Turquoise's Reviews > The Marriage Bargain

The Marriage Bargain by Jennifer Probst
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This book is filled with unintentional laughs. Seriously. This book is hilarious, and it is not a compliment.

Let's not mention that the plot is a cliche, everything is predicted, the way the characters behave are too perfect to be true in their own way, not one character is ugly, the dialogues practically tell you the worst thing to expect in a relationship.

No sex equals no jealousy. No overly emotional woman equals no love.

No messiness equals a perfect marriage.


"Someone who spends all your money and nags you every night and bitches about cleaning up your mess."

There's more.

He'd been crazy to wait this long. He should have known sex was the fastest way to ensure a relationship settled.

Not finished yet.

And what if the Yankees went to the World Series this year? She'd have to deal with his lousy arrogance and patronizing smiles. Oh God...

AND whenever there is a crisis, at least one of them will suddenly appear to be naked.

"Make you? Make you?" His fingers twisted around a wad of silky, satiny fabric as he fought for a shred of control. When the haze finally cleared his vision, Nick blinked and looked down.

Then realized his wife was naked. Her lime-green robe had slid down over her shoulders and now gaped open. Her sash slipped unnoticed to the floor. He expected to catch a glimpse of some lacy negligee to made to incite a man's lust. He got much more.

Jesus, she was perfect.

Sometimes Alexa, the lead girl, could not make a stranger conclusion on people.

Gabriella spoke in a clipped manner. "Fine. I'll leave. I needed to see for myself who he chose over me." Her expression informed Alexa she didn't understand Nick's decision. "I'll be out of town for a bit. I committed to help in Haiti with some of the rebuilding."

Oh. My. God. She was a humanitarian. The woman looked perfect, had money, and actually helped people. Alexa's heart sank.

With a woman as condescending and bitchy and fake as Gabriella, Alexa would actually think that she was a perfect angel? Have you ever heard of any supermodel literally helping Haiti with some of the rebuilding. Yes, I have heard of a few cases of them helping Haiti. But really being there to rebuild? Never.

Alexa would also be turned on by everything Nick did. Even in cases like this, he was still sexy as hell.

He wore an apron tonight over his faded jeans and T-shirt, Instead of softening his masculinity, the plain black apron emphasized lean hips, a broad chest, and a magnificent butt. His grace and ease in such a domestic environment made her breath hitch just a bit.

So that is why french maid costumes were made to put on guys. Oh wait, they were not. It's an apron. Calm down.

... Drowning in the taste of Scotch and male heat. He parted her legs and tortured her with...

What is a male heat?

...her second shock of the night when he smiled down at her-- a dangerous, masculine smile that promised unspoken pleasures...

What is a masculine smile?

Nick kept his hand locked on Alexa's and led her over to the coatroom, determined not to let her out of his sight. In a few hours, she'd be in the only place where she couldn't get in any trouble. And it wasn't over any rainbow.

It was in his bed.

No shit, Sherlock. I am not as dumb as you think. No need to be so blunt.

Son of a bitch.

He was in love with his wife.

Yep, falling in love with his wife was definitely the most horrifying, the worst thing the world could offer. Oh the humanity.

The Marriage Bargain is so funny it is like Breaking Dawn, Part 1. It is full of, and I quote from a few critics, "unintentional laughs that make this funny and not boring." True, I was never bored when reading this since this was quite short and unthinkably bad dialogue could jump out everywhere. I could not give this one star this is so hilarious. 1.5 stars out of 5.
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Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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Leslie finally! I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way about this book. So many 5 STAR reviews! You're so right about the ~unintentional hilariousness~! There are so many "LOL WUT?" notes on my nook. =]

Turquoise Leslie wrote: "finally! I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way about this book. So many 5 STAR reviews! You're so right about the ~unintentional hilariousness~! There are so many "LOL WUT?"..."

I know what you are talking about!! The rating is too high and the only reason for any one to give it a five star should be because of the sexy cover...

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