Wigs's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Oct 13, 12

bookshelves: book-clubs-and-buddy-reads, erotica
Read from April 19 to May 13, 2012

You know, I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star. I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star, and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the more lame books I've read lately two stars instead of one.

Thank you E.L. James, for proving to me there was something worth waiting for. Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terrible.



Now hold up, all you would-be defenders. I read this whole thing. I did not skip anything, I did not skim, I read every word. I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt. You see, I love erotica, and I'm not ashamed to say that I both read (as you see on my 2012 books I've already read two others) and write it myself. So I was thinking to myself, oh, maybe there's a possibility that even though this is a twi-fiction rewrite, and even though everyone makes fun of it, it could still be a fun little guilty-pleasure read that I can laugh along with.

NO.

NO.
NO.
NO.

This book is NOT:

- erotic/sexy
- funny, even ironically
- endearing
- full of sexual taboos

This book IS:

- repetitive
- plotless (well, you knew that)
- painful to get through
- depicting manipulative, controlling, and self-destructive as desirable
- how to not write a novel
- how to gain success by using other people's characters, barely changing them and then laughing all the way to the bank

Most people know about the twilight matchups so I'm not going to go into too much detail, but it was actually quite sickening, how lazy she was to change ANY story details:

Bella Anastasia, a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother, then moved to Forks Vancouver, Washington where her dad stepdad lives, while her mother lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia. She has a younger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her, and whose dad is friends with her dad, because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies, and who gave her his old truck VW beetle.

Edward Christian, who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia, also adopted, who live with their parents Carlisle Carrick (really? CARRICK? We couldn't even change the first three letters?) and Esme Grace. Their father mother is a doctor.

Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story, but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia, since in Twilight they already have a convenient different last name than the other Cullens.

Also, he 'dazzles' her.



I can't even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn't change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different. That was too hard. TOO DAMN HARD. The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it 'different' enough to publish as is. It's quite disgusting.

Alright, continuing on, and once again, I'm sure you've heard this already: this book is terribly written. Most notably the lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type. He ran his hands through his hair. I bit my lip. He told me not to bite my lip. Oh jeez. He grabbed me by the chin to make me look up at him. Holy crap. I peeked up at him. Lather rinse repeat. Over. And over. And over. For 500 pages. Then there's the case of multiple personality disorder, where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head. The subconscious, the one telling her she's not good enough, and the inner goddess, the one that's all into the sex. It's strange because I'm also currently reading a book right now, Deadline, where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is literally insane, and it's written almost the exact same way, he talks back to his voice, who presents herself in italics, just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices. It's funny because she's supposed to be completely normal, and yet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane.

This is sense.

Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24:

“Through the haze of light, I squint and see Christian leaning over me, smiling. Amused. Amused at me. Dressed! In black.”

What are these fragments, four in a row. What is this punctuation. GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED. Is this supposed to be poetry?

Let me add some line breaks for poetic interest:

Through the haze of light, I squint and see ,
Christian leaning over me,
Smiling. Amused.
Amused at me.
Dressed!
In black.



That's almost better.

Let's have another, shall we, from chapter 24 once more:

“I didn't put that song on my iPod,” he says casually, and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway.
What? He knows what he's doing, the bastard. Who did? And I have to listen to Britney going on and on. Who...who?
The song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful. Who? Who? I stare out the window, my stomach churning. Who?



SAY WHO AGAIN, BITCH. JUST TRY IT, I DARE YOU.

Okay and now, maybe even worse than the writing (oh hell, nothing's worse than the writing, nevermind) is the lack of plot. Now once again, you already know this. Do I even need to tell you nothing happens? Seeing as it's based off of a book where nothing happens, you can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed, even less happens.

Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight, where I said, in my page by page commentary below, that 50 Shades was more entertaining. I was at the very beginning. I was young and naïve. I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

You know how The Office kind of got bad after Jim and Pam got together, because there was really nothing you were waiting for after that? This happens by like...chapter 2. You're like...okay....what, now we jut have to watch them whine as a couple for the next zillion pages? Okay.

I can't even fathom that there are two other books written about this couple. I literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this book.

And now for a bit of tiddlybits, I'm going to share some information on storywriting that you guys might find interesting, and will help show exactly why 50 Shades has zero plot.

