emily's review

Twilight (Twilight Series, Book 1)
by Stephenie Meyer

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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41865.Twilight?utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=blog_review" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px"><img alt="Twilight (Twilight Series, Book 1)" border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41aj8QkUoiL._SL160_.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41865.Twilight?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">Twilight</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/941441.Stephenie_Meyer">Stephenie Meyer</a> 
 <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/32490211?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review"><h3>My review</h3></a>
 rating: 1 of 5 stars my students love this crap.
 
 it's like candy corn -- vaguely creepy-stuff themed, goes down easy, and makes you kind of queasy when you're done.
 
 everyone is <a target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue">perfect and gorgeous</a> (though don't worry! bella, the main character, falls down a lot, which totes makes her human and relatable!) the mr. rochester-for-preteens hero, edward, is striking and talented and composes classical music and has a ton of money and is really really in love with her and sparkles in the sunlight(!?) and has color-change eyes. dude, I think he's a my little pony.
 
 and I could put up with this kind of business, because, well, it's for preteens and blah blah blah, but there's one major problem: it makes me want to shoot myself in the head. does stephanie meyer hate women? or does she hate herself? or does she have a terrifyingly appalling relationship? I can't tell. but the main characters have, essentially, four types of interaction:
 1) bella says something, edward responds "you silly girl. just let me do all the thinking around here."
 2) edward hints vaguely at the fact that she should be really, really scared of him.
 3) bella says something, edward responds "you're so beautiful and wonderful and I can't stop thinking about you." (this is the "I didn't mean it baby, I won't hit you anymore" kind of interaction.)
 4) edward says something, bella is thunderstruck by the fact that he's a my little pony and can't respond.
 
 what's the problem? this: bella is so busy fawning that she doesn't have the chance, the time, or the inclination to define herself by anything other than her vampire sweetie. and this bothers the hell out of me. when I ask my students what they want to be when they grow up, and a significant portion of the girls tell me that their life's goal is to marry one (or, oddly, sometimes more) of the jonas brothers. and that's it. no career, no travel, nothing. we are clearly not doing a good job of convincing young girls that they need to start defining themselves by what they can do and what they can be, rather than just by what kind of man might want to look at them. and this kind of crap does not help the situation one bit.
 
 (ps: want to make the book more fun? substitute the word "teeth" whenever stephanie meyer talks about edward's golden, topaz, amber, or onyx eyes. hilarious!)
 <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/104806?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_review">View all my reviews.</a>

emily's review
rating:

recommended for: people who want to piss off buffy summers
status: Read in September, 2008

my students love this crap.

it's like candy corn -- vaguely creepy-stuff themed, goes down easy, and makes you kind of queasy when you're done.

everyone is perfect and gorgeous (though don't worry! bella, the main character, falls down a lot, which totes makes her human and relatable!) the mr. rochester-for-preteens hero, edward, is striking and talented and composes classical music and has a ton of money and is really really in love with her and sparkles in the sunlight(!?) and has color-change eyes. dude, I think he's a my little pony.

and I could put up with this kind of business, because, well, it's for preteens and blah blah blah, but there's one major problem: it makes me want to shoot myself in the head. does stephanie meyer hate women? or does she hate herself? or does she have a terrifyingly appalling relationship? I can't tell. but the main characters have, essentially, four types of interact...more my students love this crap.

it's like candy corn -- vaguely creepy-stuff themed, goes down easy, and makes you kind of queasy when you're done.

everyone is perfect and gorgeous (though don't worry! bella, the main character, falls down a lot, which totes makes her human and relatable!) the mr. rochester-for-preteens hero, edward, is striking and talented and composes classical music and has a ton of money and is really really in love with her and sparkles in the sunlight(!?) and has color-change eyes. dude, I think he's a my little pony.

and I could put up with this kind of business, because, well, it's for preteens and blah blah blah, but there's one major problem: it makes me want to shoot myself in the head. does stephanie meyer hate women? or does she hate herself? or does she have a terrifyingly appalling relationship? I can't tell. but the main characters have, essentially, four types of interaction:
1) bella says something, edward responds "you silly girl. just let me do all the thinking around here."
2) edward hints vaguely at the fact that she should be really, really scared of him.
3) bella says something, edward responds "you're so beautiful and wonderful and I can't stop thinking about you." (this is the "I didn't mean it baby, I won't hit you anymore" kind of interaction.)
4) edward says something, bella is thunderstruck by the fact that he's a my little pony and can't respond.

what's the problem? this: bella is so busy fawning that she doesn't have the chance, the time, or the inclination to define herself by anything other than her vampire sweetie. and this bothers the hell out of me. when I ask my students what they want to be when they grow up, and a significant portion of the girls tell me that their life's goal is to marry one (or, oddly, sometimes more) of the jonas brothers. and that's it. no career, no travel, nothing. we are clearly not doing a good job of convincing young girls that they need to start defining themselves by what they can do and what they can be, rather than just by what kind of man might want to look at them. and this kind of crap does not help the situation one bit.

(ps: want to make the book more fun? substitute the word "teeth" whenever stephanie meyer talks about edward's golden, topaz, amber, or onyx eyes. hilarious!)...less

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