David Lentz's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Jun 27, 12


Dear Ms. E.L. James,
I wish to express my most sincere disapprobation and sternest, dare I say, most strict lecture for ruining my private life. Although I have gained more than my fair share of attention for my mature sophistication among the ladies in the past, I have become overwhelmed since the publication of your very knotty trilogy on the darker arts of sensuality in your "Fifty Shades of Grey." Besides the common sounding name as a homonym it seems that I possess a certain physical likeness, gravitas and disposition to the eponymous protagonist in your novels like Roger Sterling in "Mad Men." Just the other day I had to visit Greenwich Hardware here in New England to replace a length of clothesline frayed over the winter. As I emerged from the store, I was accosted by nearly a half-dozen younger women on my way to my copter, Delta Foxtrot, in the parking lot. They all had the usual, pointed and demeaning questions: what are you doing with that length of rope, baby? Want to tie me up and then tie me down? How'd you like to try a bowline or two at my house for fun? Are you free for a coffee: as long as it's not plain vanilla? I'm not too tied up at the moment but I'd certainly like to be? Unspeakable contracts are waived in front of my face on a regular basis for signing with their Waterman pens. I can only answer them that I'm taking my length of rope off to a hanging: my own. It seems that I can't go anywhere now in Delta Foxtrot without the constant, stinging and smarting flagellation of such intrusion into my private life and while, at first, I must confess that I considered it rather novel, even flattering, and somewhat amusing, now it has become nothing more than a major irritation. I don't mean to sound too tightly wrapped, Ms. James, but I am NOT your whipping boy! (Yellow) How dare you intrude into my privacy and base your Christian so closely after my intimate, private life? How dare you, madam? (My wife has advised me never to refer to a woman as "madam" unless you meet her in a brothel that she happens to own.) But I get no rest. Night and day there are phone calls suggesting the most vile interplay from eager, willing and wanton women. I am utterly at loose ends! How shall I explain all this to my beautiful wife? By the way is it true that you're planning more "ouevres" in this literary genre? Thank you, Mistress, we'll have another? Well, I would like to suggest in Books 5, 6 and 7, which are bound to follow such rich royalties, that my namesake be knocked off in a plot twist similar to the last episode of "House." Tie my namesake up in knots in a McMansion and burn it to the ground. (Red) You're welcome. But back to the stern business at hand, if you do not accommodate this most reasonable literary gesture, then I shall be forced to contact my solicitors and seek restraint of trade. Please don't make me do it. A man can only take so much abuse without breaching hard limits, and give it, before he goes from the top of his form to the bottom of his game. I think you perceive the "double entendre" perfectly well. Have I made myself clear? As I would never, ever seek to be coy or beat about the bush, I'll wrap this up with a ribbon for you for now. Do as I command! BTW please accept my very best wishes and I wonder if you're free for an intimate, little lunch sometime next week to meet a close friend of mine. Please give my deepest respects and highest regards to Mr. James: shall we lift a glass of Graye Goose in his honor?
Bottoms up?
Laters, baby,
Christian Graye
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message 1: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls This is a fun review, but after your passionate defence of difficult literature, may I ask what the bejesus you are doing reading this (and rating it five stars?) Politely. MJ.


message 2: by David (last edited May 22, 2012 12:39PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz Dear MJ,
"50SOG" is insufficiently complex for my serious reading tastes. I don't really see how this book accomplishes much as a literary legacy except to make James filthy rich. So I won't invest in a copy of the book. But the satirical value is just too good to pass up. And I'm not always serious when I read or write.
I've considered publishing a new parody: "20 Shades of Tan." I expect to get impossibly rich from it. Ian and Paul have already shown its potential. But I see your point so I have changed my rating to three stars.


message 3: by MJ (new)

MJ Nicholls So you did read the book? See, I'd rather people just posted parodies based on all the media chatter without actually wasting their time reading it. Because some books you can write off as terrible without reading them. Fact. (I also heartily endorse your moneymaking scheme. I'll write the epigraph).