I went to school for film, and we had story development classes. One thing we were beaten over the head with about is something called the 7 Sentence Story. This will help for any writers that are writing their books to be cinematic or would like their novel to be considered for film purposes (this is by no means a rule, but a really helpful guideline). First, you need a problem, a conflict. A reason to tell a story. Once you have that, your plot should be able to be described in seven sentences thusly:

Exposition: we are introduced to the protagonist and/or main characters
Inciting Incident: something happens that kicks off the conflict, the whole point of the story
Plot Point 1: because of the inciting incident, character sets off to do something/correct the problem, etc
Midpoint: here in film you might see a montage, but it's a place where either plot point 1 is resolved or there is a transition in the characters way of thinking
Plot Point 2: often an even bigger issue arises, or a twist that changes or accelerates the conflict
Climax: final showdown or decisions needed to be made
Resolution.: everything comes to an end, the conflict is settled in one way or another

Basically, if you can tell your story in this way in seven sentences, you'll know that A) the main point is clear, B) that your story doesn't wander too much in different directions, and C) that you actually have a plot to stand on, that you can justify there's enough substance there.

And since that's a lot of vagueness, we'll go with a classic captive/dominant story to show how one tells a story in seven sentences: Disney's Beauty and the Beast. First, the main conflict:

Conflict: The prince has been turned into a beast and has only a limited time left before he is trapped forever as one.

And the seven sentence story:

Exposition: Belle is a smart girl who rejects the advances of Gaston, as she doesn't want to be stuck in a mundane life.
Inciting Incident: Belle's father gets lost and captured by the Beast in his castle.
Plot Point 1: Belle trades her freedom for her father and is prisoner in the castle.
Midpoint: Belle starts to experience feelings for the Beast and is complacent.
Plot Point 2: Belle's father is sick, and the Beast decides to let her go, even though he's giving up his chances of being with her.
Climax: Gaston comes with an angry mob to destroy the Beast.
Resolution: While Beast lays dying, his love for Belle turns him back into a human and he can live with her happily ever after.

Simple, right? Of course, other things happen, but no doubt you can communicate the main story with just these sentences.

Okay, so let's try 50 Shades, which, hilariously, has had its film rights bought already.

Conflict: Anastasia must decide whether to be with a guy who she thinks is super hot but also scares her (This fascinating decision, I tell you what.)

Exposition: Anastasia is a literary student at WSU.
Inciting Incident: Anastasia meets Christian on page 7, and thinks he's hot and mysterious and also frustrating. It is clear they both have chemistry.
Plot Point 1, which is sloppy and all over the place: Christian chases her down, brings her to his house and shows her he's into S&M. Also they have sex.
Sorta Midpoint, but kind of squished close to Plot Point 1: Anastasia must decide whether to pledge herself to him via contract if she wants to continue seeing him.
Plot Point 2: Nah, she's still deciding and whining about how he's kind of scary but continues to have sex with him throughout this whole time. There is no plot point 2.
Climax: Well there isn't really one, it's just kind of an all over the place ending...either the more complicated sex scene at the end with the hymnal music or him hitting with her with the belt the next morning, one of the two I guess...
Resolution: She says he's too weird and ends it.

What a complex, thrilling, and incredible plot full of depth. SHOULD I HAVE CUT THAT FOR SPOILERS? OOPS? Did you even care? If you've gotten this far, nope.

But guess what. We know that there are two other books and they get together and lesson isn't really learned so AWESOME, COOL. I guess that's how she gets people to buy the next ones because hot diggedy I can't wait to see them get back together and whine some more.

And let's talk about the sex for a moment. Nothing forbidden actually happens that you'll be like ohhhh how scandalous I want to try that. For the most part it's pretty much all basic stuff or basic toy play, because basically he's taking it easier on her since she's inexperienced. Except for the belt part at the end, I guess, which just doesn't sound fun.

And you already heard about the tampon, so like, that's not even a surprise (although imo it's not a big deal anyway. Out of all the women having sex on their periods regularly, I can guarantee you there are quite a few men that are tasked with taking the tampon out and throwing it aside. My friend Kim was a big fan of sex-on-period and let me know how carnal and whatever it was, which is fine, who cares.) I was actually more upset about the fact that she is sleeping completely naked in a hotel room bed on day two of her period. As if that isn't going to be a mess in the morning.

