Turtles All the Way Down's Reviews > Halo

Halo by Alexandra Adornetto
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Mar 23, 12

bookshelves: offensive, feeling-lust-makes-you-dirty, shirt-sniffing-romance, sparkly-mary-sue, sucky-angels, preachy, obnoxious, should-have-been-fire-wood
Recommended to Turtles All the Way Down by: Someone who is cruel
Recommended for: There's no one earth I dislike enough to recommend this book to
Read in March, 2012, read count: Once

This book isn’t worth wasting a full review on. The other brilliant reviewers of Good Reads have already covered a everything that is wrong with the books, and I feel like I would just be repeating what they have already said in ways far better than I could say them. So, instead of wasting time on a full review I’m going to make a list of all the places in the world that need angels more than the upper middle class sunny suburb of Venus Cove:

1. Somalia: Somalia is in terrible shape. There is no government, or at least no affective one. Since the Somali Civil War in 1991 the country has been in complete chaos. The travel wiki makes it very clear that if you go there, there’s a good chance you’ll get killed. The average life expectancy is about 51. The good news is their informal economy has been effected by the recession and manage to grow some, that makes up for the female circumcisions, death, lack of education disease, and chaos. Clear these people don’t need angels as much as the folks of Venus Cove, who have been terribly affected by this tragic recession hitting America.

2. Darfur: Humanitarian emergency? Ethnic cleansing of non-arabs? Genocide? Internally displaced peoples living in tents made of sticks and rags? Between 170,000 to 450,000 civilians dead and more than 2 million displaced from their homes and living in refugee camps? Fuck that noise. Clearly the well off kids living in one of the richest countries on earth need angels more than the mentally and emotionally scarred children who saw their families murdered for not being Arab enough.

3. Sudan: Slaves don’t need angels. Children being gang raped and families being sold to different owners don’t need angels. The free people living in Venus Cove need angels to inspire faith in them.

4. Burma: Sex slaves, human trafficking, forced labour, child labour, and a military that supports the use of rape and sexual violence as a means of control? Sounds peachy to me. Can’t see why they would possibly need angels. sounds like paradise to me. Though, I’m sure the christians there would appreciate being able to practice their religion without the threat of death rape, torture, or something else horrible happening to them. Just a thought.

5. North Korea: Death camps, starvation, complete isolation from the rest of the sane world, brutal control and human rights violations, not to mention the whole nuclear weapons thing and the already tense situation in that are. On the plus side DPRK, or rather the DMZ in between South Korea and the DPRK is home to a flurry of endangered species that are thriving there thanks to almost no human interference. Filling the place with bombs, mines, and threats of death has really done a lot to keep the poachers out.

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It’s adorable enough to make up for human rights violations and death camps.

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Red-crown cranes are lovely too.

An actual slum: Poor people need love too Bethany, maybe you should be kind enough to spread a little bit of that faith and love to them? I’m sure they would love to spend time in your unnecessarily huge house with all its wonderful accommodations. Especially since some of these places are just sheds in trash heaps that the people dig through to find food or things they can use or sell.

The bad part of fucking Venus Cove Seriously. You could at least fucking do this book. It can’t be more than a twenty minute drive. Every town has a bad part, even Venus Cove. Bethany should really be focusing less on teenaged girls’ hymens and more on the people who really could use an angel in their life.


***Please note that I know there are more places that need Angels, even the richest people in the world need angels. I just think that if god really wants to clean up the world he could send the angels somewhere they could help a lot of people with really major problems, instead of sending them to a fucking prom***
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