Vanessa's Reviews > Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!

Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also R... by Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-And...
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Apr 26, 12


I've never done this before but I'm going to give this five stars despite never having read nor purchased this for a few obvious reasons.

1.) The cover is freaking awesome. Why pay good money to some liberal elite photographer or graphic artist to design a cover when you have an Olan Mills studio right in your hometown?

2.) The title needs a spoiler warning.

3.) The author hearts exclamation marks but hates apostrophe's!!

4.) May or may not be written ENTIRELY IN CAPS.

5.) I'm not sure but since the title specifies "Christian Marriages", I am assuming this was written for the overlooked Christian polyamory market.

6.) The clown car joke will get old never.

7.) As we know from the recent media brouhaha, girls who want to use birth control are also dirty, dirty sloots.

8.) This book will set you back motherfucking $150.00.

(Please tell me this thing isn't for real. I mean, even if it is, please tell me it's a joke.)
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Comments (showing 1-31 of 31) (31 new)

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message 1: by Shanna (new) - added it

Shanna It's a joke, really it is.


message 2: by Jen (new) - added it

Jen You can get it on Google e-books for $3. :)


Vanessa I see the Kindle version is $3 too. She must transcribe the physical version by hand with HOLY SPRIT help.

Wow, I have spent way too much time looking at this.


message 4: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Kel I think I love you.


Vanessa Haha! Thank you sweetie!


message 6: by Shanna (last edited Apr 03, 2012 08:31PM) (new) - added it

Shanna Ok I bought the kindle version I couldn't help it I had to know...
The entire thing, excepting some copy/pasted scripture, is in caps, little or inappropriate grammar, and poor spelling...


Vanessa You are the second person now to tell me you bought this. Maybe she'll be moved to write a sequel.


Vanessa It seems like it should be a joke but I think it's possibly legit. Take a gander at the Google Preview.


message 9: by Jim (new)

Jim I think it's a joke, but only in the same sense as Rush Limbaugh.

Awesome review! Possibly my favorite in all of CREATION. :)


message 10: by Jim (new)

Jim OH SORRY MOONBUTTERFLY!! I BEND DOWN ON HUMBLED KNEE AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS!!>>? I NEED HOLY SPIRIT HELP.?..!


Vanessa I believe the people contributing customer images on Amazon are the ones truly doing the Lord's work:

Raptor Jesus


message 12: by Jim (new)

Jim Those images are incredible!! Truly a proof of divine intervention.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

I hope the whole thing is written in caps. That would be very, very funny.


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Shanna wrote: " The entire thing, excepting some copy/pasted scripture, is in caps
Holy hell, seriously? THAT, right there, is very very tempting...


message 15: by Shanna (new) - added it

Shanna Lyn wrote: "Shanna wrote: " The entire thing, excepting some copy/pasted scripture, is in caps
Holy hell, seriously? THAT, right there, is very very tempting..."


Capitals and some author specific punctuation. The whole thing reads like a street preacher rant. Hilarious.


message 16: by Christina (new) - added it

Christina Wilder Jim wrote: "OH SORRY MOONBUTTERFLY!! I BEND DOWN ON HUMBLED KNEE AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS!!>>? I NEED HOLY SPIRIT HELP.?..!"

Okay this made me laugh so hard that I scared my cat.


message 17: by Christina (new) - added it

Christina Wilder Vanessa wrote: "I believe the people contributing customer images on Amazon are the ones truly doing the Lord's work:

Raptor Jesus"


First of all, that lawnmower picture is beyond.

Second, SQUEE! because Raptor Jesus is my Twitter picture.


message 18: by Jim (new)

Jim Christina wrote: "Jim wrote: "OH SORRY MOONBUTTERFLY!! I BEND DOWN ON HUMBLED KNEE AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS!!>>? I NEED HOLY SPIRIT HELP.?..!"

Okay this made me laugh so hard that I scared my cat."


Poor kitty.:)


message 19: by Christina (new) - added it

Christina Wilder My turn! My turn!

THE POPE IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND WE MUST OBEY HIM ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SHOW SUPERNATURAL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!!!!1111!!???#$%$#(bible verse)2$@!!


message 20: by Jim (new)

Jim Christina wrote: "First of all, that lawnmower picture is beyond.

Second, SQUEE! because Raptor Jesus is my Twitter picture..."


I knew you had excellent taste!

Christina wrote: "My turn! My turn!

THE POPE IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND WE MUST OBEY HIM ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SHOW SUPERNATURAL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!!!!1111!!???#$%$#(bible verse)2$@!!"


Hey, you are a gifted author in your own right! Just visit your local Olan Mills studio for a cover shot, and you are on your way!


Vanessa RAPTOR JESUS IS THE MOST SPIRITEST!

Also, carry on my wayward son. I love Supernatural even if they are now at the point where they are recycling demon stories past.


message 22: by Christina (new) - added it

Christina Wilder Vanessa wrote: "RAPTOR JESUS IS THE MOST SPIRITEST!

Also, carry on my wayward son. I love Supernatural even if they are now at the point where they are recycling demon stories past."


This latest season is meh so far, but I have high hopes.


Vanessa I'm just hoping they didn't really kill Castiel because I've discovered that morally conflicted angels in trench coats are strangely appealing.


message 24: by Christina (new) - added it

Christina Wilder Vanessa wrote: "I'm just hoping they didn't really kill Castiel because I've discovered that morally conflicted angels in trench coats are strangely appealing."

(view spoiler)


Danielle Book Mafia Enforcer I don't know HOW the hell I came across this book just now but your review made it sooooooo worth it lmao


message 26: by Camille (new)

Camille Hilarious!


Kelly H. (Maybedog) Your review had me laughing so hard my eyes were leaking.


Kelly H. (Maybedog) Too bad I only have $55 left in my budget this month. I guess I can't afford to be enlightened...


message 29: by Joey (new)

Joey Dhaumya When the little write up went into maximum CAPS LOCK OVERDRIVE!!! holy shit I literally burst out laughing


Emma Deplores Goodreads Censorship From the author's Facebook:

"YES** IF YOU HEAR MY SPIRITUAL VOICE ?? > IT IS BECAUSE GOD HAS ANOINTED ME > READ Isaiah61 **IF YOU> LOVE MY HOLYSPIRIT APOSTLE SPIRITUAL ANOINTED CHRISTIAN GODDESS VOICE > YOU WILL LOVE MY ANOINTED BOOK FROM GOD ALSO. >MY ANOINTED BOOK IS A GIFT FROM GOD TO THE WORLD >TO HELP YOU RECIEVE THE GIFT OF JESUS TEACHINGS IN John3;16 and TO HELP YOU OVER COME ALL SINS.>TELL YOUR PASTORS TO > REPENT* and RESTORE.."


[redacted by S.H.I.E.L.D.] Holy. Shit.

Almost worth the 150 dollars just to show friends.


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