Okay lest I go on as long as the book, you get the point. If you want to see more, my commentary while reading it is below. However, a few things:

-I cannot stand how much the author being middle aged shows from the point of view of this 21 year old. “I'm gonna buy plane tickets...on the Internet.” ARE YOU NOW? WHOAOOOAOAOA. Don't get crazy on us, I might be too overwhelmed by this turn of events. “I fired up my email.” BLAZING SPEEDS REQUIRED.

-They actually do the “you hang up” “no you hang up” “no you” that gross couples tend to do. And it was, expectedly, gross.

-Someone on ONTD who liked this book yelled at me because I said that Christian is not a dominant (they also said I wasn't 'experienced enough to understand,' lol okay, like you know who I am, anon.) I still stand by that statement. It's not what he's doing, it's how he's doing it. He is deeply troubled, whiny, and manipulative, and while he does love control, it's for the wrong reasons. He was abused as a child, and sexually abused as a 15 year old and vastly denies it, and because of this he justifies his activities as personal preference when he is in fact a bit too fucked up to currently have a relationship. He ends up making the naïve Anastasia batshit crazy because he continues to string her along, trying to convince her they want the same things, instead of getting himself some help.

-He gives her the illusion that she has the choice to back out, but then turns around and says ha-ha I'm joking but I know where to find you by the way. She goes to visit her mother because she needs a break from him to think, and what does he do? Flies out there, using his roundabout stalker way of finding information about where she's at, like he always does, to meet up, have sex with her and take her out with him. She's supposed to be visiting her mother and having time to think, yet he can't stay away and makes this about HIM, taking her away from time with her mom whom she hasn't seen in 6 months. I can't at this selfish fucking bastard because he just can't stay away.

It makes me mad just thinking about someone that clingy. Which is another thing that pisses me off, almost everything about their whining and relationship conversations reminds me of everything I've hated about past relationships I've had. How does ANYONE enjoy this book? How does anyone think that this is sexy, that this depicts something they want?

I can't even.

I cannot.

(Also I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters. Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl, rage courses through my body.)

I'm bored. Someone get me out of here.

P.S. Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?



Cool.

Please, do yourself a favor and go buy a book of much higher quality plot and writing, ohhhh like....Modelland.
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Reading Progress

04/20/2012 page 49
9.0% "So far it's not as boring as Twilight, entertainment-wise, but the innumerable amount of Twi-matchups she was too lazy to change from the original fanfiction is astounding to me. My brain went into survival mode and I cast Chuck Bass and Blair from Gossip Girl, a couple I ship and love, into the leading roles so I don't have to think about Edward/Bella: " 3 comments
04/21/2012 page 70
14.0% "I literally laughed out loud while I was reading this at the gym today (like I said, more entertaining than Twilight, ha!) And yes the gym, I was on the stationary bike. At least the paperback is small enough that if people aren't looking at you they won't notice. You should have seen me lugging big ol' hardback Modelland to my doctors appointments a few months ago. Oh, the books I choose to read in public..." 6 comments
04/24/2012 page 133
26.0% "Well I find myself agreeing with what others are saying...it's not really so much that he's a dominant as he is a controlling chauvinist. "You must not eat anything but fruit between meals, you must be cleanly shaven everyday, you must regularly go to the salon and get treatments of my choosing"... Fuck you and fuck this shit, I'm eatin' whatever the fuck I want, you just back the fuck down and have a seat." 3 comments
04/26/2012 page 167
32.0% "I'm a tough nut to crack but even I'm raising my hackles at this. Reading through the contract he made is just bothering me so much considering he's rushing her into this shit and she's not even here for that. And with him at the restaurant being like "she'll have a wine" and her being like "um I wanted diet coke" ..."no you'll have the wine" ...Thanks Don Draper lemme just shove this orange sherbet down my throat."
04/26/2012 page 187
36.0% "Okay out of many choices, can I complain about the impossibility of a girl in 2011 graduating all four years of college without ever having possessed an email address, let alone a computer? Um no it's fucking required for most all universities to have student email, certainly WSU. I suppose the author is showing her age here by not realizing that? Lol out of everything I could get cranky about, this tips the boat." 5 comments
04/29/2012 page 230
45.0% "Bored. Clearly she doesn't like what he's doing but she wants to be with him, therein lies the conflict. If she wants a relationship she has to agree to things she doesn't want to do and give up things she wants to have. You should never enter into a relationship with the hope that you can change someone eventually, that is just a terrible decision. Tho I suppose at the end of the trilogy he'll change. Or some shit." 7 comments
04/30/2012 page 269
52.0% "Awkward in context, hilarious out of context: "And...swallowing semen. Well, you get an A in that." I flush, and my inner goddess smacks her lips together, glowing with pride. "So." He looks down at me grinning. "Swallowing semen okay?" I nod, not able to look him in the eye, and drain my cup again. "More?" he asks. "More."" 13 comments
05/01/2012 page 301
59.0% "I TIRE OF YOU BOOK. I COMMAND YOU TO BE MORE INTERESTING. " 3 comments
05/11/2012 page 368
72.0% "Right about now I am HATING myself for being one of those people that can't leave something unfinished once I've gotten this far. Ugh. I can't believe I thought this would even be funny to read. This is just watching two self-destructive people whine and have the same kind of sex over and over."
05/12/2012 page 395
77.0% "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Did she really just say "You dazzle me"? DID YOU REALLY NOT BOTHER TO CHANGE THIS WHEN YOU CHANGED IT FROM YOUR TWI-FICTION??? Of course not lol this wasn't on your search-and-replace list... " 1 comment
05/12/2012 page 442
86.0% 2 comments

