Aestas Book Blog's Reviews > Forbidden

Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma
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Aug 16, 2012

it was amazing
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“How could something so wrong feel so right?”

This book reduced me to a inconsolable, uncontrollably sobbing, shaking, and wailing WRECK!! My heart is utterly SHATTERED !!!!!! Why? Why?? WHY????

I have no idea how to write anything that describes the depths to which my heart ACHES! Its like a physical pain. The ending of this book was “heart-shattering”. Pure, gut-wrenching, PAIN.

It takes the concept of a “forbidden love” to a whole new level. It does not have a HEA and the ending is guaranteed rip your heart to shreds.

The story is raw, emotional to an extreme, powerful, achingly painful, beautiful, and devastatingly tragic.

I was beyond apprehensive about this story because, yes, this is a love story between a brother and sister (*cringe/gulp*, right?). It is only for the most open minded and non-judgmental readers. But I absolutely PROMISE you, after reading their story, you will be wishing they could have a happy ending.

With a self-centered, uncaring, and alcohlic mother and a father who abandoned their family years ago, siblings Lochan (17) and Maya (16) have always felt more like friends than siblings – being the defacto parents to their 3 younger siblings – 13-year-old Kit who is unhappy, self-destructive, and rebelling against life, mischevious little brother Tiffin, and sweet adorable baby sister Willa who is too young to understand the desperation all around her. Lochan and Maya work themselves into the ground trying desperately to hold together the broken pieces of their family for fear that social services will separate them if they learn of the absentee parents. The stress of their lives brings them closer and closer together to the point where they fall in love. They know its not right, they know its impossible, but they cannot deny the feeling they have that are so strong and feel so right.

The romance is slow building and comes as almost (dare I say it) a very subtle, natural, beautiful and progression. Its about two people drawn together by their circumstances, who are as close as two people can be, who rely on each other, support each other, have been through hell together… The pain, lonliness, and desolation of their life pushes them together. Everything in their life is so overwhelming, but with each other they feel safe.

“… how to get across to the outside world that Lochan and I are siblings only through biological mishap? That we were never brother and sister in the real sense, but always partners, having to being up a real family as we grew up ourselves? How to explain that Lochan has never felt like a brother but like something far, far closer than that – a soul mate, a best friend, part of the very fiber of my being?”

The book is told in alternating POVs between Lochan and Maya. Their thoughts and perspectives made me question everything I was naturally feeling and forced me to think with my heart instead of with how I was naturally inclined to automatically feel about a sibling romance. It filled me with so many conflicting emotions. My natural reaction was to cringe at the storyline and scream ‘NO!”, but when you read and understand the emotion behind it, you can’t help but want to root for them as a couple.

The writing style is absolutely stunning. It conveys the stifling desolation and desperation of their life so vividly, you can feel with all your heart. It clouds the book, clings to the story and by extension, you as the reader are utterly wrapped up in their world.

This is a story that is going to stay with me for a long time. It’ll make you question right and wrong and think twice about preconceived prejudices.

In so many ways, their relationship didn’t feel weird or wrong. All the realtionship lines in this story were blurred anyways – friend and sibling, parents and child, authority figure and equal… When the situation isn’t a normal one, where are the lines drawn? As a reader, your natural, biological instincts are screaming at you to think of it as cringe-worthy, sick and both Lochan and Maya were realists about their feelings for each other. They knew how taboo it was and struggled long and hard with coming to terms with being able to accept the things they were feeling. Their torn anguish at dealing with what they were feeling but at the same time being true to themselves and not being able to deny the strength and reality of their feelings and passion for each other was heart-wrenching.

“I scrape the fingernails of one hand against the wall, violent sobs running in shock waves through my body, tears soaking my sleeve. “Help,” I find myself gasping, “I don’t understand what’s wrong with me!”

And like I said, they were realists about their situation. They knew they could never have kids and that wasn’t a problem – they just wanted to be together. And in another world, one where they were just Lochan and Maya and not also raising three younger siblings, they could very well have made it work. But the responsibilities of their family kept them from being able to put themselves first and ultimately was what led to the tragic ending.

