Soluus's Reviews > Deadlocked

Deadlocked by Charlaine Harris
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Aug 05, 12

bookshelves: fantasea, mystery-books, books-with-vampires, books-with-werewolves, books-for-teens, books-i-own, 2-stars-poor, didn-t-like, trainwreck-literature
Read from August 02 to 05, 2012 — I own a copy

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Where to start? Deadlocked is a shitty book in a fairly-all right series lead by a slut-shaming cunt. See, the thing is, the key to enjoying a book in some part is having a good narrative. In this case, that means enjoying the main character. Unfortunately our protagonist is so unlikeable you find yourself in a Catch 22 situation. You want to know who the living crap killed Kym Rowe (ah, yes, those trailer trash names) but you hate Sookie so much it's almost unbearable to go on. Really, I think Anna Paquin does Sookie a lot of favours. She makes Sookie more likeable. Sookie makes Sookie a nasty, snotty bitch who damn well knows she shouldn't be making so many judgements about other females like it's her fucking day job.

And I'm sorry for the expletives. I'm really very irritated. If you think the last book, Dead Reckoning, was bad---well, it's got nothing on this.

While this book unquestioningly has the better story (well, I say story but I mean string of events) it's all still irrelevant. Here's a list of all the irrelevant features in this book which had they been cut could've saved quite a few trees: Jason Stackhouse, Jason's girlfriend Michele, Jason and Michele's wedding plans, Hoyt Fortenberry, Hoyt's girlfriend Holly, Hoyt and Holly's wedding plans, Danny Prideaux, Kennedy, Danny and Kennedy's relationship, JB du Rone, JB du Rone's job as a stripper, the Chippendales act at Hooligans, the Hooligans club, Tara, Tara's waters breaking, Tara giving birth, Tara naming one of her children after Sookie, Sookie cooking for Tara and JB, Sookie cooking for Jason, Donald Callaway, Bellenos, Gift, Terry Bellefleur, Terry Bellefleur's girlfriend Jimmie, their frigging Catahoulas. You know what, let's stop there before we have to look to the book for another useless character or event.

I'm not interested in what Sookie does in her daylight hours. I don't care how many times she puts makeup on, what outfit she chooses, how many times she uses the bathroom, whether or not she eats takeout, whether her library books are overdue. I. Do. Not. Care. You wanna know what I cared about? The plot with the Queen of Oklahoma, Felipe de Castro's reaction towards Victor's death, seeing the backs of those stupid fairies, the cluviel dor. All the filler shit was completely unnecessary and honestly? 90% of it was in there to do away with characters that needed to be gotten rid of for the sake of convenience.

And of course, the slut-shaming. The looking down on 95% of female characters for their appearance. She is distasteful towards Kym Rowe. She has the gall to say her parents 'didn't look like much' in the newspaper. She had to mention that Gift, who was nothing but nice to her, wasn't the pretty blonde others saw her as. That Terry Bellefleur's new belle, Jimmie, needed dental work. That Jannalynn was the lowest of the low and hot damn I HATE THAT BITCH!!! (It is too convenient that Jannalynn was therefore written to be a scheming, selfish cow hellbent on ruining Sookie because OF COURSE, the world revolves around Sookie!) She even mentions something about Beth Osiecki, her... will-writer. Is that a title? Then there's the snide side-thoughts about Michele, Kennedy... but it's justified, of course, by the fact she's protecting men against their fearsome women. She liked T-Rex apart from the fact he was an obnoxious dolt. She seemingly forgot everything Bill had done to her. She was pleasant with Quinn. She was civil with Alcide. She was a racist twat towards Muphasa.

Honestly? Sookie's no better than those idiot teen girls, those bookish ones with the special snowflake complex, who think that they deserve a girl's boyfriend because they're virgins and she's not. She must be a HO because she's had sex with him! I'm morally pure! I'm the better choice! Newsflash, honey: You're not. You're an asshole, and so is Sookie Stackhouse.

I don't care about this series anymore. Do not buy this book. Rent it from the library, buy it cheaply at a charity shop or car boot sale. It's pretty damn obvious that Eric's going to stay with Freyda and Sam and Sookie are going to end up together in some shape or form.

Charlaine Harris? I'm disappointed. Boo to you.
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Reading Progress

08/02/2012 page 56
17.0% "I think Sookie gets more bigoted with each and every book."
08/02/2012 page 97
30.0% "'Blade wannabe'? 'Ex-con KeShawn Johnson'? Really, Charlaine?"
08/03/2012 page 178
54.0% "Sookie is a grade-A cunt. No discussion."
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