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Hades by Alexandra Adornetto
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Jun 30, 12

bookshelves: torture-me, i-m-in-the-mood-to-snark, dumb-ass-heroines, sanctimonious-bitches, anti-feminist
Read from June 28 to 30, 2012


To See full review with pictures, videos, and Colonel Sanders click here: http://yalbookbriefs.blogspot.com/201...

This piece of sanctimonious shit doesn't even deserve a star.

Let's start off by being nice. Because it's always good to be nice right? Unlike Halo. Hades actually had a plot. Sort of. Things actually happen in Hades. Grant it, the plot is still pretty flimsy but it's there.

Okay, now that's the only good thing I have to say about this piece of shit. I have read a lot of awful books in the day, but nothing has offended me quite like Hades (at least as of recently). It not only suffers from awful characterization, pacing, plot holes, poor writing, but it offended me several times personally as well due to the arcane values it preaches.

Let's start talking about the plot. As I said we actually have one here but it is paced horribly. This book could've easily been at least a hundred and fifty pages shorter. Adornetto tends to over describe (even bit characters are described to a T) and when things actually did happen they happened so rapidly I felt like I had whiplash. Plus, did I mention that it seems like all the conflicts in this book are resolved ridiculously easy with little to no struggle. This would be one thing if Adornetto didn't spend three hundred pages telling the audience how impossible it would be for Gabriel and the gang to get Bethie out of hell.

Speaking of Gabriel and the gang, they're insufferable as ever. There was little character development in this installment. Even moments where Adornetto could've easily done some character exploration-with the whole Molly crush on Gabriel scene- she didn't. I thought, hmm, this is a place where maybe Bethany can think about her poor decision making. But nope, Adornetto just uses this place to reconfirm the obvious: that Bethany is a special snowflake.

Let me be frank authors, no one likes reading about a special snowflake. No one. Good characters have flaws. Take some of my favorite characters in YA literature: Mimi Force, Mia Thermopolis, and Maggie Quinn. All these girls are screwed up a little bit. Mimi can be a bitch, Mia can be neurotic, and Maggie can be stubborn as hell. And the rest of the characters of the book note this and you know what....I like these characters a lot better than Bethany. This really was a moment for you to make your character, who isn't very likable despite what you think, seem a little bit more relatable. Maybe if Bethany was a little bit more realtiable I wouldn't be rooting for Big Daddy to roast her.


Yeah, Big Daddy did I mention that's what they call freaking Lucifer. I kid you not. I kept thinking of that character in Cat on the Hot Tin Roof played by Burl Ives until Adornetto described the big bad as looking like Colonel Sanders. I kid you not.

Oh, and how can one forget about the inconsistencies with the plot. Remember how poor wittle Bethie was a vegetarian in the first book...well, she is no longer anymore. She likes ribs because Xavier (excuse me huggie bear) likes them.

Essentially her likes and dislikes are based on his.

Is this a healthy relationship?

No, but we're constantly told indiscreetly by Adornetto that being codependent on each other in a relationship is healthy. Even though Cosmo and other reasonable people would disagree.

Ah, codependency it's what my parents always wanted for me to be dependent on someone else and have no views of my own...not.

But it's twue love you might say?

Look, twue love or not. Even the best relationships require a little separation otherwise you'll end up being a Buddy Bear.

Anyway, individuality is important in a relationship. Having no separation whatsoever can twist a relationship into becoming unhealthy. And it wasn't only that codependency was being celebrated in the book that bothered me, but the fact that the book told us what sort of love was real and what sort of love wasn't real.

To put it simply one of the characters has a unrequited crush on another character in the book. And we are told that, that love that that character feels isn't real.

What sort of bull shit is that?

I get that unrequited love isn't shared between both parties, but that doesn't change ones feelings for the other. Look at Lily and Snape in the Harry Potter series if you need any further example about how powerful unrequited love can be.