With all your heart, you feel their desperation as they fight to hide something the whole world will judge them for.

“But its the whole world,” he says in an anguished whisper. “How – how can we make it against the whole world?”

There was just no way to doubt the heart-breaking depths of their love for each other.

“I think I’m going to die from happiness. I think I’m going to die from pain… At the end of the day, it’s about how much can you bear, how much can you endure.“

Their desperation just seeps into your soul as they fight against the cruelty of fate and the odds of the world. *sob*

Lochan was such a gorgeous character, inside and out. To have been able to hold it together for so long and to make the ultimate sacrifice for the people he loved… I can’t even write about this without tears coming to my eyes.

Everywhere they turned, there was another closed door. The ending just ripped me to emotional shreds. I’ll repeat, NOT a HEA. My heart won’t heal. The ending was un-fixable, irreversible, and horribly tragic.

The tragic ending didn’t come out of the blue. You could feel it building from the start. I even know about the twist at the start before I began the book and thought I was fully prepared mentally for it, but it didn’t help one tiny bit and did nothing to shield my heart from the sheer, unbridled PAIN of the ending… around the 80% mark events started unfolding and my heart just sank. It felt like it stopped. I just read with my hand over my mouth, rocking back and forth going ‘please no, please no, please please &$%# no NO NO!!!“ . It didn’t help that I was prepared, even writing this now and thinking about it, I’m starting to cry again.

It brought to light a lot of questions. Why is our society/world so obsessed with who loves who?? I can understand certain misgivings from a biological perspective. Yes, siblings should never be allowed to have biological children. THAT is wrong, from a scientific standpoint, not a judgmental one. Its damaging to the gene pool. But if two people love each other and just want to be together… who are we to judge? So long as they are not having kids, why shouldn’t they be allowed to have a relationship?

Their story shattered my heart. It was haunting, beautiful, agonizing and tragic. If you are ever feeling brave enough to try it out, I’d highly recommend it. But you have to be in the right mood…. *sniff* This isn’t a story that I’ll ever forget.

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Reading Progress

0.0% "Ok *deep breath* I'm about to start this.... my heart is already hurting :-(" 8 comments
7.0% " You think no one else understands, I want to tell him , but you're wrong. I do. You're not alone."
23.0% " I scrape the fingernails of one hand against the wall, violent sobs running in shock waves through my body, tears soaking my sleeve. "Help," I find myself gasping, "I don't understand what's wrong with me!"

42.0% " I think I'm going to die from happiness. I think I'm going to die from pain."
50.0% " At the end of the day, it's about how much can you bear, how much can you endure." 8 comments
64.0% " "But its the whole world," he says in an anguished whisper. "How - how can we make it against the whole world?""
81.0% "No no no no noooooo!!! I know the twist already and it's eating at my heart but pleeeeeease don't let that be the reason why!!!! Please. #%$&. NO!! Not because of that :-( God this is painful!!!!" 2 comments
89.0% " *sob* No!!!! F*ck!!! I can't take this. This can't be happening. Nooooooooooooo"
99.0% "I'm a sobbing, shaking, wailing, WRECK!! My heart is SHATTERED !!!!!! Why? Why?? WHY????" 22 comments
02/15 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-50 of 116) (116 new)

message 1: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ Wow... you're growing! I'm impressed!!

message 2: by Happy (new)

Happy This has been on my Kindle for a while! Just waiting until I'm in the right mindset to read it...which may be never :) Looking forward to your review!

Aestas Book Blog @AJ: lol, you can expect many sob-filled/freak-out messages... although...since the end is inevitable, maybe I'll handle it better? I dunno... I have tomorrow afternoon off work. I'm gonna curl up and sob into a blanket with my book. I can't believe I willingly do this to myself *shakes head*

@Happy: I know what you mean... this has been on my TBR for freaking ever. I've always been to scared to start it... I'm still scared! lol... I'll post updates as I go

message 4: by AJ (last edited Aug 13, 2012 10:01PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ I'm thinking that knowing the ending is not really going to help. I picked the ending fairly early in the book, and I was still a sobbing mess sitting on the couch rocking backwards and forwards chanting "why... why... WHY????"