Kata Dear David,

I'm glad I'm not the only highbrow reader confessing their sins on Goodreads. Your review was more entertaining than the book. Quick send off an email to E.L. James she needs literary help!

Cheers,
Kata


message 5: by David (last edited May 22, 2012 07:07PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz Kata wrote: "Dear David,

I'm glad I'm not the only highbrow reader confessing their sins on Goodreads. Your review was more entertaining than the book. Quick send off an email to E.L. James she needs literary..."


Dear Kata,
Your comment was more entertaining than my review. So that means your comment was more entertaining than the book. Let's call it good karma, shall we? And judging by your profile your brows seem to be properly located as neither too high nor too low but I would recommend that you keep raising them. BTW -- nice review of "50SOG."


David Lentz message 83: by Ian(last edited 19 hours, 6 min ago) - rated it 1 star

19 hours, 10 min ago

My dear brother, Christian
Sorry I haven't had a chance to text you since lunch with Erika yesterday, but needless to say things went very well. I've been up all night in her secure wi-fi-free apartment in West London, tying up the loose ends on our little business deal. Her publisher was so excited and supportive. He literally flogged us so hard, we didn't have time to scratch ourselves. The chains helped, of course. We celebrated this morning with strawberries and lashings of whipped cream. The cream objected so loudly, I thought the neighbours would complain. No such luck. I guess they're more used to it in London. As you can imagine, I haven't had a chance to get to the post office, so I hope you don't mind me sending this missive by carrier pigeon. More details to follow.
All my brotherly love,
Ian
P.S. Have you heard anything from Rodney? He and Wendy were going up to Nottingham for the weekend. They were hoping to spend some quality time together. Wendy really appreciated you getting her that vegemite. What else can you give an Aussie girl who has everything? (A weekend at the Park Plaza Nottingham?) See you at Heathrow, if not before.

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message 84: by David(last edited 1 hour, 52 min ago)
18 hours, 47 min ago

My gracious brother, Ian,
I hope I didn't seem too tightly wrapped in my last petulant missive. I am not surprised about the lack of restraint of the neighbors in restraint: I have heard it's much more common in London. It's certainly rampant in New York: utterly virile and the soundproofing companies can hardly keep up with demand in the lofts of SoHo and the Meatpacking District. No worries about getting to the post office as long as one gets to the post. I must confess that I have sworn off chains: too many questions in public while wearing Bermuda shorts and short sleeves with the onset of summer about those odd little markings. Awwwkwaard!
I recommend the soft nylon chords of Book I, Chapter 1 of "50SOG." I'll not beat around the bush: haven't heard a peep from Rod nor Wendy, the latter of whom is just learning the ropes, I gather. Not even a groan, a moan or a growl from either Rod or Wendy. I imagine the strawberries and cream at Wimbie this season may serve a new dual-use.
Be good when you can't be bad to good effect, my brother.
Yours,
Christian Graye

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message 85: by Ian(last edited 15 hours, 29 min ago) - rated it 1 star

16 hours, 6 min ago


My most generous and unrapacious brother, Christian
No need to apologise. Petulance was the lance furthest from my flesh or reason when I read your earnest spray, I dare not call it a series of spontaneous ejaculations (it was actually so revealing and insightful, it reminded me of Mother dressing up as a gypsy and reading tea leaves in the "cosmic cup of time" at that political fundraiser - it always amused her that it was the candidate who kept coming back for another cup). Funny you should mention Wimbledon. Erika suggested that I come over this year. She said she'd love to bang a few balls around the court, especially if they were mine. "From pillar to post" were her actual words, either that or "from pillow to post" (I still haven't quite mastered the English accent). I shouldn't brag, she's actually very discreet and determined that what happens in the vicinity of the bed, the floor or the bathroom stays thereabouts, at least until she publishes it (place names changed, of course, unless and until some sort of revenue arrangements are inked). She's been bitten by the bed blog before. Needless to say, this dangerous literary liaison must stay strictly between us and on this side of the Atlantic. I haven't resolved whether and how to reveal any of this to Ana. I'm thinking I might even have to keep it a secret, although half the fun is in the telling.
All my brotherly love,
Ian
P.S. Ironic that you mention the Meatpacking District as well. Rod and Wendy have sent us an update on their Nottingham sojourn in the most public of places (strange that I should have one brother who's a voyeur and another an exhibitionist), a review of "The Butcher":

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

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message 86: by Michael
3 hours, 18 min ago

Now, if the Great Dane had showed no interest.... Would the novel have been improved one wonders?

