Steph Sinclair's Reviews > Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by Fanny Merkin
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May 24, 2012

really liked it
bookshelves: bite-me-whip-me-chain-me, 2012-release, adult, funny, 2012-reads, parody, netgalley, e-arc, ebook
Recommended for: Those looking for a laugh
Read from November 22 to 26, 2012 , read count: 1


Very fun read! Just what I needed right now. :)
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Quotes Steph Liked

“I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks’ coffee tastes like burnt ass,” I say.
“Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.”
“And how would you know what burnt ass tastes like?”
He laughs. “That’s for me to know…and you to find out.”
I’m not sure I want to find out, but whatever.”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

“Here’s the aisle with tape.”
“Thank you, Miss Steal,” he says. He picks up the most expensive brand, which runs $3.99 a roll. This guy is a total baller.”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

“Are you ready for my love gun?” he says.
Uh-oh. “What’s a love gun? Is that a sex toy?”
“No,” he says. “I’m talking about my penis.”
“Oh,” I say. “Then yes. Fire away”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

“My god, Anna,” he says. “I almost lost you.” He has me in his powerful grip. I’ve never felt this safe before.
“Never let go,” I say, looking into his beautiful gray eyes.
“That could be problematic,” he says. “I’ll have to let you go at some point. What if I have to pee? What if you have to pee?”
“I don’t care,” I say.
“What if I have an important business meeting and I’m holding you and we’re both covered in urine?”
I start to cry. “You’re right,” I say, turning my face away from his gaze. “Nothing lasts forever.”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

“I spend the rest of the night doing schoolwork. After striking a match and lighting a candal, I sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write an essay for my ethics class on the legalities of fan fiction.”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
tags: humor

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror with the brown eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait... my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I've been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is fine.”
Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
tags: humor


Reading Progress

11/23/2012
12.0% ""I sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write an essay for my ethics class on the legalities of fan fiction."

BAHAHAHAHA! Win." 6 comments
11/25/2012
38.0% "Hahaha! The entrance to Earl's 'Room of Doom' is by way of pulling at copy of Twilight on his bookshelf."

Comments (showing 1-9)




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message 9: by Lissa (new)

Lissa LOL


Amanda The Book Slayer I can't wait for this one. I was updating my page on a group site and saw that this book was linked to fifty one shades . I was so excited she got a contract.


Steph Sinclair Mommaseymour wrote: "I can't wait for this one. I was updating my page on a group site and saw that this book was linked to fifty one shades . I was so excited she got a contract."

I think you mean "he." Andrew is a guy! But I'm excited too!


Amanda The Book Slayer Yeah. Lol oops.


message 5: by Mariam (new)

Mariam I saw a post about it on tumblr and read the first paragraph of it and was like "THIS, I will get THIS!"


Steph Sinclair Mariam wrote: "I saw a post about it on tumblr and read the first paragraph of it and was like "THIS, I will get THIS!""

Right? It just screams, "READ ME NOW!"


message 3: by Mariam (new)

Mariam Stephanie wrote: "Mariam wrote: "I saw a post about it on tumblr and read the first paragraph of it and was like "THIS, I will get THIS!""

Right? It just screams, "READ ME NOW!""


YES! EXACTLY!


message 2: by DCRD (new)

DCRD Oooh!This I have to read! Like, right now!


Natalie Monroe It's okay but not especially funny


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