I'll be on standby for your freakout though ;)

Aestas Book Blog oh god. I don't know if I can DO this!! Seriously. Jeezzzzzzzz. ok, I have to. I'm too curious. But still... I'm already freaking out and I haven't even started it yet.

My heart is hurting already.

message 6: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ LOL, we have to do these things to ourselves occasionally. And just think - it will make the KA recovery book THAT much sweeter!

Aestas Book Blog Yes!! Good point! I love that I have a nearly-guaranteed 4-5 star read to pick me up after... Still very scary though.

Alexis *Reality Bites* Wow you stepped out of your comfort zone for this... I like that:) I hope you have a good follow up read

Aestas Book Blog I do!! I'm either gonna read the first Burg book or the first Fantasyland KA book... either way, I think it'll help my heart heal.

This is the only book like this so far out of my comfort zone on my TBR but I can't get it off my mind so I'm trying to be brave here :P

Maria Shitttttt, now you hve me Freaking Out about the ending and I don't even know what happens!! OMG is it Awful? AJ was Rocking back and forth screaming Whyyyyyy...... I'm Scared!!! LOL:)

message 11: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ Maria wrote: "Shitttttt, now you hve me Freaking Out about the ending and I don't even know what happens!! OMG is it Awful? AJ was Rocking back and forth screaming Whyyyyyy...... I'm Scared!!! LOL:)"

Don't freak out Maria!!! You already know it's not a happy book! And even though it made me feel like that, I'm still pimping it to you guys so I have no doubt you can handle it! Have something happy lined up for afterwards though ;)

Maria I will definitley be reading something light and funny after this!!

Aestas Book Blog Maria wrote: "Shitttttt, now you hve me Freaking Out about the ending and I don't even know what happens!! OMG is it Awful? AJ was Rocking back and forth screaming Whyyyyyy...... I'm Scared!!! LOL:)"

Wait... you DON'T know what happens?! 0_0 *

@Anna: teehee bravery in the form of a terrified reader :P

message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Aestas! Don't read the Burg after you read this! The Burg is BEYOND intense and it's really dark too.

Aestas Book Blog Rena wrote: "Aestas! Don't read the Burg after you read this! The Burg is BEYOND intense and it's really dark too."

Really?? um... sad, heart-break kind of intense?!
What should I prepare myself for?

message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

It intensely dark (lots of hurt, lots of horrible things) It's definitely not a light read! But Colt is very comforting! He and Feb have to go through a lot a lot a lot.

message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

I don't think I'm making much sense. But basically, it's a book that grabs you by the throat and pulls you through the wringer. So, not sure if you want to go on another rollercoaster after Forbidden.

Aestas Book Blog At the moment, I can barely process thought. I just finished Forbidden and my heart is SHATTERED. I'll have to figure it out after my review... right now, I can barely thing :( *sob*

You are making sense though.... I actually kinda like the sound of it. I'm all for roller coasters... so long as I get my swoony HEA.

WHY COULDN"T THIS BOOK HAVE HAD A HEA??????????? *sniffle*

Tessamari ♥Many Waters...♥ ~ Sweet Spot Book Blog Holy crap! No HEA? You're sobbing? Is there a sequal? I'm like you. I need my HEA. I think I might pass. yikes!

message 20: by Aestas Book Blog (last edited Aug 14, 2012 09:31PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Aestas Book Blog Nope. No HEA. No sequel. The ending of this book will rip your heart to shreds. And its kind of a non-fixable ending even if there was a sequel anyway :-(

Beautiful book though. I'll post the full review tomorrow night. I just finished writing it but don't want to post it without character pics.

I feel numb. My heart is in pieces. But I loved the book.

But I'm going back to my "only HEA" book policy. I can't take endings like this. I need my swoony endings no matter what the heart-ache in the story.