It wasn't only the talk about love that bothered me. There were subliminal messages that Adornetto put in her writing that offended me from a religious purpose as well. Specifically, there was a priest in hell performing a demonic ceremony, whose name was Father Benedict, who was put there because he failed to protect the innocent.

We can all see what Adornetto is alluding to. The Catholic sex scandals. And honestly, when I read this part I wanted to hurt someone. I am a Catholic. I usually only go to mass a few times of the year, but I'm still Catholic and this sort of trash offends me. Let me explain, what happened in the church was deplorable and I think it needs to be talked about, but to be discussed in a YA book like this? No, just no. Furthermore, was it really necessary of Adornetto to name the priest Benedict when the pope's name is Benedict as well. Really? What did she think she was accomplishing with that other than offending a large group of people. The situation with the scandals itself is a complicated one that I really thought was handled quite tastelessly here being scuffed over in a couple of paragraphs. Maybe I am overreacting, but I think such delicate issues should be handled with care.

This also goes into probably my biggest beef with the book how women and sex are handled which I'll talk about briefly here. Not only are the views that Bethany preaches arcane and limited, a lot of them are backwards. I will be disgusting my feelings about this more in the worst feature part of the review.

Look, I get that Ms. Adornetto is young, but it's really no excuse. She is a published author. Not a self published author who doesn't have resources available to her to help with the editing process of this book. But an author with an actual publishing house who is backing her who can supply her with editors to help refine her work. This book really should've been written better. It really shouldn't have been published. I have read fan fictions that read better than this book. That are not offensive as this book. I feel like even if this book went through a couple more drafts it could've been slightly more tolerable. But no, it's clear that her publisher only has one thing in mind....money.

Best Feature: Are you fucking kidding me? There was no redeemable feature about this book. I didn't even care for the cover as much I cared for it's predecessor. I mean, look at that girl's neck on the motorcycle. It looks ridiculously thin. And the wings that looked so beautiful on the Halo cover look very costume shop like here. So yeah, nothing, nothing was good about this book I didn't like one aspect at all about it.

Worst Feature: What about everything...Okay, if I was going to pinpoint what my biggest pet peeve is with this book is the twisted values it preaches. I don't like preachy books in the first place. But it's one thing when the values are actually something you can sort of agree with. In Hades though, I wanted to slap Bethany silly many times for the things she talked about. Let's talk about how women are treated in general in this book. Bethany is almost raped in the book until the calvary comes and rescues her. Xavier is about to throw a temper tantrum too until Gabriel explains that Bethie was being duped by Jake....

Um...I don't have words. The point is a character was almost raped. This should have been handled more delicately and there should've been some psychological side effects attached as well. Like trust issues. But nope, five pages down the road. Bethie decides to be Xavier's teenage bride.


It's not only sexual assault or attempted sexual assault that is handled so tastelessly in this book. It is the nature of sex itself. People have sex for numerous reasons. I didn't like being told by Bethie it's purpose was purely to have children. And yeah, sex can result in pregnancy. But conceiving children isn't the only purpose of sex, as the contraception industry would tell you. I also just loved how sex was referred to by Beth and Jake. Let me just tell you how much I hate the term "make love" by a demon who is preparing to rape his kidnap victim.

No. Rape isn't making love. Rape is rape. It is a violation of ones body. It is usually act of power by some asshole-in this case Jake- who has decided to violate ones personal space in the worse of ways by having coitus. Equating it to making love is atrocious.

It's not just sex and rape that are handled deplorably as well. Morals are also handled horribly. Many of the people who are in hell shouldn't be in hell. They're not evil people. They made mistakes. If Adornetto truly done her research on Christianity she would know that there is a place called purgatory. Where people who have committed sin, but aren't totally sadistically evil go before they're allowed in heaven. Having people who are in hell from merely sinning from omission is the biggest load of bull shit I ever heard. Christ is suppose to be a merciful figure, I don't think he would send children who have sinned a bit but aren't evil to the likes of serial killers and murders to hell just because they failed to report something to the authorities or whatever. Is Though Shall Report/ or Though Shall not be Indirectly Responsible a commandment let alone a mortal sin, I think not.

