Stephen Bird's Reviews > Catastrophically Consequential

Catastrophically Consequential by Stephen C. Bird
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's review
Mar 30, 2012

(Review from the author)
really liked it

500 Word Synopsis:

Chapter 1: The Blonde Boy, the Brunette Boy, the Other Boy and the Father of the Brunette Boy find themselves in a dangerous situation wherein none of them can be trusted with each other's lives. Chapter 2: Lord Szczmawg oversees the "Toxification" of the Gulf of Mecks-Sicko. A post-apocalyptic Gothra Schvulkopf surveys the damage she has done--via the destruction of her competitors. Pluto von Polyphemus and Poseidon Advenszczur fer sher fight over Garic, a Cumbrian slave, in the Orphic Underworld. Chapter 3: The Gooderz, the Badderz and the Evilangelists speak three different kinds of Dumbspeak, for which they despise each other. Chapter 4: In Tallulah Hassle, Florider, Core-Ann Burnin Laidie reminisces over a Doucheyland vacation, Turrie Dzjhonezies and Brownerz. Chapter 5: Dar-Not-Lean struggles with her compulsion with Unconditional Blundt Cake Love, provided by her parents, Float and Ethereal. Ethereal becomes a decisive force in the destiny of Dar-Not-Lean's nemesis, Mannequin Streetwalker. Chapter 6: Across town from Dar-Not-Lean, Incestuous Ingrydd enjoys the benefits of her severely dysfunctional male relatives. Chapter 7: Djzheemi Sparks writes angry, erotic gay poetry; dreams of his New York City and Berlin Future Worlds, and falls under the influence of his Sacred Yet Bestial Tormentors. Chapter 8: Bobby Bluetooth, one of the world's pre-eminent hack comics, reigns over the audience of Djzheemi's Comedy Sh*thole, Gay Ridge, Queers, New York. Female hecklers from both extremes of the political spectrum try to tear him down with their hostile outbursts, but Bobby shuts them up by means of his mediocre wit. Performance artist Szczell Szczocked Szczerry Szczareeya takes the stage in a black burka and attempts to defuse the tension between the West and the Middle East. Core Ann Burnin Laidie protests Szczerry Szczareeya's act. Szczareeya is dragged from the stage by security, and the emcee enacts damage control via the evening's final act, low-class bisexual hustler Tommy Fantasie. Chapter 9: Cindy Cipro defies her mother, antidepressants, the Park Avenue Pearls and Blue Blazer Type Bitches, her dreams, her OCD-anger, her abusive lovers and her generalized fear of men and of sex in the comfort of her East Village condominium. At a New Year’s Eve party, Cindy makes a fateful decision from which there is no return. Chapter 10: Princess Orca Media lives in a medieval castle and is tormented by nighttime voices from the future. Fortunately she will be set for life thanks to the advantages of her arranged marriage with Engelbert Alles Nicht Egal. Chapter 11: Girl from Future uses Backward Time Teleportation to advise and confound Princess Orca Media. Chapter 12: Genevieve Piss Pig encounters Princess Orca Media and regales her with tales of tragic Djzheemi Sparks; Genevieve then proceeds to enjoy the decadence of Klub Nicht-So-Geil’s Chamber of Urinals and its Ledermänner. Chapter 12: Allison Eckslacks Wellness endures the agony and the ecstasy of existence in the guise of different sexes, circumstances and lives. Chapter 13: A group of small town friends bemoan the fate of Ginger Bocey.

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