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message 87: by Paul - rated it 1 star
2 hours, 51 min ago

It would have thereby become the noblest and most attractive character in the novel.

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message 88: by David(last edited 1 hour, 25 min ago)
2 hours, 16 min ago

Dear kind and articulate brother, Ian,
You'll never guess into whom I bumped at the porno shop at 3rd and Lex in the City: Rod and Wendy. They were shopping for vibrating devices with remote control and a basket full of long-lasting AA batteries. Ever the eco-friendly soul, I recommended that they try the new solar-powered device, which has however proved to be disappointing in its reliability and, hence, its less than hoped for sales in rainier climes. I asked how the Great Dane was coming along and may have inadvertently stepped in it. They pretended that I was making a reference to Rod's rather protracted reading of Hamlet: I just let it go after they reassured me that the dog had just come back from the vet following an inquiry about a nasty rash. They blathered on about the Great Dane's being up to date on his flea-and-tick medicine, and how the mutt (not Rod) just had a shot for distemper. God, what a fleabag (not Wendy). Only you will know what to tell Ana. I do love names which are palindromes, don't you? I once knew a man with dyslexia who named all of his children in palindromes so he could keep them all straight in his mind: Bob, Elle and Anna, as I recall. Loved the review of "The Butcher" and congratulations on having substantively conceived chapter one of the proposed new literary venture via-a-vis "20 Shades of Tan" about an Asian gentleman with odd proclivities and a virgin geisha. Are you in? Always good to know where one stands on that question. The unintended consequences of ignorance to that one simple question have been known to populate vast continents of entire families of unsuspecting but dutiful Catholics. Bye the bye just wanted you to know that I have taken the plunge and diligently have applied for admittance to the BDSM Reading Group on GR. I don't mean to sound eager but it is the hottest reading group on GR. I used you, Manny, Brian, Paul and NGE as references: hope you don't mind. When they contact you, please say only nice things about the usual character requirements. Not sure I'll be admitted and shall admit to having some second thoughts: why would I want to belong to a BDSM Reading Group which would admit me as a member to paraphrase Groucho? Nevertheless, hope beats eternal, does it not? I have so much to give. So much BDSM, so little time. I'll keep you posted on the outcome of my application. Pray for me. See you on the uptake, my brother.
Yours,
Christian Graye

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message 89: by mark
2 hours, 6 min ago

i have had to copy some of these messages to enjoy later, and perhaps forward. they are too droll to languish in a comments thread. i feel like i should be paying someone for the enjoyment but fortunately no one is charging at the door.

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message 90: by Thom
1 hour, 36 min ago

Aren't we all making a lot of fuss about wanking books ?

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by David(last edited 0 minutes ago)
1 minute ago

