You're just about ready to sit down and enjoy dinner when a telemarketer calls to interrupt; you pick up and tell them to go to hell. Well, guess what? She’s already there.

Meet Madison, the extremely intelligent, but also naive, thirteen-year-old daughter of two Hollywood film stars, who dies over her holiday break of what she believes is a marijuana overdose. While her parents are off at some awards show, she’s being chauffeured past the Dandruff Desert, past the Great Ocean of Wasted Sperm, and straight to her cell in Hell. Ironically enough, it's in Hell where Maddie, who never seemed to fit in any circle at her Swiss boarding school, becomes a part of some post-life “Breakfast Club.” Hysterically written, Palahniuk tells us of the journey that Madison and her friends go on to find out why they’ve been eternally damned to this twisted inferno—where THE ENGLISH PATIENT is played on repeat, where Hitler tries to rule the underworld, where one uses popcorn balls as currency, and where you earn your stay as a telemarketer.