Appropriateness: Once again, this is a book that tries to present itself as being squeaky clean but I wouldn't let my preteen near it with an eighteen foot pole. The values it preaches are awful. Despite Bethany's stanch to not drinking and cuss, there is drinking and cussing in the book. As I stated before there's lots of sex talk in this book and I don't like the way the author approaches it.


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Reading Progress

06/28/2012 page 3
1.0% "Already, three pages in and I want to punch both Bethie and Xaiver. Seriously, Xaiver you think pumping iron is going to stop a supernatural entity from snapping your pathetic neck. Please....."
06/28/2012 page 5
1.0% "Holy Batman, did perfect Xaiver just curse?"
06/28/2012 page 6
1.0% "And Bethie thinks it's perfectly okay to be codependent. Okay, this is going to be one very long read indeed. Am I sure I want to do this to myself?"
06/28/2012 page 7
2.0% "Yes, Ivy. I agree Bethie is swoony and silly."
06/28/2012 page 10
2.0% "Are you kidding me Co-Dependent is a chapter title...oh, God. I think it's time to already to take a break. And it's been what ten minutes?"
06/28/2012 page 12
3.0% "1868 wasn't several years after the Civl War, it was only three years after the war ended. And the South was still feeling side effects of being on the losing side pretty heavily at that point."
06/28/2012 page 16
4.0% "N,o Mr. Collins failed marriages probably aren't even relative to why he can't stand your codependent relationship with Xavier, Bethie. He probably just doesn't want to see you on 16 and Pregnant: Angel Edition next year."
06/28/2012 page 19
4.0% "Ribs for dinner, Bethie. What was with that whole chapter in Halo again about how you're a vegetarian. Were the editors even trying when they edited this?"
06/28/2012 page 22
5.0% "Xavier you should be so glad that you're a fictional character. Otherwise I'd beat your ass for you bastardization of the Texas accent."
06/28/2012 page 28
7.0% "WTF, Huggie Bear. Excuse me, I think I'm going to be sick." 4 comments
06/28/2012 page 42
10.0% "Ah, yes, Taylah, now I remember her. She was the dead girl from the last book who only made appearance for about ten pages before she croaked."
06/28/2012 page 45
11.0% "No, no don't bastardize Edgar Allan Poe. I beg of you Adornetto....obviously my begging wasn't enough. I need a drink."
06/28/2012 page 48
11.0% "Ah, Highway to Hell these chapter titles are just so precious. Honestly, I wonder if these books will become cult classics for their sheer stupidity."
06/28/2012 page 52
12.0% "Using adverbs in dialogue tags. How quaint, I haven't seen someone use so many adverbs since I read My Immortal."
06/28/2012 page 55
13.0% "Was he drunk that's what you ask when you find out your BF is in an accident? Really. Not is he okay, is he alive, did you call for help. Anyway, it's so obvious what' s really going on here...."
06/28/2012 page 57
13.0% "If Mr. Woods is a surgeon, his name should be Dr. Woods. I don't know about surgeons in Australia where Ally's from, but here in the US (where the book is set) you have to be a doctor to cut someone open. And honestly I'm assuming it's the same in Australia and rather this was a product of poor editing."
06/28/2012 page 59
14.0% "And of course Huggie Bear is okay, we can all tell what's about to happen. Oh, Bethie you shouldn't have conducted an 'evil' seance." 2 comments
06/28/2012 page 61
14.0% "Oh, and here's the stereotypical he looks like a Calvin Klein model description. You know, sometimes using cliche descriptions can be beneficial when used in jest. However, this is not jest just sap."
06/28/2012 page 61
14.0% "And the use of all caps....how very fanfiction worthy of you, Alexandra."
06/28/2012 page 112
26.0% "Asia, you don't understand Bethie isn't dressed as a Mary Sue she is one."
06/29/2012 page 138
33.0% "Xavier is in disbelief that Jake to Bethany to hell? Really. Because where else did you think he was going to take her, Aruba?"
06/29/2012 page 152