Dear Ian,
Just a quick update, I am proud to report that I...first, deep breath... that I have been ACCEPTED into the BDSM Reading Group at GR. I would like to thank all my sponsors and references for their hearty or even their reluctant endorsements: in any event whatever you managed to say about me did the trick and I'm IN. When I texted my wife the good news, she replied: "Have you gone mad?" Nevertheless, I can hardly wait to join "The Life" as it is known in the streets in earnest and this association is good for street cred, as it were. Just a little housekeeping note for my good friend, Thom -- not sure about the meaning of the British expression "wanking books." British English is so different from American English with all the "lifts" and "lorries" and so on and so forth: I just wish that you Brits would speak the King's English so that we all can understand each other. Anyway, I looked up "wank" in our American Heritage Dictionary and it wasn't there. So do you mean like a computer wank, like Manny? Or can you use it in another sentence for me? Please let me know what you mean by this so I may respond appropriately. Perhaps, some of my new colleagues at BDSMRG can shed some light on this subject. Back to my main point: I just want everyone to know that we'll be uncorking and sipping champagne at our house tonight because of this new high literary honor. And I just want to add that I do not take it lightly. I must confide that I'm very tempted now to also join the Dark Literature Reading Group but don't want to spread myself too thin here on GR. I mean, I am a man with a certain stature to uphold but I think that strategicially it may be wiser just to "settle in" at the BDSMRG and then venture on from there. What do you recommend, my brother? I want you to know that I intend to send invitations to you and all our friends as a return of good faith for the many kind references about my prowess and that I'm over 18, and I shall have fingers crossed. Perhaps, with luck you'll get into our little group, too, and gain a better understanding of The Life. I want to wish you all of the luck in the world. I know you can do it, Ian.
Cordially,
Christian Graye


message 7: by Traveller (new) - added it

Traveller David wrote: "Thom -- not sure about the meaning of the British expression "wanking books." British English is so different from American English with all the "lifts" and "lorries" and so on and so forth: I just wish that you Brits would speak the King's English so that we all can understand each other. Anyway, I looked up "wank" in our American Heritage Dictionary and it wasn't there. So do you mean like a computer wank, like Manny? Or can you use it in another sentence for me? Please let me know what you mean by this so I may respond appropriately..."

Wank: verb.
wanking: 1) Activity of grasping penis with hand and moving hand backwards and forward on the shaft of the penis continuously, with or without lubrication, while taking care to stimulate the head of the penis in particular. The activity should be continued until ejaculation is achieved. *

wank:
1) to wank
2) to talk nonsense, to fool around.

*Note: Take special care of stimulating the head.


message 8: by Ted (new)

Ted The Washington Post, in its Health & Science weekly section of 5/22/12, ran a story under the following title:

Sex Therapists See Silver Lining in Wild and Wildly Popular Novel

A couple of quotes:
Literary demerits aside, experts contend that the novel and its ... sequels ... are having a positive impact on women's sexual health and wellness. "Fifty Shades is getting a lot of people thinking and talking more openly about sex, sexuality, desire and interest" ... "There is good data showing that sexual health and wellness leads to overall health and wellness"
Hardly seems like a bad thing, particularly in the most prudish nation on earth. (That would be the U.S.)


message 9: by Traveller (new) - added it

Traveller LOL... David really did join a BDSM group, you know... Anyway, if one just wants to read BDSM erotica, you don't really need to even join a group, you can just Google.


message 10: by Traveller (last edited May 23, 2012 07:55AM) (new) - added it

Traveller Ah, I've found too many synonyms to list. Here are a few: bash the bishop
.choke the chicken
.yank the plank
.clean the pipes
.grapple the gorilla
.toss off
.shake hands with the milkman
having a "down town jeremy brown"
having a "five knuckle shuffle"

Well, I hope I've improved your vocabulary of British colloquial euphemistic verbiage, and may I say that I myself have learned from the experience. XD


message 11: by David (last edited May 23, 2012 08:02AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz David and Ian - if you were Canadian you would be nominated for the Leacock Award...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_...

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message 95: by David

16 minutes ago

Dear Trav,
Thank you for adding such clarity to the written word of the King's English. I am certain that Thom must have meant Definition #2 in which case I can safely respond that, I know, there is alot of talking nonsense and fooling around here on Goodreads. But isn't that what Goodreads and high literary culture like "50SOG" are all about -- good wanking books? I'll have to ask some of my new colleagues in the GRBDSM Group about Definition #1. I can't imagine what these people otherwise are thinking, can you?

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message 96: by Traveller(last edited 2 minutes ago) - added it
11 minutes ago

David wrote:
"Dear Trav,
Thank you for adding such clarity to the written word of the King's English. I am certain that Thom must have meant Definition #2 in which case I can safely respond that, I know, there i..."

