Cassandra Gillig's Reviews > A Beautiful Marsupial Afternoon: New (Soma)tics

A Beautiful Marsupial Afternoon by CA Conrad
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Apr 08, 12

Read from April 01 to 07, 2012

"notes on '(Soma)tic 5' by CACONRAD"; my notebook, 27 Mar. 2012:

"CACONRAD said to go outside during heavy rainfall and make 'storm bread,' so i took a piece of the loaf sitting on our counter and went out into the rain. there is a fountain on the patio near where i was sitting. my parents used to be 'wealthy'; they live in a half-a-million dollar house in the Chicago suburbs but cannot afford to pay for life essentials. my dad declared bankruptcy when i was 15 and has not received a paycheck since.

i held up the bread feeling vulnerable in both the rain and potential gaze of neighbors. i looked at it and thought about the ways in which i am and am not inherently privileged. i looked at it and felt guilty for ruining something my mother had purchased in the rain. i looked at it and thought about my gluten-intolerance and near death and certain death. i kept thinking about myself, guiltily ignoring the ways in which this should have made my life feel LIMITLESS. the whole cycle, not just elements, THE WHOLE CYCLE. mortality is kind of the kindling for BIG change.

i ate the bread and spent the rest of the day in a nauseated catatonia--BIG THINGS, big things."
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