36.0% "No, just no. I do not want to hear you bastardization of the concentration camps in WW2 Adornetto. Please editors, I beg upon you to have mercy on me....." 2 comments
06/29/2012 page 154
36.0% "Okay, Bethany, you really think a human boy is going to rescue you from hell? When you, as an angel, can't even defend yourself. Do you see the fallacy in this logic?" 5 comments
06/29/2012 page 155
37.0% "Furthermore, Bethany, I think there's a difference between the humanity of Xavier and Christ. Despite your stupid analogy, Christ was the son of God, Xavier he's just the son of a surgeon. I don't think Huggie Bear has divine power no matter how you try to argue all this crap."
06/29/2012 page 159
38.0% "Penn State a known party school? Really? Really? When I think of Penn State I think of one of the highest rated public universities in the US."
06/29/2012 page 160
38.0% "How do I know I'm reading a book in the Halo trilogy, when Xavier's hair is described as being walnut colored."
06/29/2012 page 165
39.0% "Oh, I just love how it's immediately assumed that Jake wants sex from Bethie. Is this suppose to be some weird ass retelling of the Persephone myth?"
06/29/2012 page 168
40.0% "Jake, I really wish she'd already succumb to you too. I haven't even reached the half way point of this book yet and I just want Bethany to go away."
06/29/2012 page 173
41.0% "Real smart, Gabriel. Tell Bethie's big mouth friend that she's been kidnapped...I'm sure she won't like call the police or tell the whole town or whatever."
06/29/2012 page 182
43.0% "Not the archangel, Michael, too. Didn't you ruin Gabriel enough, Adornetto....Please, couldn't you leave well enough alone. Just leave Bethie in hell and everyone, save for Xavier, could live happily ever after."
06/29/2012 page 182
43.0% ""A voice that called into mind a hundred church choirs singing in perfect unison." Oh, Andornetto did you graduate from the Stephenie Meyer/Cassandra Claire school of description?"
06/29/2012 page 192
45.0% "Why don't you just tell the entire world that you're angels, Gabriel. Seriously, there needs to be some consequences to telling humans the truth. It's like book physics or something."
06/29/2012 page 194
46.0% "Random thought: you know Molly and Xavier might not be that bad together. They argue all the time, but you know what I prefer that to the sappy love fest we get between him and Bethie."
06/29/2012 page 199
47.0% "I'm sure there's a way to get Bethie out of hell, it's called divine intervention. But maybe the big guy wants her down there, Gabriel. Did that thought ever occur to you? After all, Bethie has done some pretty selfish things that could very well be interpreted as a fall from grace."
06/29/2012 page 200
47.0% "Controlling your raging testosterone....um, I don't think people normally say such things especially the arch angel Gabriel."
06/29/2012 page 210
50.0% "Being proud that you're a good liar. Yeah, that's really good angel behavior...."
06/29/2012 page 224
53.0% "This book is really sick. Just sick. A character, the murdered albeit shallow teenage girl in Halo, is sent to hell just because they didn't have enough good deeds in their lives. Seriously? Oh, Adornetto and sanctimonious views...I need a punching bag and fast."
06/29/2012 page 238
56.0% "Okay, I stand to be corrected so shallow girl is in hell by the sin of omission-she failed to report a hit and run that she did not commit. Still it could be worse. She could be a serial killer or something. But whatever. This book is doing bad things for my blood pressure."
06/29/2012 page 238
56.0% "Okay, I stand to be corrected so shallow girl is in hell by the sin of omission-she failed to report a hit and run that she did not commit. Still it could be worse. She could be a serial killer or something. But whatever. This book is doing bad things for my blood pressure."
06/29/2012 page 239
56.0% "Yes, Asia please find a way to get rid of Bethany for us all. I would be so grateful."
06/29/2012 page 248
58.0% "And that's enough of this nonsense, at least for today. Sigh..."
