Reading this story, I cannot help but to feel that the story lacks focus. Even at the halfway point, I still can't figure out what the plot is except for this build up of a homosexual love between a number of beautiful people, all of course ambivalently masculine and trodding on a thin line between homosocial and homoerotic.
The development puts heavy emphasis on background. There's all these background information, some in detailed exposition, which explained the background rather patronisingly. Lots of the background bits and bobs feel redundant. The work also lacks originality. It almost feels like the author watched behind the scenes footages of The Lord of the Rings
cast and decided to use that as a template, changing a few names with names from other queer shows and books. The result is what I'd call more of a fanfiction than a proper published work.
It isn't that the work is bad, it is just that it's a good work of fanfiction, not so much a good published work. There should be less indulgence and more originality. Less shiny people and more relatable character. Less background and more substance.