Josh Stern's Reviews > And That’s Why I’m Single

And That’s Why I’m Single by Josh Stern
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Apr 06, 12

(Review from the author)


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Quotes Josh Liked

Josh Stern
“I like two beautiful women on my arm- as human shields"
”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK FROM THE TOILET"
”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady...then stick my foot out”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“To acknowledge the absurdly surreal is the clarity to embrace life as it is, not as we desire it- what you do with this information, hell if I know”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“If you can't beat them, conjoin them”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat performance”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“If life is a bowl of cherries.... do you know how many virgins it took to make that....”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials....I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing....”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“A watched pot never boils.... but it does develop paranoia”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I hate cutting my wrists while shaving”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“All great discoveries are made by opening up the changing room door”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Ever feel like dialing 911 is just simply not enough, and you really need to speak to someone on the Supreme Court...?”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....?”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Everything is a drive-thru. You just have to aim really fast”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I started to enjoy the regal sport of cockfighting... but I'm still having trouble getting the hang of windmilling the bayonet”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“I have a keen sense of the oblivious”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..'

I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over ”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

Josh Stern
“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single


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Sasha Brenner genius


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