false 1885 0679783261 9780679783268 176315 9372 http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1158963071m/1885.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1885.Pride_and_Prejudice 1265 Jane Austen 412436 27845 Hmm! 4 2009-07-02T00:15:04-07:00 964613 2009-07-03T15:23:05-07:00 2009-07-02T00:15:04-07:00 Hmm. 0 2009-07-01T16:47:11-07:00 963049 2009-07-01T16:47:11-07:00 2 11 false Sat Jul 04 20:48:09 -0700 2009 Thu Aug 14 02:56:13 -0700 2008 Sat Jul 04 20:48:09 -0700 2009 Pride and Prejudice: a Memoir (Volume One)

Characters:
Choupette: a greasy-haired, pockmarked, vampire-toothed adolescent
V.V. de Poi: Choupette's crazy-ass friend
Mariam: another friend (plays viola)
Suzy: scary weird person under the desk.
Miss Harris: despisèd English teacher.

Setting:
In the school library. It is a sunny winter day in term three of 2002, and students in Miss Harris's homegroup are settling into their first year at their new school: the starched creases in their below-knee pinafores are starting to wear out, and they have stopped wearing their sports hats at recess. The students are selecting books.

Scénario:
Deeply contemptuous of Miss Harris and perfectly secure in the knowledge of her own genius, Choupette makes no attempt to disguise her boredom and dislike for English, a subject which has never shown itself to be useful for anything. Despite her deep-seated knowledge of her own superiority, her pride cannot help being pricked when she fails to be selected for the extension reading group. Struggling with a mixture of jealousy and pain as V. V. de Poi and Mariam emerge with their brand-new, matching class-set copies of Jane Eyre, Choupette knows she must do something. Luckily, it is the fortnightly library lesson and Miss Harris is interviewing each student briefly about the book they have chosen to read.

"What is a book that you like?" Choupette asks V. V. and Mariam.

"Pride and Prejudice" they chorus in reply.

Duly, Choupette goes to the A shelf and takes down a copy of Pride and Prejudice. As she waits for her interview, she reads assiduously, showing herself to be sophisticated and intelligent and more than worthy of joining the extension reading group and being given her own pristine copy of Jane Eyre. To her dismay, Pride and Prej is duller than anything she has ever read and Miss Harris appears completely unmoved. When it is Choupette's turn to have an interview Miss Harris simply asks if she has ever read any of Austen's other works. Honest to a fault, Choupette replies in the negative, soliciting instead Miss Harris's unasked-for opinion that "they're all pretty much the same thing."

Somewhat disappointed that her efforts have not resulted in an offer of a coveted place in the extension reading group, Choupette is nevertheless undeterred: she resolves to read this fucking book no matter what the cost so she can prove (if only to herself) that she has been misunderstood, undervalued, discriminated against, wrongfully accused, &c, and furthermore that Miss Harris is a bitch.

Optimistically, she places Pride and Prejudice on the pile of books she is to take to music, a subject that is even more boring and badly-taught than English. That day her class is shared by another class whose teacher is away. They crowd on the floor between the desks and the token piano. Choupette takes out the book and begins to read surreptitiously under the desk. It is boring, almost soporific, and she is continually distracted by the loud whooshing sound going on over her head. At that moment, she is interrupted by a member of the other class, whose name is Suzy. She is sitting right up close to Choupette's desk, practically underneath it, and her round, cheerily grinning face is turned up towards Choupette.

"I've read that. It's really good." says Suzy.

Choupette replies in unfriendly monosyllables. She is not enjoying being told by so many people that this sleep-inducing book actually has merit. The whooshing sound intensifies.

Choupette does eventually finish Pride and Prejudice, but she does not enjoy the experience, because it is boring, boring, boring! Who wants to read about people whose whole lives revolve around finding a husband, and who go on at such great length about nothing? The following year she manages to worm her way into the extension reading group by proving that she does not in fact need remedial spelling. It is shit.

Fast forward to 2009 and Choupette is embarking on her second reading of the infamous Pride and Prejudice. V. V. de Poi appears to have disappeared off the face of the planet and Mariam has gone to study in Adelaide, but Choupette and Suzy have been firm friends since 2003, during which time Suzy has rarely paused in her attempts to convert Choupette to the work of Miss Austen. Choupette still nurses a lingering resentment towards Miss Harris.]]>