Samantha's Reviews > The Downside of Being Up

The Downside of Being Up by Alan Sitomer
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's review
Apr 23, 2012

did not like it
Read in April, 2012

Unless you are a middle school boy who is obsessed with your penis and its apparently uncontrollable and erratic behavior, then this is not the book for you. The Downside of Being Up (and no, unfortunately I didn't get the title, being a 40-something school librarian sans penis) is about thirteen-year-old Bobby Conner, who is in trouble because of his penis problem. Specifically, he had one of those unfortunate school day erections that he just could not cover. Instead, his whole math class was assaulted by the site of the "Crayola tent" in his pants. His teacher, who supposedly has been a middle school teacher since before dinosaurs roamed the earth, is so shocked that she falls backward and is rendered unconscious. Because of this unfortunate incident, Bobby is charged with "flaunting" his penis at school, which is reason for expulsion. To avoid expulsion, and helping his grandpa clean the lint from his belly button, Bobby agrees to "correctional erectional analysis" otherwise known as seeing the school guidance counselor. Lucky Bobby! The result is Alan Sitomer's novel. In this novel, Bobby chronicles his penile misadventures, which go hand-in-hand (no snickering) with normal middle school life. Bobby is bullied, he falls in love, he screws up everything, he gets at least 18 misguided erections a day, etc., etc. Are there any redeeming qualities? Yes, if you want to learn 120 ways (just an estimate) to refer to the penis or an erection, enjoy reading about grandpas looking at grandma boobs online, are interested in teaching a cockroach to carry a booger, or need to brush up on your bullying techniques. Otherwise, again, unless you are a middle school boy, you can skip this one. Had I only known before spending my $16.99 + 7% tax! Sigh.
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