Glad to have been of service, David. Yes, I cannot imagine that anybody would want to be doing 1) while reading a book!

..and to keep up with modern slang, keeping an up-to-date copy of the Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define... , is an absolute must...

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message 97: by David
4 minutes ago

Dear Laima,
Thank you for your kind note concerning the Leacock Award in Canada which intrigues me to no end. Is there a special meaning in Canadian English to the term "Leacock"? Does it have inferences to which I should be sensitive and perhaps bring up at my next meeting with the GRBDSM Reading Group? Or is this one for the Dark Literature Group? I think we all understand the meaning of the second syllable. Certainly, Trav does. But the "Lea" aspect fascinates me more than I can really say. Does that first syllable infer some sinister dexterity or indeed imply "Lea" as in the "Leaward Islands" of the Caribbean? Out of the direct path of the wind of a storm or a big blow, as it were? I certainly hope that Paul can be added to the application of my brother Ian and me for this prospectively new Canadian literary honor as it began, after all, on his thread, upon which he has so generously allowed us to intrude. Thank you, Paul: you are a true gentleman and one of the wittiest men whom I have the pleasure to know.


David Lentz Dear Trav,
I just want to add that one can never have too much clarity in matters of the speaking and writing clearly in the English language, whether one speaks English-English, Canadian-English or American-English: it's all the Mother Tongue. And I should also mention, whoever the Mother is who invented this godforsaken language, she could swear like a drunken sailor with the best of them. So God bless the Mother Tongue! And remember it the next time you lift a glass.


message 13: by Traveller (last edited May 23, 2012 08:07AM) (new) - added it

Traveller English, she is a multifaceted lady of loose morals...


message 14: by Jacqueline (new)

Jacqueline Valencia This was such a funny review. May I suggest a book that is so much better than this ridiculous Shades of Grey? Maidenhead by Tamara Faith Berger. This book makes Shades of Grey read like a kids' novel AND it's accurate in its portrayal of a young women discovering her sexuality. One of my favorites of teh year.


message 15: by Jacqueline (new)

Jacqueline Valencia *the* year. :)


David Lentz Dear Jacqueline,
Thank you for your recommendation.
I am intrigued by "50SOG" for its potential in satire as I believe that James has made a Faustian trade.
She published a poorly written novel and will make millions from it.
Our literary culture ultimately is the sum of the books that we publish and reward.
What does that say about us as a civilization?
Cordially,
David


message 17: by David (last edited May 28, 2012 06:17AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz message 109: by Rita - added it
4 hours, 49 min ago

Rita "I'm not sure how the pain figures into all this, but on some sexual level I enjoy being dominated, being controlled by another person. I can't explain it. As a feminist, it goes against everything I believe."
What a load of bull shit -pardon my French- as sexual preferences have anything to do with feminis. Never in a million year will I read this book. Thank you for the review and sparing me the grief and waste of time!

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message 110: by Laima
3 hours, 41 min ago

Laima Paul wrote: "Take this message and stick it in a review and get many votes, David! Don't fritter it away on the likes of us here..."

Well, I must say, I am really enjoying David's frittering. David and Ian are both terrific fritterers. Oh, and Paul, you could turn this thread into a song (no copyright infringement here) "The long and winding thread"

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David Lentz Rita wrote: ""I'm not sure how the pain figures into all this, but on some sexual level I enjoy being dominated, being controlled by another person. I can't explain it. As a feminist, it goes against everything..."

