Katie's Reviews > How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber
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F_50x66
's review
Jul 06, 12

bookshelves: parenting-and-communication, favorites
Read from May 24 to July 05, 2012

This book outlines strategies on how to talk to your kids so they will respond and feel like human beings (quite simply and quite honestly put). We needed this book so badly in our house. It is so easy to start yelling and get angry when my daughter will not listen to anything we say. The yelling then makes things worse and she shuts down and acts out even more forcefully. It also causes my spouse and I to start fighting which sparks even more emotion in our daughter. She will say "Stop yelling at my Mommy, she's my friend." The circle just keeps going and getting worse. Your book opened up our entire household to a new thinking. I cannot thank you enough. I also used the written note strategy/idea on my husband. I sent him an email about something that was bothering me regarding our family. He didn't respond to the email, but I actually saw a MAJOR change in him that night. I was blown away.

Examples:
Daughter would not get in her car seat. She just wanted to stand and play with some rocks she picked up at the beach a few minutes before we got in the car. Before I would have taken the rocks and tossed them out of the car and begged and pleaded with her to get in her seat. Taking the rocks out would have only made her more upset and probably HURT her feelings. Something I wasn't considering at all in these moments before your book. This time I simply said "So you don't want to get in your car seat, huh? Why not?" No answer. I didn't push as I have learned there is no need to push anymore in these moments. "Well, I can see you really don't want to get in your car seat, baby girl." She looked at me and hopped into her car seat. ME: UTTER SHOCK

Daughter is banging on the fridge door. "Emma, stop! Mama said stop...stop stop stop...." etc and so on. Mommy takes a time out for a second and thinks. "Hey Emma, what are we supposed to bang on, do you know?" Emma: "Drums!!" Me: "Can you show me how you drum?" Emma: "Yes!!!" Runs to drums in sunporch, starts singing and drumming. Mommy sits down and starts mimicking Emma's song on her own drum. Emma starts singing again, Mommy starts singing same words when she finishes. Emma starts laughing hysterically and is genuinely HAPPY for the time being. MOM: Utter shock!!!!

Emma wants to pour her orange juice out on the grass to "feed the ants." Mommy sees cup starting to be spilled. "Hey Emma, did you know ants don't drink orange juice, but they like water?" Emma stops pouring juice (none gets spilled). "What do you think? If you finish that juice...how about we go in and get some water in a cup that you can feed the ants with?" Emma - "OK!" Finishes juice! Mom: Utter shock!!!

Emma starts having a full blown overtired meltdown at 7pm over nothing. Awful. Can't calm her down. Mom: "Hey Emma, want to take that old bakery bread in the kitchen and help me feed the birds?" Emma: "YES!!!" Me: "Ok, but you have to tear it up into small pieces for the birds." Emma: "Can I throw a big one too?" Me: "OK, yes" Emma runs to kitchen. We go outside and rip up the old bread and throw it. Emma is happy for the time being. Mom: Utter shock

TO BE CON'T
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Reading Progress

05/24/2012 "audible.com"
05/27/2012 "great book for dealing with all people."
06/24/2012
60.0% "great book for talking to all people"
06/29/2012
70.0% "really works"
07/03/2012
80.0% "Love this book."
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