Comments (showing 101-150 of 305) (305 new)


message 101: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs Haha wow, thanks!! <3 Tbh though what you should really try for that purpose is Modelland, which I have also reviewed in much detail...that was the best comedy of errors read I've come across.


Taiyesha-Duchess of Indiana i'm in love with your reviews. You keep it 100 :]


message 103: by Mary (new) - rated it 1 star

Mary This was the best review ever for this mess they call a book! LOVED IT.


message 104: by Arielle (new) - rated it 1 star

Arielle Tandowski You just put my every last thought into writing. It was the woooooooooooorst!


message 105: by Ari (new) - rated it 1 star

Ari Wow...

"Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?"

I have no words for that...

I loved your review!


message 106: by Flora (new)

Flora Bateman Absolutely loved your review! I had heard so much about this book I tried to read it, tried being the optimum word here. I managed to drag myself half way and just can't do it anymore. Horrible is putting it mildly. Glad to see others share my view.


message 107: by Mei (new)

Mei Ari wrote: "Wow...

"Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?"

I have no words for that...

I loved your review!"


I doubt the author would say that... I've watched a couple of her interviews and she admitted that the book was really bad and got embarrassed when people pushed for more information....


message 108: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs LIES

http://shelf-life.ew.com/2012/05/10/f...

James considers Fifty Shades a hard act to follow. ”I’ve got several more good ideas but how do you follow this?” she says. “I’ve set the bar quite high in terms of storytelling.”




AUGHUHUGHUGH


message 109: by Brandi (new) - rated it 5 stars

Brandi Senior You are so right!!!! However, I have to admit that I did like the 1st one and will definitely read the last 2. When I first started reading it I didn't know about fanfic or that it was based off of Twilight. I was completely disappointed. Don't forget to add the Ana talks in her sleep and Christian hears everything she says to your list (Twi-FSG).


message 110: by Yuliss (new) - rated it 1 star

Yuliss Wigs wrote: "LIES

http://shelf-life.ew.com/2012/05/10/f...

James considers Fifty Shades a hard act to follow. ”I’ve got several more good ideas but how do you follow this?” s..."


RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!! SO VERY HIGH, YEAH...


message 111: by Kate (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kate You're better than me I skim like I'm running away from a snake and need to jump off the cliff at the end to get away.


message 112: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs haha it's my OCD, i have to know what every word says, otherwise i feel like i didn't read the book.


message 113: by Kate (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kate Wigs wrote: "haha it's my OCD, i have to know what every word says, otherwise i feel like i didn't read the book."
Well congrats seriously I can't do it I'm literally skimming the other two just to see if a plot suddenly appears....no luck so far. I just had to listen to a guy at work tell me it was good and then me going "go read more erotica it's awful hell just go read even children's books have better plots than this."


message 114: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs o-o people talking about this at work lol i srsly cannot anymore.


message 115: by Kate (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kate Wigs wrote: "o-o people talking about this at work lol i srsly cannot anymore."

