Kafka wrote that "a book must be an ice axe to break the sea frozen inside us." Cameron Conaway's book fulfills that description with raw to the bone prose -- and some poetry -- about his own development as a man, a good man, a man who considers experience -- every experience whether positive or negative -- as an opportunity for personal growth. From the opening, heart wrenching scene describing abuse, neglect, and actual horror from the perspective of an 8 year old, to the passages near the end, describing a period when, as a teacher of writing, Conaway has a transcendent spiritual experience with a red-tailed falcon, "Caged" is the epitome of one heart reaching out to share with many.

A hard handed, hard drinking, steroid raging father who shares his first name shapes Conaway's youth. He spends his teenage years and his twenties growing out of that shape into one of his own through athletics, notably mma, and through writing, especially poetry. The writing on his mma training and fighting is specific and detail oriented, sprinkled with colorful advice in the form of journal entries. The simple things he notices become enlarged just by the noticing, as when he points out how fights in the octagon often start and end with handshakes (and often with hugs).

The poetry is one of the more fascinating aspects of the book. The early poems arise from the particular time period he's describing in the prose. These poems aren't horrible, but they aren't very good either. Conaway is supposed to be the "warrior poet," though. He's accomplished, with a few chap books under his belt, and a new book about to be published -- and he's working on another. Continue reading and what happens is that the poems get better as the years progress, culminating with a show stopper, "Eva One," near the conclusion. Conaway opens himself up to the reader in such a way that he's willing to show us even this: everyone starts as a white belt. And there's nothing to be ashamed about that.

Throughout the book, Conaway shares thoughts and lessons learned in training, dieting, and fighting. The writing is straightforward, the language concrete and simple, but the connections Conaway makes, relating gym and fighting life to his social life to his love life to his writing life, brings this memoir to the level described by Master Kafka.

Cameron Conaway gives us a brief memoir that shares his becoming a man in the modern world of extremes. At times difficult to read, the book is always poignant and very often gifts the reader with sentences to treasure. I'm looking forward to reading more of what he has to say, about the world he's experiencing, about his perspectives, and about his continuing development as a good man.

"Ultimate vulnerability," he says. "That's manly."