Janine's Reviews > Catch Your Death

Catch Your Death by Louise Voss
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Apr 25, 12

bookshelves: 2012, crime, comedy, mysteries, romance, thrillers
Read from April 19 to 25, 2012

** spoiler alert ** I have read many, many books over the years and I have to say that this one is right up there... As one of the worst.

The premise is actually not a bad one - a bunch of rogue scientists developing terrifying viruses which are capable of wiping out half of the planet's population - but the execution was nothing short of laughable.

The characters were unbelievable, with little or no depth and very little to explain the reasons behind their actions. And the plot is just utterly ridiculous. We are supposed to believe that Kate, who is an intelligent and well respected virologist, would within days of having arrived in England somehow bump into the twin brother of her dead former lover, and then fall in love with him. Leaving her son behind with her sister, she goes off across the country (although with the slightly dubious geography I was never sure where they were) in search of the real reason why the ex died. Of course, the baddies are immediately on her tail. There is a car chase, the murder of an old lady, two (no, three!) kidnappings, stolen guns, a police shoot out, and then... The climax to the entire thing.

Kate's son Jack has been infected with this lethal virus but all is not lost because if they can get hold of an antidote within 15 hours, he can be used, and mankind will be saved. Only trouble is, the antidote is locked in a basement infected with said virus, and Jack has been snatched by his father and spirited away to a two star hotel at Heathrow Airport. Thankfully, Jack (the new lover, who's the twin of the old lover), is a computer hacker, and so he'll be able to work out how to get in through the maximum security door. And they don't need to worry about the virus, because Kate's going to get hold of a biohazard suit. Like you do... Paul doesn't have any trouble at all getting into the computer system, because "They make it easy because so many people forget their password and can't use their own computer any more", and then Jack decides to ring his mum from the hotel, and of course the call is traced within seconds and he is found and injected with the antidote. Phew! Also, it turns out that Stephen isn't dead after all, but he was kept as a slave in the basement where the mad scientists were working on their viruses! Except then he does die, because the virus gets him. Who'd have thunk it?

The epilogue then gives us a hint that first Kate and then one of the agents who was at the viral basement, may be slightly unwell. They both write off their sniffles as colds, but the reader is left hanging - has the virus outwitted them after all???

Although this book was truly dreadful, I'm glad I persevered until the end, because there were many occasions on which it made me laugh out loud. I think some of my Twitter followers also enjoyed my running commentary. I may just have to read the other book by this pair, to see whether it's as amusing. I hope, though, that this other book (Killing Cupid) won't have any rudey bits in it. There weren't many scenes of passion in this one, but the ones that were there, were laughable. My favourite line was the one about Kate being so turned on that her nipples were standing out like light switches. I really wish that people who aren't any good at writing erotica, would just stop trying, honestly.

I don't often give books 0 stars, and I was tempted to give this one 1 simply because of the LOLZ, but I couldn't quite bring myself to do it and so it gets a big, fat zero from me.
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message 1: by Anne (new)

Anne Great review! Your Tweets were just priceless.


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