Richard Derus's Reviews > Clouded Rainbow

Clouded Rainbow by Jonathan Sturak
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's review
Mar 27, 2012

did not like it
Read in March, 2012

I made it 11% into this Kindleing belch-inducing indigestibility before bulimia set in and I had to stop.

Really a shame, too, because I like the idea of a man and wife whose car accident gives them simultaneous amnesia and whose rescuers, being separated by time and distance (his damaged body remains in the car, hers is thrown free and reasonably unharmed), don't connect the two in their minds, leading to a search for each other with no idea of why they're separated.

In better edited hands, this would have been a fun thriller. As it was, adverbitis, adjectivitous hypertrophy, and severe, severe wrong-worditis coalesced to make this reader into a deleter.
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Comments (showing 1-13 of 13) (13 new)

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Shovelmonkey1 Quitter!

Richard Derus Yes! And PROUD of it! I will not, at 52, read things that are poorly crafted. Too many good ones await the less-than-half of my reading life that remains.

Had the man paid an editor to smooth this bumpy prose out, I suspect the book would have been quite involving and even touching. I like the cover. I like the title. I don't like the over-the-top descriptions of things that don't need describing, and the wrong-word-itis is SEVERE.

But he ain't payin' me, and I ain't volunteering, so into the "delete" pile it goes.

Shovelmonkey1 You make an eloquent argument sir. I felt obliged to continue my read or I would have been unable to provide what I regard as an adequate and even handed review.

Richard Derus I really hope you've posted your review on the Amazon page for the book. It's a very cogent and well-presented critique, not a nasty, mean-spirited criticism. I think, to be completely frank, that you spent FAR more talent and time on the book than it merited.

My snarky dismissal won't be shared with the Amazon public because there is simply no need to insult people's work where they're trying to sell it. Caveat emptor and all that.

Shovelmonkey1 Nope, all of my reviews are marked "for goodreads only". No one outside of goodreads ever gets to see them.

message 6: by ~Geektastic~ (new)

 ~Geektastic~ When, oh when will medical science finally find the cure for adjectivitis? I'd walk a 10k for that charity.

message 7: by Shovelmonkey1 (last edited Mar 27, 2012 11:07AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Shovelmonkey1 Adjectivitis can be cured by a relatively simple shallow incision to remove the thesaurus antonym/synonym function from any writers computer. This thesaurectomy is quite painless and has been successful on a number of occasions much to the delight of all involved. Adjectivitis can also be cured by repeated, liberal doses of editing.

Richard Derus >6,7 AMEN sister women, A-MEN!!

message 9: by Noran (new)

Noran Miss Pumkin She is ejected through a windshield,and over a bridge railing unharmed?!?! My ER nurse senses are saying not so!

Richard Derus No, no, not *un*harmed, merely less badly damaged than the trapped husband! They're both wounded. Believe me, this is the least of the issues that confront the reader.

message 11: by Noran (new)

Noran Miss Pumkin I could have not read past the accident

message 12: by Nataliya (new)

Nataliya "adverbitis, adjectivitous hypertrophy, and severe, severe wrong-worditis"

Love it!

Richard Derus Noran, certainly this isn't a book for just *any*one to breeze takes a masochistic streak like Monkey's.

Thanks, Nataliya! Feel free to use any or all of them.

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