 15....no, she didn't wait until he was 18. Which makes her a pedophile. Something that greatly irked me in the first book was that Christian kept saying, "She's not a pedophile!" Ummm...yeah, Chris, she is.

I've read so many reviews that I've probably spoiled all the surprises for myself. I'd already heard about the "all his subs look like his birth mother" thing, and I was thoroughly disgusted. Last time I checked, serial killers do that kind of thing. Hmm.

It's very offensive. I've participated in some very light BDSM (Vanilla BDSM? lol)....and to say that everyone who has a particular kink is somehow "fucked up"? Can you imagine what a bore E.L. James must be in the sack? Ha!


message 9: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina I read those books at the time they came out. So I forgot….mostly everything. With the sheer power of my will. ^^
I checked now. The bath scene was also in book one, so eh! You have already been there! :DDD
(Btw, was that not the strangest thing EVER?)

As for sexing him up when he was 16……..riiight. There was talk about him being 18 for…something…I have it all mixed up.
(God…my memory is like the memory of a hamster- from meal to meal..)
Because this shit was not fun. It actually made me mad. Madder still when I read the above mentioned interview. I mean, if a book is bad, I am at least supposed to have fun with it, no?

Along the lines of this
weird erotic book
^^


message 10: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina Btw, I actually went and fount my FSoG book 3...yeah, he licks his kids fingers. It was not sexual, so I Idid not connect the dots for what you were talking about....still, it was very much weird.


message 11: by LaShonta (new) - added it

LaShonta Omg, this review was freaking awesome!


message 12: by Emma Sea (new)

Emma Sea Your review is vastly more enjoyable than the book: thank you!


message 13: by Huma (new)

Huma Rashid I ... kind of love you. <3


message 14: by Katrina (last edited Jun 03, 2012 07:52PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Dinjolina wrote: "I read those books at the time they came out. So I forgot….mostly everything. With the sheer power of my will. ^^
I checked now. The bath scene was also in book one, so eh! You have already been th..."


I really, really, really hope I'm able to forget about them when all's said and done. I applaud you.

I think there may have been something wrong with the efile of the first book I got a hold of. No bath scene for me, no appearance of any old flames of Christian's at all, which I found odd....and the quotes from Tess of the D'Urbervilles were missing. Might have to remedy this.

I agree, it wasn't fun at all. When reading erotic scenes, the usual reaction is arousal, not laughing/horrified/disgusted/confused/yawning. Lol.

That. That book. Sex with a Mummy? I might have to try and get my hands on that. Lol.


Katrina Passick Lumsden LaShonta wrote: "Omg, this review was freaking awesome!"

Thank you:)


Katrina Passick Lumsden Emma C wrote: "Your review is vastly more enjoyable than the book: thank you!"

You're welcome, thank you!


Katrina Passick Lumsden Huma wrote: "I ... kind of love you. <3"

Lol, thanks *blushing* <3


message 18: by Dinjolina (new)

Dinjolina Katrina wrote: "Dinjolina wrote: "I read those books at the time they came out. So I forgot….mostly everything. With the sheer power of my will. ^^
I checked now. The bath scene was also in book one, so eh! You ha..."


Nothing was missing. We are all crazy (me and some other reviewers that said the bath scene was in book one) and you are the only normal person.... When I said I 'checked'- I looked at other peoples reviews, because I could not remember myself. Well, now I went and looked for all my Fifty books...........the drama with Mrs. Robinson happens in book 2. The bath scene too.
Yeah....you may think we are all messing with you, but gosh, at the time these books were out , the bundles were out too, the fanfic was still online...blah blah...nobody was able to remember what happened when :D

Sorry for the confusion. ^^


message 19: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Fredette This is honestly one of the best responses/reviews I have ever read. The gifs... I just want to hug you. When I heard about this, I knew I wasn't going to read it because it's not my thing, but this review gets 5 stars from me.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Dinjolina wrote: "Katrina wrote: "Dinjolina wrote: "I read those books at the time they came out. So I forgot….mostly everything. With the sheer power of my will. ^^
I checked now. The bath scene was also in book on..."


Not a problem. I fixed my situation, anyway since the one I read didn't even denote chapters, which got annoying quick!

I'm glad I decided to check this, though, because I was just going through to see if anything had been left out of the other. Even skimming through this book is painful, lol. You would probably have to read this book four or five times to pick up every mistake.

