I rarely say this, but after 450 pages of this book, I actually wanted about 100 or 150 more. Jarzab's story had me hooked and her writing was well-paced and engaging but there were a few things that felt like they could have used a little more development to take this from a good book to a great book.

Also, this is one of the most misleading book descriptions I've read in a long time.

Caro has pretended her sister doesn't exist for 12 years. She never mentions Hannah because the one time she did, way back in elementary school, it was to mention that she was dead (she's not) and it got her in huge trouble at home. Caro's sister (view spoiler)[ is actually at a convent because she wants to be a nun. I don't know if this is even a spoiler, but the book's description would lead readers to believe Hannah's gone on some mysterious reason. She's not. We know almost immediately where she is. The mystery is WHY she's chosen that life, but the only reason that's even a mystery is because Caro makes it a much bigger deal than it is. (hide spoiler)] Fast forward to today and Hannah's decided to come home. Caro hasn't seen her in a few years, by choice, but even she can see that Hannah is changed. She's quiet, isolating, and she looks terrible.

But enough about Hannah. There's also the hot transfer student who comes to Caro's school, Pawal, and of course he's interested in her. Usually this is where I get annoyed, but I didn't mind their relationship nor the romance in this story as much as I thought I would. He's a total plot device, since it's the way in which Caro has to reveal the truth about her sister (after an oops moment at dinner with her parents and Pawal). The thing is, he is a NECESSARY part of Caro coming to grips with herself, and the romance itself isn't instantaneous but something that has to be worked toward. It was refreshing.

This is an interesting story about grief, in that it's at once an exploration of Hannah's grief and portrait of her grieving process that is in a way in our face and also really far removed from the reader because of how far removed it is from Caro. It's also a story about Caro's coming to terms with a bit of grief, too, but in a much different way. Maybe one of the more interesting things about the story was how insistent all of the characters were that Caro was selfish and self-involved. As a reader, I sympathized with her pretty hard because I didn't think she was this at all -- she was grieving a lot in her life, too. She was losing the peace she had in being who she was in the family, and she was losing the sense of closure she'd had in having her sister not living with her. Caro was grieving the stability that she'd come to find over the last 12 years. (view spoiler)[ She then has to come to terms with her feelings on faith and God and religion, and while they're not a part of her grieving process per se, these are huge things to contemplate, let alone have to confront head on and so quickly. (hide spoiler)] Caro's flawed, definitely, and she acts impulsively on more than one occasion, but I didn't see it as anything more than DEALING with stuff.

So (view spoiler)[ I found the faith/religious aspect of the story to have been a little under developed, when it could have gone even harder. For all that Caro was hiding in terms of her sister's decision to attend a convent, I thought this was going to be a much bigger deal in the story than it ended up being. But more than that, I felt like because so much of this story was second-hand -- we are getting Hannah's story via Caro, rather than Caro's own story -- there'd be more on the part of Caro confronting this. And she does, but it wasn't as powerful nor as full of impact as I'd hoped. What her sister did in choosing to pack away the grief of being witness to her friend dying so young through following God was huge. It was a huge, huge thing. But instead of delving into that topic more, Caro's story spends more time unraveling the mystery of Hannah's friend's death. So really, the biggest challenge for me was that this book was much more about Hannah than it was about Caro. And I found myself much more interested in Hannah than in Caro, which made me wonder if this story should have been told through Hannah's perspective, rather than Caro's because Caro DOESN'T really have that moment. She ends up discovering her sister and her sister's grief while getting away without much growth in herself. Even at the end, I felt like Caro was still mid-way through her own grieving/acceptance process, and I wanted to see her have a full arc. (hide spoiler)] I thought had those threads been fleshed out more with Caro, even devoting more pages to them, it'd have taken the story up a little more.

The other moment I thought there could have been more was (view spoiler)[ when Caro approaches Sarba's still-living brother at Loyola. Obviously, he's hurting over the loss of his sister, too, but I was surprised that his response would be that he blamed Hannah for his sister's death. We don't get to know the brother nor the way he'd react to anything. Since Hannah's entire plot was about how much she blamed herself for Sarba's death, I had a hard time buying into another character doing the same thing. In the end, he chooses to be in touch with Hannah, but I think he needed more development in the story. He's a late comer in the plot and he plays a huge role in the resolution, both for Caro and for Hannah, and so his response/belief in Hannah's role for Sarba's death was jarring. Especially for a 25-year-old. (hide spoiler)] And (view spoiler)[ I didn't necessarily think the reveal of the death/self-blame Hannah had for Sarba's death warranted his response, either. Hannah'd gone for help, not abandoned Sarba. Hannah's self-blame made sense, but how would Sarba's brother even know that? Because Hannah shut herself off, there was no way he'd know this or blame her for it. There was more back story needed. And I think I'd have been more than happy to read it, even with the length of the book! (hide spoiler)] I do have to say that (view spoiler)[ I am so glad we did NOT see the letter he sent Hannah and that we only got to see the letter sent for Caro and her parents. This helped anchor the story back to Caro, rather than her sister. (hide spoiler)]

Jarzab's book isn't really a mystery. It's a pretty solid contemporary that has an unraveling of big back story. Despite being lengthy, it's a quicker read, and covers plenty of hefty topics and does so well. I'd be comfortable giving this book to younger teens, as well as older ones, as there's little to worry about content wise. There's a LOT to digest in terms of understanding grief and faith, but in a good way. Jarzab does a great job of bringing many of these ideas into tangible elements in the story: MC Esher, science and physics, reading and reading choice (and high five to the nicely played moment with The Bell Jar, too).

(view spoiler)[ I'll be honest in saying this, too: as much as I liked a lot of what this book did, a lot of it also felt convenient. The gap of time, the never questioning Hannah's choice in the mean time, the fact that Caro's parents communicate for beans left and right. But because Jarzab does such a good job with her writing itself, with her character development, and with broaching a number of big topics, I let these things go. I think most readers will, too, because the story itself is bigger than those relatively minor missteps. (hide spoiler)]

Full review here: http://www.stackedbooks.org/2012/10/t...