Lafcadio's Reviews > The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney
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's review
Mar 12, 12

bookshelves: released, psyche
Read in March, 2012

This book started out OK, but the more I read, the more I felt insulted.

Laney goes out of her way to make sure you know that being an introvert is not the same thing as being shy or having social anxiety. Then in nearly every list of suggestions for dealing with other people, she includes "breathe." I'm not hyperventilating or holding my breath every time someone talks to me; I'm just an introvert.

She also goes on and on about introverts being slow thinkers and slow processors and slow workers. That's not really what it's about. Introverts will make sure they have valid arguments to back up their statements all organized in their heads before they voice their statements out loud. It's not that they haven't thought of anything to say yet, it's that they haven't decided if it's worth saying it out loud even if you ask them point blank about their thoughts.

If you blurt out the first sentence that comes to mind while I'm still organizing my entire essay in my head, and then you call me a slow thinker, I will punch you in the face repeatedly, in my mind. I don't think slower; I think MORE. And then I speak less.

And yes, I do not like to be interrupted while I'm working on a project, but it's not going to take me half a day to get back on track. And no, deadlines don't freak me out. Don't tell me to breathe again.

The sections about how to be normal at a party and how to date were insulting as well. If being an introvert is not the same thing as having a social phobia, then I can handle myself at a party or on a date just fine, thankyouverymuch. I'll never be the life of the party, or even the life of the conversation, but I'm an introvert, so I don't want to be, no matter how many lessons in small talk you give me.

"Hi, I'm Marti. How do you know the host? Hi, I love the music they're playing. Do you know the name of the piece? Hi, I'm Marti; Jim is my boss. Isn't this a beautiful home? Isn't the food delicious? I love this backyard."

Gag me. It's not that I don't know how to ask the world's most boring questions to start a conversation. It's that the conversation that would ensue from that point forward would have me napping in no time.
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Comments (showing 1-7 of 7) (7 new)

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Matthew Russell thank you! I'm also an introvert and had this exact same reaction to the book. I was terribly disappointed.

message 2: by Greg (new)

Greg Flaherty Haha yes

Nikki N I rated it higher than one star, but frequently felt the same way reading it.

Steve Llamb Perfectly stated.

Kelly Joseph Exactly!

message 6: by Letty (new)

Letty Thank you for your review, I've decided to skip this one.

message 7: by Letty (new)

Letty Thank you for your review, I've decided to skip this one.

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