Dear Rita,
May I simply compliment you on your lovely, striking, feminist honesty and advise you that you are the sort of feminist woman that modern men live for. I don't know what it is about us but we millennial men seek intelligent women who challenge us intellectually but who want to be dominated in every way except insofar as they relate to feminism. This becomes a bit of a complicated issue and sticky wicket so to speak and can sometimes become confusing for lesser modern men and post-modern men and even post-post-modern men. There's that word again -- "post." But not to pillory this thread, if I were not already taken, you would be the kind of woman that my brother and I could pursue ardently. Anything you can do to help us unravel this mystic blend of feminism and domination, that we are so intrigued to learn women so passionately desire, would be greatly appreciated as one doesn't want to overstep or be insensitive but ultimately isn't that the point of domination? If I may be so bold, what are the hard and soft limits of contemporary feminists? Surely, you can appreciate the little dilemma of my gender. As we men live and breathe to dominate, don't we? So do you want us to dominate or not? Or does this odd, wildly popular, poorly written, little novel in "50SOG" signify the surrender of the feminist ideal as we heretofore know it to the true, natural, sensual desires of women? If the answer to this last question is yes, then I presume my brother, Ian, may very much like to invite you out for coffee.
Respectfully but not excessively so,
Christian Graye


message 18: by Ruby (last edited May 24, 2012 05:30AM) (new)

Ruby  Tombstone [Uncensored or Else] I'm not sure which is funnier - this review or the fact that somebody used the phrase "spoof erotica" unintentionally.

Somebody really does need to publish the GoodReads version.


message 19: by David (last edited May 28, 2012 06:19AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz My dear brother, Ian, satyrist par excellence,
Just a brief follow-up concerning your personal invitation to the GRBDSMRG. I have sent my recommendation to my new group only to find that new members must be approved by the GRBDSMRG Moderator. It's quite possible that, like a few other members of this group, she is a man-eater. Some of my fellow members of the GRBDSMRG eat grown men whole as light snacks before breakfast. So I suggest that you friend our Moderator and remember to be firm with her. Be forewarned that in your case it's possible that there may be personal questions: height, weight, age, prowess, preferences, tools, boundaries, length and so on. Happy to report that I got through the gamut with flying colors so I would imagine that you may stand a reasonably fair outside chance, as well. This is, by far, the most entertaining and best informed Reading Group on GR.
See you on the dark side, my brother,
Christian Graye


message 20: by Ian (new) - rated it 2 stars

Ian [Paganus de] Graye My dear brother, Christian, satyrist par sexellence,
I have only now detected the work of your foreign correspondents. My apologies that I seemed to have been looking in the wrong box or receptacle. I shall have to change some entries in my orifice manual. I don't appear to have received my personal invitation to the GRBDSMRG. Perhaps the man-eater is deterred by the prospect of another lady-killer from the same family? If there are personal questions re height, weight, age, prowess, preferences, tools, boundaries, length and so on, then I hope you don't mind if I respond "the same as my brother, only smaller". That way, she will have a pleasant surprise coming her way. I was most pleased to see that you have invited MJ Nickerless as well. He is a good place to originate any daisy chain letter.
See you on the inside, my brother,
Ian Graye


message 21: by Ian (last edited May 27, 2012 08:51PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Ian [Paganus de] Graye My dear brother, Christian, these messages also seemed to have gone astray. Please feel free to edit or delete them if you would prefer not to reveal the private parts of our relationship:

message 105: by Ian (last edited May 23, 2012 12:07pm) - rated it 1 star May 23, 2012 11:57am
My most observant brother, Christian
I admire your pursuit of pleasure. Though some might consider it lonely, I prefer to think of it as both single-minded and single-handed, and watching you continues to stimulate and inspire me. It can be no coincidence that you mention Asian predilections and proclivities. I have been eager to learn about their slant on things erotic for some time and am currently reading "A Chinese Odyssey", which might sound homer-erotic, but is actually subtitled "From Wanking to Bonking". I suspect that a true grip on the meaning of this elaborative phrase might require some appreciation of the King's English, because I've not been able to locate either village in my DK Eyewitness Travel Guide. Nor could I find them in my copy of Houllebecq's Michelin Guide, "A Platform from Which to Explore Asian Sex Dives". I must mention that Ana read that title as "Asian Sex Drives" and was momentarily confused. She wasn't sure whether it was a clinical analysis or one of those Travel Guides that requires you to eschew plane travel and travel on $10 a day.
All my brotherly love,
Ian
P.S. Ana's confusion reminded me that, when we were first engaged, I asked her if she thought our love life would be even better if it was more "intense". She said "I didn't marry you to go camping. I'm a four star hotel girl and I want to go all the way in comfort." I've been reluctant to canvas her on that issue ever since. Anyway, it's bed time and I must return to my stick book.