"You wanted to know why I felt so confused after you - which euphemism should we apply - spanked, punished, beat, assaulted me."

"Tanned my hide" would be a euphemism. "Assaulted me", not so much.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Michelle wrote: "This is honestly one of the best responses/reviews I have ever read. The gifs... I just want to hug you. When I heard about this, I knew I wasn't going to read it because it's not my thing, but thi..."

Thank you:)

I first read about this book months ago, and I hadn't planned on reading it, either. It's become so popular, however, I just couldn't resist. I knew I was going to hate it, but I was relishing the idea of writing a review like this. I figured, if any book ever deserved it...


message 22: by John (new)

John Goode ROFL Best. Review. Ever.


message 23: by OkayKim (new) - added it

OkayKim For one thing the price of the ebook turn me off and secondly, I'm not into reading BDSM books. So what happens, my eldest daughter bought the whole series as a gift to me.
I wish I could email her this review!


Katrina Passick Lumsden John wrote: "ROFL Best. Review. Ever."

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it:)


Katrina Passick Lumsden OkayKim wrote: "For one thing the price of the ebook turn me off and secondly, I'm not into reading BDSM books. So what happens, my eldest daughter bought the whole series as a gift to me.
I wish I could email her..."


Oh, I'm so sorry. It's the thought that counts, though, right? Actually, I'm not sure that helps at all, lol.


message 26: by Wiebke (new)

Wiebke Thank you for a laugh... had to give up the source material film after about 30 minutes... this sounds even worse!

Will save that money!


message 27: by Kimberly (new)

Kimberly Brown Another awesome review. You need your own website. I'm not just saying that 'cause you're my sister and all. I think it was funnier because I had already read the book, and yes, there were a great many things that disturbed me as well. Like her consistently disregarding her roommate/best friend's instincts. She doesn't trust the man FOR A REASON and it ain't jealousy! I don't think I would object so much to this book if it was presented in a such a way to show that Ana has serious self-esteem, psychological issues and actually woke up and got help. Or even it showed this "relationship" following its logical conclusion to him beating the hell out of her cuz that's where it's headed. As you so rightly pointed out, this kind of "fiction" is doing a huge disservice to women out there that need a very different message. It makes me really sad to think there are many women that truly believe that they have to act this way in order to be loved.


message 28: by Katrina (last edited Jun 04, 2012 02:40PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Kimberly wrote: "Another awesome review. You need your own website. I'm not just saying that 'cause you're my sister and all. I think it was funnier because I had already read the book, and yes, there were a great ..."

Thanks, Kim:)

You're completely right. Had this been presented realistically with, as you say, the girl coming to her senses and leaving the bastard, or him finally beating the shit out of her, I could somewhat overlook the bad writing. But this entire series is spiraling down into Redemptionville, and all I can do is shake my head and weep for the future.

I've actually seen people freaking out on those of us who don't like this book by saying we need to read the entire series to really "get it". Since she left the sicko at the end of the first book, I would have been much happier had it just ended there. The fact that they get back together only about 10% into the second book only infuriates me further.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Wiebke wrote: "Thank you for a laugh... had to give up the source material film after about 30 minutes... this sounds even worse!

Will save that money!"


Thank you, you're most welcome:)

Yes, definitely save your money. This tripe makes Stephenie Meyers' writing look competent, which is almost completely incomprehensible to me.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I check in on the new 1 star reviews for this crap every week because I'm such a hater. This one was hilarious. :D

Why this trilogy is so popular is totally mind-boggling.


message 31: by Rachel (BAVR) (new)

Rachel (BAVR) LOL @ "Admiral Chaps." I want to use that in everyday conversation now.

Great review! :D


message 32: by Mermarie (last edited Jun 05, 2012 11:03AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mermarie Hahaha, holy sheet, I loved this review! I'd cauterize my vagina before if the only means of sexual activity, were with that sort of knuckle-dragging Neanderthal! Please, take me out of the line-up.

Newsflash, Mr. Grey! My inner-goddess reloads! Lol


message 33: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Love the gifs. Love the review. Love. The. Staccato. Word. Play. :D

*applauds*


Katrina Passick Lumsden Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "I check in on the new 1 star reviews for this crap every week because I'm such a hater. This one was hilarious. :D

Why this trilogy is so popular is totally mind-boggling."


