Bern's Reviews > Why We Broke Up

Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler
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Dec 29, 13

bookshelves: 2012, loved-it-to-bits, perfection, romance, ya, the-feeeelings-are-drowning-me
Recommended for: Anyone with feelings.
Read from May 10 to 29, 2012

I'm going to tell you something, whoever-is-going-read-this-review,

if anybody will be reading this piece of junk that I am writing as I go at all. I'm going to tell you something and you better believe me because if I bothered to tell you this, it's because it has to be true since I'm not one to give advice to strangers. I don't know how personal this might get or how convoluted and confusing the message i'm going to attempt to convey to you will be, but I guess it's what some people say, right? "The important thing is to try"? Never mind that those people are mostly losers, let's forget that for a moment.

Whatever it is that I end up telling you, it's going to start now so if you're in dire need of a potty break, I suggest you do it quickly because there's some serious feeling-dumping about to take place here.

I honestly hated this book. For a while there, for who-knows-how-many-pages, I saw reading this pretentious bundle of heavy and colorful pages as a chore. I did. Thinking back to the time when I honestly wanted this book to bust in spontaneous combustion and who gives a damn about the 20 dollars I spent of my mom's hard earned money on this piece of crap?, I can actually understand where all the hatred and deeply rooted annoyance came from.

Really, it makes sense. I hated this book right off the bat and I did so with reason because it wasn't what i expected. I wasn't really sure of what i expected, but it certainly was not this, all these dormant feelings just waiting around the corner to beat me in the head with a shovel, all these run-on sentences that ended up forming something eerily cohesive, all these words and words and more words and where's-this-damn-story-going?

I hated how the main character's - Min's - train of thought were literal train wrecks, I hated how everything was so pretentious and seemingly unreal, I hated the pages and pages and pages of run-on sentences depicting the most trivial, tedious stuff that had me doubting I could even finish what I'd initially dubbed a piece of utterly arrogant crap. In short, I wanted it gagged, tied up, dragged to the woods and shot dead.

But you see, the freakiest thing is that I didn't. Don't. Hate it, I mean. It's not my favorite book - although it could be, and maybe tomorrow it might, once all the haze that finishing it has got me on is gone. I don't really know what adjectives to attach to this book, because compared to its savvy way with words, nothing that I come up with right now will ever do it justice. What I can say, is that it was a thing of beauty. And that's not an adjective so don't give me that look like I'm pretentiously contradicting myself, because dammit I'm trying to quit that! But i'm veering off the point here:

This book didn't make me cry. It has, it seems, made lots of people cry, but not me. It did shock me, though. It made me tremble, gasp and stare at it agape, like some scared idiot who wasn't in on a surprise party. This book made my heart hurt and I have never - ever - felt or lied about feeling that way while reading any other book. This book crushed my feelings and handed them back to me in a platter, shrugging when I asked what the hell was I supposed to do with them now? This book made me lots of things but the one I liked the most - the one that stayed with me for as long as it could before I started PTSD'ing about it like a traumatized soldier who's seen it all and wishes he never had - was that it made me smile.

As I said, the smile didn't last long - when you're this shocked about something, it's kinda hard to stop your mouth from freezing in a permanent "O". But it was there and it was beautiful and blissful and all those gushy things we see and watch and read about but never really happen to us - to me, at least. It was there and for one brief moment, I didn't want to let this book go. I didn't want to put it back on my shelf - the one it sits in now, still all pretentious-looking and looming over its lesser peers - and have it more than inches away from me. I fought back the overwhelming feeling, obviously, and I did win, kinda-sorta-not-really, but although I am not clutching it with my wishful fingers or staring at its cover like it just whispered dirty and unknown things in my ear, this book is Why I Smiled, an establishing shot of The Idiot Who Made Assumptions That Weren't The Least Bit Right, a whole box filled with insignificant feelings that I now give back to you, person-who-has-probably-not-read-thus-far.

Make what you want of this because I'm done. I am done and I never want to revisit this, not today, not ever, probably tomorrow.

Bernardo
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Reading Progress

05/10/2012 page 75
21.0% "I love the witty dialogue and the romance is unbearably cute but the on-purpose clunky writing and the classic movies obsession is gritting on my nerves"
05/28/2012 page 100
28.0% "Three and a half pages of run on sentences depicting an ordinary day in high school. Someone shoot me."
05/29/2012 page 250
71.0% "Crap. This book is getting to me. I thought I'd hate it for its unstoppable pretentiousness and run on sentences but I'm starting to love it and UGH."

Comments (showing 1-17 of 17) (17 new)

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Jasmine This summary is exactly what I feel. I really couldn't have said it better myself!


Bern Thank you, this really is a book that leaves you dazed and confused


Reynje Love your review. I felt much the same way about this book. I still think about it now, months later.


Bern I love your review of it too! And i understand, sometimes i see it there on the shelf and remember how it made me feel, it's so strange


Maureen Allysandra Min's run on sentences are ACTUALLY what made the feeling so real and you can't just evade it because they're SUPPOSED to hit you. I ♥ your review!


Stephanie Weeks I just finished this book and JUST NOW understood your review. holy bananas, this review is.. spot on. my mind feels so brain fucked yet nothing THAT insane happens plot-wise. but UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH. I can't do this.


Bern Oh god don't even remind me, this book literally hurt my heart. When I found out about The Thing that happens near the end I couldn't tell if I felt superbly betrayed, absurdly shocked, or in desperate want of going on a murder spree. I hope I don't ever read anything like it again, even though I liked it so much.


Bern Oh god don't even remind me, this book literally hurt my heart. When I found out about The Thing that happens near the end I couldn't tell if I felt superbly betrayed, absurdly shocked, or in desperate want of going on a murder spree. I hope I don't ever read anything like it again, even though I liked it so much.


Stephanie Weeks hahaha so true though! It's like the Inception of contemporary YA ugh.


message 10: by Paula (new) - added it

Paula De Macedo I liked your review because is full of emotion. Think I'm gonna read the book :)


message 11: by Jill (new)

Jill Um, could you maybe write a book? Or do you have something published?!? Because this mosy eloquently described all my emotions after just closing the cover. Kthanks.


message 12: by Wesaun (new) - added it

Wesaun Wow. This was an amazing review. I'm totally reading this book! I want to read it mainly because this author wrote The series of unfortunate events also loved that series.


Berna This review is just so amazing! It fits so perfect to the book (and your writing is on point btw). The feelings you went through are exactly the feelings I felt while reading this book. It hasn't been long since I finished it but I can tell that I'm going to be thinking about this book for a period of time.


message 14: by Gabby (new) - rated it 1 star

Gabby preach


message 15: by carinne (new) - added it

carinne I love this review, debating on rather to read this right now or not. I just see big ugly tears in my future. (Yes, super sensitive girl here. Don't know if I'm ready for unrealistic characters to crush my heart yet.


message 16: by Bernadette (new)

Bernadette this review is incredible.


message 17: by Bernadette (new)

Bernadette this review is incredible.


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