message 106: by David May 23, 2012 12:19pm
Dear keen, observor of human nature and, yea, the human condition, Ian,
Goodnight, Sweet Prince, and perhaps when you awaken all dewey-eyed and bed-headed there shall be a personal invitation awaiting you from the GRBDSM Reading Group.
You may sleep upon it and find deep repose.
For the nightingale sings.
The lark is in his meadow.
God is in His heaven.
All is right with the world.
And tomorrow is another day for book wanking.
Peace, my brother.
I hope you dream about ponies.
Your brother,
Christian Graye


message 107: by Ian (last edited May 23, 2012 01:46pm) - rated it 1 star May 23, 2012 01:42pm
My most lyrical and satyrical brother, Christian
Now that the year’s at the spring, and day’s at the morn, it's just dawned on me that one of your "20 Shades of Tan" must be Browning. But then as Ana (who's so fond of quoting Clarissa) says at the sight of any morning glory, but especially mine, "What a morning! What a lark! What a plunge!" I've got to go. Ana's about to serve me breakfast in bed. I'm so hungry, I can't wait to Woolf it down.
All my brotherly love,
Ian


message 22: by David (last edited May 28, 2012 06:45AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz Dear Friends of the Darker Arts of Sensuality,
I have decided after joining the GRBDSMRG that these are a wonderful group of sincere, lovely and genuine people whose interests should be respected. And so I must report that out of deference to their good faith in admitting me to their intimate little group and to the loyalty that I owe them, I shall not be moving forward in my planned parody of "50SOG" no matter how much money this project could ultimately make nor how worthy this particular novel may be of a good stinging satire. Further, out of my genuine respect for the GRBDSMRG, I have reluctantly agreed to resign my membership and I can only say with appreciation farewell and Godspeed. I leave to my brother, Ian, to decide his own fate as he will. Laters, baby.
Christian Graye


message 23: by Shaun (new)

Shaun Dear David:

Oh how you make me laugh! You have your finger firmly on the pulse and zeitgeist of those of us over 50! Rock on, me hardy!

Your brother in Tucson,
Shaun


message 24: by Jim (new)

Jim Embrace your inner Daddy, David, and spank whichever willing bottoms present themselves to you, LOL!!!

PS. Choose a braided nylon rope for reduced chafing...


David Lentz Dear Jim,
Thank you for your kind note and I would only mention that it is my outer daddy about which I am more concerned. I certainly respect your insight pertaining to specificity of restraint and shall forward it on to my dear old friends at the GRBDSMRG.


Allison I love when men read this book. Bravo sir. It's a cultural phenomenon, why wouldn't anyone want to see what all the hub bub is about? Any thing that turns that many heads deserves a look-see.


David Lentz Mrs. Robinson made me read it.


message 28: by Praj (new) - rated it 2 stars

Praj Damn! Mrs. Robinson!!


message 29: by David (last edited Jul 01, 2012 10:11AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

David Lentz "Ooo-coo-katchoo, Mrs. Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know. Oh-Oh-Oh. Oh-oh-oh..." Still, I hate to say it, but in a twisted though tender evocation, Mrs. R. does so bring to mind that dear old, crack whore mom of "50SOG." And how can anyone not love this handsome billionaire hero all the more for this vulnerability. Do you not love him all the more for it? No wonder he loves as oddly as he must. He can do no other. Indeed, I weep for him. But, even so, he is my kindred spirit, my protege, my Muse. Flog on, good Christian. Flog on. And Godspeed.


Andrea It was finally worth reading 50SOG just to be able to chuckle at this thread.


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