Haha yeah well I work for a place that produces content that's all over the place so they don't care. Haha I'm just sad that guys read this and love it and then they think this is what women want...ummm yeah sure delusional women. Besides if you go into book 2 it's not even BDSM anymore it's just sad.


message 116: by Ariie (new) - added it

Ariie Chan I think the thing about this that captured my attention the most was... WHAT THE FUCK IT BOUGHT FILM RIGHTS ALREADY?!

...Yeah.


message 117: by Nicci (new) - rated it 1 star

Nicci B All the nursery-workers at my daughter's pre-school are reading it. I nearly dragged my kid out of there.


message 118: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs Oh lord! I hope they weren't reading it AT work while watching the kids, were they???


message 119: by Nicci (new) - rated it 1 star

Nicci B No, but they were talking about it and giggling and I guessed what they were going on about. They are all really young.

The woman in the sandwich shop had a copy of the 2nd or 3rd one behind the counter today

This book makes me irrationally angry, it pisses me off so much, I can't find the fun :/


message 120: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs i guess if we think about the good things it's like....one step further of women's right and freedom to express sexuality? i mean it's not like before people were carrying around porn and reading it in public in such rampant numbers....lol idek

recently a man was jailed in the UK for hitting his girlfriend and throwing sauce in her face for reading this book so that was sad. i'm sure he was like ultra religious or something.

http://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/fif...


message 121: by Nicci (new) - rated it 1 star

Nicci B I dunno, the message of the book seems to be the opposite of healthily expressed sexuality. But what annoys me the most is that it's just so badly written.

I saw about the sauce guy, I don't think he was religious, he was just a jealous prick.


Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) Nicci wrote: "The woman in the sandwich shop had a copy of the 2nd or 3rd one behind the counter today"

I legit would have canceled my order. "Too disgusted to eat now, thanks."


message 123: by Shanna (new)

Shanna Ha! I love your review. I already won't read these books, but this makes me glad I won't. I'm impressed you made it all the way through this one to be honest. Thanks for the honesty with it. I can't even believe some of those sentences you quoted even exist in a book...a published book...it's just too awful. Again, thanks for saving me the time by keeping me from reading this...well...I don't have a name for it.


Dyllan, The Brazuca Ekaterina Dude, you just ruined Chuck and Blair for me. Aww. No more daydreaming about Chuck Bass and limos. Great review, loved the poetry about his super power of being clothed. Lol.


message 125: by Natalie (new) - rated it 1 star

Natalie Longarini "I literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this book." Bahahaha, best sentence I've read in ages! Thank you for my laugh of the day :-)


message 126: by Kara (new) - rated it 1 star

Kara This review is total awesomesauce. I'm with Natalie, that was the best line ever.

She couldn't have said she set the bar high for writing. She just couldn't have.


message 127: by Kathy (new) - rated it 1 star

Kathy Kramer You're much braver than I am for making it through the book. I made it through Chapter 9. My inner goddess started kicking me "down there" and my conscience metaphorically screamed at me to please stop reading this. Even so, I am firmly convinced that it is not possible to have spoilers for this book because it's not possible to spoil something that is already this rotten.


message 128: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs Kathy wrote: " it is not possible to have spoilers for this book because it's not possible to spoil something that is already this rotten"

YES PREACH THIS TRUTH


message 129: by Kasia (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kasia hey, what do you write?


message 130: by Kasia (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kasia or rather - what have you written already? :-)


message 131: by Wigs (last edited Aug 01, 2012 08:30AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs I have written a book and sent in a query and I'm waiting to hear the results :)


message 132: by Kasia (new) - rated it 2 stars

Kasia let us know when it is out to read. Hope it's good :-) Badly need to read something good after this oh my and holly shit piece of crap!


message 133: by Paulii (new) - rated it 1 star

Paulii P.S. Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high? <-- I thought you were joking. Then I looked it up. OMFG! ARROGANT MUCH? Please tell me at least that there is country somewhere that has banned this garbage because if so, I want to live there!


message 134: by Despair (new) - added it

Despair Speaking Pauliii, let me go with you.
And with the comment, "t could still be a fun little guilty-pleasure read that I can laugh along with", it is funny since the reviews made by this book is HEEElarious! I'm sorry but it's true! The pictures and the description of the horror you guys felt... I've half a mind to read this myself just to laugh at it. But I won't. I'll content myself with reading your reviews!