06/29/2012 page 250
59.0% "I had coffee and am bored, so I am continuing today. Ugh, and now a priest went to hell because apparently he failed to protect the innocent. Do we really have to allude to the crap that happened in the Catholic church in a YA book of all things? And furthermore, did you have to call him Father Benedict (i.e. the pope's name is Benedict). Could you be a little more obvious in your slam on the church?"
06/29/2012 page 252
59.0% "Furthermore, I find it odd that even if the priest is hell he'd be performing ceremonies for a demon."
06/29/2012 page 253
60.0% "Oh, and children are in hell too. Nice, Adornetto. Really nice. Have the kids with all the sick freaks and lunatics. This is fucked up."
06/29/2012 page 258
61.0% "Bethany=Liability. You think?"
06/29/2012 page 258
61.0% "OOOH, Adornetto used the word bitch. You better watch it Adornetto or you might end up in hell for using dirty language..rolls eyes."
06/29/2012 page 262
62.0% "And Lucifer=Colonel Sanders of KFC fame. I've read it all..."
06/29/2012 page 265
63.0% "Yes, Bethany, of course there's going to be a war between heaven and hell you dumb ass. Why else do you think you were sent on your little mission (that you've forgotten completely about because of Huggy Buggy) in the first place."
06/29/2012 page 272
64.0% "Oh, yes please do burn Bethie. I'll light the match...unfortunately, I know better. That that isn't going to happen because there's a third book in this God awful trilogy."
06/29/2012 page 283
67.0% "Don't come up with anything, Jake. Let her die. It's what the reader wants. And isn't the reader always right?"
06/29/2012 page 283288
100.0% "I honestly can't tell if Ally is a foolish ill informed young woman or if she is some sort of sadist in disguise. This book really disturbs me on so many levels and I don't think it's suppose to be disturbing."
06/29/2012 page 282
67.0% "Wow, 203288 pages. Sorry for the typo, folks."
06/29/2012 page 289
68.0% "God damn it, why did we have to have divine intervention here. I thought the demons were going to succeed in getting rid of Bethie."
06/29/2012 page 295
70.0% "Once again, there is more chemistry between Huggle Wuggles and Molly than there is between him and Beth."
06/30/2012 page 307
72.0% "Really, is that hard to figure out the nunnery is possessed. Wait a minute, what happened to sacred ground. Plot holes..." 2 comments
06/30/2012 page 314
74.0% "Is it necessary to describe how every single character, even those who have mere bit roles, look? If you cut out these useless descriptions the book would be about a hundred pages shorter."
06/30/2012 page 322
76.0% "I just hate how the fights between good and evil are handled in this book. The good guys basically win without doing as much as lifting a finger. It's ridiculous. And honestly, I wish Ivy or Gabriel would talk about cutting their losses with Bethie. They're really not losing much."
06/30/2012 page 325
77.0% "I'll give Ally this she's consistent when it comes to Xavier's walnut colored hair. I honestly think she likes torturing her audience by using such description."
06/30/2012 page 326
77.0% "Oh that's rich. So Xavier already has a reserved seat in heaven. I guess he can go ape shit now and still be in the lord's good graces."
06/30/2012 page 329
78.0% "Don't worry when you die and if no one wants your soul it's tossed to limbo like garbage. Seriously, and this book is written for young audiences. Really?"
06/30/2012 page 336
79.0% "Oh, stop being such a hypocrite Bethie. Stop admonishing Molly for her crush on Gabriel because it's forbidden and won't work out. When you essentially did the same damn thing with huggie buggy."
06/30/2012 page 339
80.0% "Oh, so of course Bethie is an exception when it comes to angels having love lifes because why else wouldn't she be. I mean, after all she is a Mary Sue and all."
06/30/2012 page 340
80.0% "So love has to be reciprocated for it be real. Really? Really? I get in order to have a relationship love has to be reciprocated, but someone can still hold deep feelings for another without those feelings being returned. Happens all the stinking time, Gabriel and Adornetto."
