Elaina's Reviews > Across The Hall

Across The Hall by N.M. Facile
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Mar 15, 12

bookshelves: not-so-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly
Read from March 14 to 15, 2012

** spoiler alert ** I wanted to like this. The premise was interesting, but I found the delivery a bit lacking. I think perhaps this should have been a first draft and really worked on with regards to trimming down the excess details that made the story drag, better dialogue, more developed characters, etc.

Quinn was actually the only character I really liked, though the reasons for him leaving Sylvia were a bit preposterous. But that aside, he was like-able. The 4 side characters were merely reflections of the Twilight characters they were based on. And I won't touch on Jason since he was barely in it. I know this started as fan fiction, but after deciding to publish this story as a stand alone piece of fiction, perhaps they could have been given original personalities. They were more the comic or tension relief for me and nowhere near as charming or developed as their counterparts.

And Sylvia, well I just couldn't really bring myself to like her much. She was a weak minded character and all I got from her was that after all that heartbreak she was just horny all the time and liked to be treated roughly. At least she was strong enough to recognize the danger in Beau and break things off with him. Again I was left wanting a little there. I was waiting for more excitement, but there was just too much mundane description that left me skimming ahead. There were a few really touching moments between Sylvia and Quinn and a few steamy love scenes, but after a while they just became repetitive and unimaginative. The sex scene between Sylvia and Beau left me a little queasy, which was good, because I think and hope that that was the intention.
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