Stefani's Reviews > Wings

Wings by Aprilynne Pike
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May 29, 12

bookshelves: library
Read from May 24 to 29, 2012, read count: 1

** spoiler alert ** All I can say is this book was weird. I've tried to summon up some more passion for it than that, but I just can't. I was bored from page one to the last page. I honestly just wanted it to end and when it did end I didn't really care. Let me start with the good stuff...don't worry, this will be short!

The take on faeries was unique, I can honestly say I've never heard it before..though that might be a good thing, more on that later. I also really liked Tamani, in the beginning, but again more on that later. Um, I am thinking really hard and I think that's about all for the good stuff. Told you it would be short! Now for the unbearable bad.

This author has never met an adverb she didn't like. I swear that in one paragraph there was 1 or 2 adverbs per sentence at one point. If I heard one more time about someone "fumbling clumsily" or "laughing cautiously" or "driving slowly" I was going to scream. It made the prose bulky and so hard to engage with. I honestly started to skim it just to avoid the stupid adverbs because it stopped the story in its tracks so many times. I don't understand the title either. It's called Wings...but faeries don't have wings, they have flowers...which aren't wings. Um, okay. Maybe the next one, Spells, will really be about BBQ steak! It would make about as much sense.

Laurell is so irritating that I wanted to smack her across the face. Do we really have to hear about what she eats every 2 pages? And her mother treats her bizarre eating like its something she needs to give the girl privacy for and then she feels guilt over it. Um, eating disorder anyone? And I don't care if my child "seemed" healthy, if they were eating a few cans of soda and half a peach during the day they'd be at a doctor and a psychiatrist immediately. Great parenting there! And Laurell is such a huge Mary Sue that I wanted to vomit! Of course, my first tip off should have been the glowing praise on the cover from Stephenie Meyer...not falling for that one again! But anyway back to this Mary Sue. She is pretty, ethereal, smart, an environment conscious vegan, and isn't even really that clumsy either.

David was okay, but what a doormat! He just stands around and waits for Laurell to tell him what to do. Need a ride? Okay. Need backup for a really stupid idea that might get him killed? Okay. Need to be led on only to be told you're just a friend? Okay. Grow a spine man! He's also a huge Mary Sue. Attractive, nerdy genius, loved by every girl who sees him...okay, enough already! Let's get a character with a damned flaw!

Then we have Tamani, like I said I quite liked him at first, until I figured out he was just as much of a doormat as David. And a stalker, serious serious stalker. At one point he actually says that he has been watching her and following her and altering her memories of him seeing her for her entire life so "how could I not have fallen in love with you." Creepy! Someone get a restraining order quickly. But no, Mary Sue Laurell decides that kissing the stalker is the best bet and being torn about her feelings for him even though she hardly knows him.

And I also want to point out something. Faeries are plants? Really? Have you ever read a biology book? Plants don't have a brain, therefore they can't have the higher brain functions of talking, walking, and reasoning are out of the picture. And, if Laurell is a plant and a vegan, wouldn't that make her a cannibal? That's creepy too. Then you have the female faeries who "blossom" once a year and the blossom is there so that a male faerie can put his hand in it and inseminate her with his pollen. That kind of made me want to gag a little. And then when Laurell meets Tamani while she is blossoming, he accidentally leaves pollen on her hand.....ewwwwwwww. I honestly wish I could say that I was joking, but its right there in the book I assure you!

I'm going to move on now because that made me feel a little ill. The ending was so contrived and boring that I didn't really care if they succeeded. Most of the book following boring Laurell on her boring quest for self discovery, then all of a sudden at the end we throw in a few trolls that are trying to kill her father, trolls get defeated and everything is good again! Bo-ring! I think I have more passion for this review than I did for the entire book, and that is saying something.
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05/24/2012 page 24
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Comments (showing 1-5 of 5) (5 new)

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message 1: by Lisa Kay (new)

Lisa Kay Stefani wrote: "And, if Laurell is a plant and a vegan, wouldn't that make her a cannibal? That's creepy too."

First, WONDERFUL review!

Second, LMAO! I'm sorry, Stefani! When I saw you were going to read this one, it took a lot of restraint not to say anything that might cause prejudice. But, I so want to warn you. Really. ☺ Still, reading your review was worth it. I didn't know about the hand. I agree. Ick.

I'm trying to put an adverb in here, but I can't think of one. How about I start over and say, "Your review was wonderfully written."?

Stefani Thankfully this was on my list of "probably crap, but I have to know!" books. It took all my strength not to gracefully throw this book right out the window. I had a lot of fun reviewing it though, so it was worth it.

message 3: by Sashana (new)

Sashana I don't remember much about this books because I read it so long ago but you are absolutely right about the food thing! I felt like I was reading a cook book about fruits and veggies. I didn't pick up on the adverbs thing (good eye!) but like I said I read this eons ago.

Eeekkk! I didn't get to the part about the pollen and I am glad I didn't! Bullet dodged.

Nice review, Stefani! IDK if you mean to be funny but this is the second review that I've read by you and I got the giggles both times. You are starting to be my go to gal for books that I should avoid.

Stefani Lol, I am happy I can oblige Sashana! I am not sure I was being intetionally funny, but I tend to be highly sarcastic when I am annoyed so that can be really giggle worthy.

And just a hint, if you want another "book to avoid" review, I probably have another one coming up with Need. There may or may not be suggestions of slapping characters with some kind of strange object.....

message 5: by Sashana (last edited May 31, 2012 05:36PM) (new)

Sashana Is that the one with all the phobias?

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