06/30/2012 page 342
81.0% "That's really nice, Bethie. Describe your friend who is heart broken as a spoiled child. You really are a piece of work."
06/30/2012 page 342
81.0% "That's really nice, Bethie. Describe your friend who is heart broken as a spoiled child. You really are a piece of work."
06/30/2012 page 348
82.0% "Your wings are the one thing that defines your existence, yet you haven't used them once during this stinking book. Don't you think it would've been easier to try to escape via flight than running?"
06/30/2012 page 351
83.0% "Ha, Jake wants to put Bethie on a leash. You know, Jake you might be on to something...."
06/30/2012 page 360
85.0% "The dumb ass can't even keep her trap shut when it's obvious that Jake is taunting her just to get information out of her. Dear lord...I don't think I've hated a MC this much since I read...well, Halo."
06/30/2012 page 372
88.0% "How many pages of stupidity do I have left?"
06/30/2012 page 372
88.0% "Honey brown hair? I thought it was walnut colored. Did Xavier pick up a box of Clairol or something? This is probably the most interesting development of the entire book."
06/30/2012 page 375
88.0% "Indifferent to whether he lives or dies, is Xavier suicidal?"
06/30/2012 page 386
91.0% "Why does Jake want to sleep with Bethie so much? Seriously. Why? I know that rape is about power...but this is Adornetto we're talking about. Instead, Jake is probably is wuv with Bethie because she's this perfect, beautiful, magical being."
06/30/2012 page 386
91.0% "Oh and it's not sex it's making love. No, Jake. The proper term is coitus or sexual intercourse if you want to get technical about it."
06/30/2012 page 387
91.0% "Having sex is as bad as selling your soul, who knew? Guess the majority of the population is going to hell now. Thanks, Bethie."
06/30/2012 page 387
91.0% "Oh, and the purpose of sex is to create life. Not pleasure. Really, well tell that to the contraception industry, Beth."
06/30/2012 page 389
92.0% "And Bethie is willing to give up her virtue in what...the span of two pages."
06/30/2012 page 391
92.0% "Virginal white gown. For such a "clean" book the sexual references/imagery have been pretty rampant."
06/30/2012 page 392
92.0% "Tuck=the Hagrid of the book. Note, I really, really, hate it when authors try to use dialect in books unless they know what they're doing. JK Rowling knew what she was doing, Adornetto did not."
06/30/2012 page 394
93.0% "Oh, look at that a deus ex machina has made an appearance thanks to Michael the archangel. Can we get any more cliched?"
06/30/2012 page 395
93.0% "Bethany's no puppet, Ivy? Are you reading the same book I am?"
06/30/2012 page 406
96.0% "Oh yes, human boys can easily beat the shit out of demons. I think it's time for a Cosmo."
06/30/2012 page 408
96.0% "So, Xavier was going to get mad at Bethie for being essentially blackmailed into having sex until Gabriel steps in and says that Xavier shouldn't blame her. WTF!!!!! Make that two cosmos or maybe a cosmo and a mojito."
06/30/2012 page 419
99.0% "Ah a marriage proposal at high school graduation...how very Twilight. I bet in Heaven Bethie gets knocked up with a Nephilim spawn and Xavier ask Jake to have demon puppies with her..."
06/30/2012 page 424
100.0% "And that ends a little unexpectedly.....needless to say "if" I read Heaven I will only be reading it for free. I don't plan on supporting Adornetto's writing career one bit."

Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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message 1: by Wendy Darling (new)

Wendy Darling Really great review, YAL. Please tell me you're not reading the third if there's going to be one!


Howdy YAL Thanks! Unless I can get it for free I'm not going to. Though I am admitedly morbidly curious to see how everything is going to get wrapped up.


Brooke You are wonderful.


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