Ayana's Reviews > Green

Green by Jay Lake
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Jul 28, 12

did not like it
bookshelves: worst-books-ever, ought-to-be-burned
Read in May, 2012

Major spoiler alert!
This is a nasty, gross, disgusting, boring excuse for a novel. I read the first 2/3 of it and had to put it down. This is what happens in this sorry waste of paper!(It doesn't deserve to be called a book.)
The protagonist, who later calls herself Green, is a 4 year old girl sold into slavery by her poor father right after both her mother and grandmother die. She is then taken far from her home to a secluded palace from hell called the pomegranate court where she stays for 8 years completely isolated aside from her horrible teaching mistresses, who train her in the arts of being a high lady through heinous beatings and almost psychopathic mental abuse in hopes that she will be chosen as their immortal duke's consort. Has anyone's Wrong-O-Meter started going off yet? But wait, it gets better! Eventually Federo, the man who brought Green to the pomegranate court, brings a new nice teacher "The Dancing Mistress" who is of a non-human race called the Pardines, which as the author describes them I can only imagine look like freaky tall humanoid chinchillas! Anyway, Freaky Chinchilla Lady basically teaches Green how to be a ninja, but neglects to teach her the responsibilities that come with that skill such as not randomly killing people! When it finally dawns on Green to escape she uses her super ninja high kick to lash out at the head teaching mistress, killing her. The head mistress definitely deserved some form of punishment, but I think the author could have found a better way than having Green murder her. After that she runs out of the palace and hides with Federo and Chinchilla Lady who are actually part of a plot to kill the evil duke, who Chinchilla Lady says stays alive through ill-gotten magics stolen from her people. Federo and Chinchilla Lady were going to use Green as a pawn to get close to the duke and kill him, but Green messed that up when she decided to kill head mistress and run away. So green agrees to kill the duke in exchange for the knowledge of how to get back to her homeland. Green kills the duke and sets of for her home, a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, and finds that her father has gone completely nuts and is married to a new lady who doesn't want Green around. So then Green leaves for the big city and on the way meets a priestess of some goddess who tells Green to come to the temple if she is ever in trouble. Long story short Green finds herself out of work and in trouble so she goes to the temple which is where i stopped because things got way too nasty for me. At this point Green is about 13, and she decides to join the all-female order where they basically kill criminals and are all lesbians and have lesbo sex all the time. in my opinion regardless of Green's sexual orientation, 13 is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to young! That's where I stopped (because it's NASTY!!!!!). DO NOT read this book! If you could rate it negative stars, I would.
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Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

Alicia Clark My thoughts exactly.


message 2: by Kellie (new)

Kellie McCleve Thanks for the heads up! I was 10 pages into it when I read your review. Thanks for saving me time and disappointment.


message 3: by Laura (new)

Laura Wow reminds me of how stupid red queen was. I will avoid this.


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