Dyllan, The Brazuca Ekaterina Paulii wrote: "P.S. Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high? <-- I thought you were joking. Then I looked it up. OMFG! ARROGANT MUCH? Please tell me at least that there i..."

Which means, any piece of garbage can be published now. Thanks EL.
Also, sorry you can't live here, my country hasn't banned and is even publishing.


Samantha Anne I bought this book yesterday with the purpose of fitting in; pretty much every single one of my friends found this novel, well, novel, and I just had to know what all the hype was about... I wish I didn't. I'm currently halfway through the book and I can't even comprehend what I'm reading -- "How does he do that?" "I had no idea I could affect him so." "Wow." "Stop biting your lip. It's very distracting." "Holy crap." "Holy shit." "Jeez..." Unwavering repetition. This is horrible writing, just plain horrible. I don't think I've ever read anything more unappealing. There is nothing sexy about this book, nothing amusing, nothing worth spending a day for, let alone your precious $17.95 on. Please, if you haven't already done so, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS BOOK. THERE WILL BE SERIOUS REPERCUSSIONS.

"(Also I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters. Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl, rage courses through my body.)" This was very wrong of me to do. Very wrong. And I thought I was the only one.

Great review, by the way, Wigs. Couldn't have said it better. I only wish I had read this before the purchase.


message 137: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs <3 ah I'm sorry you went through it too...and wow at you imagining chuck and blair too! he was so chuck but it just...was so...i can't.


Samantha Anne Yes, I think that's what really set me off. It's too bad, considering that Gossip Girl's final season's coming soon...


message 139: by Rhian (new) - rated it 1 star

Rhian Lester This review is spot on! I actually bought all three books and struggled through the first one not really knowing why I felt the need to continue with it. I've started the second book and it doesn't get any better and I'm struggling even more to pick it up and carry on reading.
I also never realised just how many similarities there were with Twilight until I read this. It's ridiculous!


message 140: by Michelle (new)

Michelle The one star reviews, especially yours and another one, are far better than this book could possibly ever be.


message 141: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs Hahah thank you <3


message 142: by Ilene (new) - rated it 1 star

Ilene Fey Thank you for this thorough & spot on literary review. It warms my nerdy heart to know that among my immediate planet of women friends that I'm not alone in my contempt for "James's" horrible excuse for writing. That there are many others like you who agree that good writing is the true basis for any good read...not just gratuitous, repetitive (& I'm sorry...laughable...NOT hot) sex scenes w// a hot rich sadomasochist. Now on to some well written erotica!


message 143: by Connie (new) - rated it 1 star

Connie The best review I have read on Fifty Shades of Grey. Thanks for this!


message 144: by Lacey (new)

Lacey English oh my gosh, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks this book is crap! I just said to my husband last night "I don't know how there could possibly be 3 entire books about this, let alone 1."


message 145: by Lim (new) - rated it 1 star

Lim Denise oh, is it really that bad? i'm currently reading this book and am quite enjoying myself with the clumsy girl and masochistic guy , i find this review really amusing and funny, am laughing my ass off :D


message 146: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs it is really. that. bad. bad writing, no actual story points, and repetitive sex. i found absolutely nothing redeemable.


Georgia Goodwin Hahahaha!! I actually like the fifty shades trilogy (bar the first 3/4 of grey) but this made me actually LOL :')


message 148: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs haha yay :) I'm glad that so far the people who have commented who are fans of 50 shades also liked my review which is funny XD I'm really shocked I haven't gotten one angry person yet.


message 149: by Kiki (new) - rated it 1 star

Kiki Daaaance Moms GIF! Yes! That show is awesome. And really scary.


message 150: by Wigs (new) - rated it 1 star

Wigs i felt like middle aged women gifs were appropriate for this particular book, lol. and I love dance moms so much


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