Minli's Reviews > MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend

MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
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Mar 03, 12

bookshelves: non-fiction, adult
Read in January, 2012

(3.5 stars) Making friends is hard when you're a kid, but it's so much harder as an adult. School gives you the structure of seeing the same people again and again each day, which sucks if you don't like most of them. But structure and regularity allows friendships to blossom, and maybe even find that BFF.

I moved around a lot when I was younger. When I think of the close friends I've made in grade school or high school (others would say college too, but since that wasn't my personal experience, I leave that out), if I met them as an adult, I don't think we would necessarily be friends. We're so much choosier with our company the older we get--we look for reasons not to hang out with people, we put our family and older friends first, and we have to really feel a genuine connection before taking time out of our busy adult lives to pursue a friendship.

Rachel Bertsche understands this. She moved to Chicago after marrying her husband, and despite having BFFs in other cities--friends you could call up on Sunday morning and say, "Let's get brunch in half an hour!", friends who will watch that reality show finale with you despite the fact that it's SO BAD and you're embarrassed to admit you even like it--she has none in Chicago. Like Bertsche, I believe that good things don't simply happen to people who are passive. So Rachel makes a pact with herself: 52 weeks in a year, 52 friend dates. She'll try a variety of strategies--set-ups by current friends, online friend dating sites, improv classes, picking girls up for friend dates in coffee shops or grocery stories. This book recounts her year-long adventure, and she comes out the end of it with great new friends and some perspective, even if those friends aren't "BFFs".

The author's voice is casual, friendly and fun to read, and shines the most when she's recounting and reflecting on the individual dates, and explaining why it did or didn't work. She writes about follow-up dates and growing as a person. The book is just as much about Bertsche changing her criteria/expectations for friendship as it is about the strategies for making new friends. What was incredibly annoying was the pop sociology she tried to insert here and there, which lacked authority and sense.

Still, this is a great book on adult female friendship and it definitely inspired me to be more pro-active in friend-making, half of which is just making plans and going through with them!
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