Thanks:)

I do the same thing, I love reading one star reviews of the things I detest. Maybe it makes us haters...don't care, lol.

The only thing these books are good for is rippin' on, which I am enjoying immensely.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Mermarie wrote: "Hahaha, holy sheet, I loved this review! I'd cauterize my vagina before if the only means of sexual activity, were with that sort of knuckle-dragging Neanderthal! Please, take me out of the line-up..."

Thank you!


"Newsflash, Mr. Grey! My inner-goddess reloads!"

LMFAO.


message 36: by Katrina (last edited Jun 05, 2012 03:22PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Rachel wrote: "LOL @ "Admiral Chaps." I want to use that in everyday conversation now.

Great review! :D"


Thanks, lol;) Maybe I should trademark it. Or write a piece of fanfic based on this fanfic....oh, that might be fun....


Katrina Passick Lumsden Sarah wrote: "Love the gifs. Love the review. Love. The. Staccato. Word. Play. :D

*applauds*"


*Bowing*

Thank you:)


Katrina Passick Lumsden Mia wrote: "Applause. Bows to you :)

ps. LOL"


*Bows* right back at ya! Lol, thanks:)


Ashley Omg, Katrina, that is ABSOLUTELY the BEST review I've read about the book. I'm just nodding in agreement and laughing as I read your review. Awesome job!


Baba  ♥♥♥ Tyler, Marcus, Archer, Dean, Adrian, Dan & Hunter Holy cow (crap)! Yeah, I'm very sorry but I have to use your favorite word again. LOL Awesome review, Katrina!!! Yeah, this book is such crap it's beyond me. Imagine, FSoG EMPOWERS women in their sexuality! Huh??? Oh, and thanks so much for reminding me of this verrrry special term "down there". I forgot to mention it in my review...Well, my inner goddess was so delighted to read your review. :-)

Loved this:
Crap, Holy Crap, Double and Triple Crap, Oh Crap, This Crap, That Crap, any and all Crap. Speaking of crap, if I ever, ever ever have to hear/read the words "inner goddess" again, I'm going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads, light it, and toss unsuspecting women into it.


message 41: by Donna (last edited Jun 06, 2012 05:16PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Donna J Classic, I want to post this for everyone to read who is trying to decied if they should bother reading 50 shades or not!!


message 42: by [deleted user] (new)

Haven't read it, but your review is hilarious! Made my morning. Thanks. :) (No, it's not even on my TR list)


message 43: by [deleted user] (new)

Hilarious review. How do you post the video clips? :)


message 44: by Theresa (new)

Theresa Thanks for the great review! I'll save my money for a better book!


Katrina Passick Lumsden Ashley wrote: "Omg, Katrina, that is ABSOLUTELY the BEST review I've read about the book. I'm just nodding in agreement and laughing as I read your review. Awesome job!"

Thanks:)


Katrina Passick Lumsden Baba wrote: "Holy cow (crap)! Yeah, I'm very sorry but I have to use your favorite word again. LOL Awesome review, Katrina!!! Yeah, this book is such crap it's beyond me. Imagine, FSoG EMPOWERS women in their s..."

Lol, thanks so much!

I hate that she made me think twice whenever I use the words "crap" or "holy". I'm just praying that I will eventually work the poison out of my system and be able to speak freely at some point in the future. Without fear of PTSD-like panic attacks, hehe.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Donna wrote: "Classic, I want to post this for everyone to read who is trying to decied if they should bother reading 50 shades or not!!"

Thanks! And I definitely wouldn't complain if you did;)


Katrina Passick Lumsden Georgina wrote: "Haven't read it, but your review is hilarious! Made my morning. Thanks. :) (No, it's not even on my TR list)"

You will undoubtedly emerge from this latest foray into pop culture insanity unscathed. My hats off to you!

And thanks:)


Katrina Passick Lumsden Meg wrote: "Hilarious review. How do you post the video clips? :)"

Thank you!

Right-click and save the image to your desktop, then upload it to an image hosting site (I use Photobucket). Copy the "HTML code" from the image, then past it into your review with the beginner code (without the quotation marks) - "<" "img" (space) "src" "=".


Katrina Passick Lumsden Theresa wrote: "Thanks for the great review! I'll save my money for a better book!"

It was my pleasure, thank you! Glad I could help:)


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