Tessamari ♥Many Waters...♥ ~ Sweet Spot Book Blog Oh crap! A "non fixable" ending,eh? Yikes! See, that's a toughie. I love beautiful books and I love feeling the characters, but I think I would be one hot mess after this one. I had a feeling that after the reviews it wasnt a HEA, so I didn't pick it up. If I ever feel like a good cry, I might pick it up. Hope you feel better, Aestas :) I know exactly how you feel when a story tears you up. :(

 ✿Alyssa✿ YAY!!! I'm so glad you're reading this book Aestas! I just finished it a few days ago, and although it was heartbreaking, it was a wonderful read! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! =)

message 23: by Natalie (last edited Aug 15, 2012 03:52AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Natalie Well now i am scared SHITLESS of reading this :(

Aestas Book Blog I was terrified to read it too. And with good reason. My heart is still hurting (this being the morning after reading it) and I don't think I'll ever be fully over the tragedy of how it ended. Its still a beautiful book so I'd recommend it for whenever someone is feeling brave and wanting a good sob.

I have the review all written... I'll post it tonight (prolly in about 12 hours) once I'm back home from work and find the character pics and maybe it'll help you guys decide whether or not to read it.

Natalie Maybe i could read everything but the ending? Cus i am curious about it...
Looking forward to your review..

Aestas Book Blog Personally... I'm struggling with the ending. Part of me wants to make the last 10% or so just a horrible bad dream and in reality they all lived happily-ever-after.

But still, you know me and my compulsive HEA need... If I can do it, any of you can definitely do it. But my heart hurts. It literally feels like a physical pain. *sniff*

I"ll let you know when the review is posted :)

★Ruth★ I was the same Aestas...I so wanted it to have a HEA, I was making up all sorts of excuses in my head & possiible scenario's where it all worked out...even though I knew it wasn'y possible!! Such a good book but I don't think I could ever do a re-read of it!

Mariann {at} Belle's Book Bag Love your review!! I could never read this book~I just wouldn't be able to take the ending. It probably would haunt me and I wouldn't be able to let it go. I definitely need my HEAs.

message 29: by Tabitha (new) - added it

Tabitha Suzuma Nice casting :)

message 30: by Aestas Book Blog (last edited Aug 15, 2012 05:51PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Aestas Book Blog @Ruth: it was a dream. And then they woke up, went and to a beautiful tropical island with the 3 kids and lived happily ever after :D
I'm in denial!

@Mariann: thank you! I said the same thing as you did several months ago but for whatever reason, I couldn't get the story out of my mind... If you are ever feeling the need for a good cry, its a really amazing book

Aestas Book Blog Tabitha wrote: "Nice casting :)"

Thank you!!! :D

message 32: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ OMG!! Totally epic review for an absolutely amazing story!! Sensational! You put it together very nicely, and yes I can feel your emotion. Congrats for getting through it!

Aestas Book Blog *grins* thank you! and thank even more for the emotional support while I was reading it!!

message 34: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ Backatcha! At least we manage to stagger our freak-outs so at least one of us is sensible! LOL!!!

Aestas Book Blog Indeed! Its a good system :P

message 36: by AJ (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ LMAO! *high five reading buddy!* :D

Aestas Book Blog *grins* :D

Maria Thanks for writing my review for me Aestas.....Hahahahahahahaha...... Great Review and Love your choices for Lochan And Maya!!

message 39: by Aestas Book Blog (last edited Aug 15, 2012 09:16PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Aestas Book Blog (¯`·..·♥Anna♥·..·´¯) wrote: "What a wonderful, heartfelt review! I dont know if I'll ever read this book, I dont think I am strong enough..."

Thank you Anna :) I know how you feel... it took me a long time to work myself up to reading it too

Aestas Book Blog Maria wrote: "Thanks for writing my review for me Aestas.....Hahahahahahahaha...... Great Review and Love your choices for Lochan And Maya!!"

LOLOL!!! teeheehee anytime :P
and thanks about the review and the pics. Glad you like them :)

Maria $5 Per Review??

Aestas Book Blog Bahahahhaa!! you can just be like "what she said" in your reviews :P

Maria I'll just send you an email consisting of in my words what I thought, which would probably involve lots of bad words and dirty thoughts and then you can rewrite it and make it sound all magical and shit!! LOL:)

Aestas Book Blog LMAO!! "magical and shit" love it!!
I was actually tempted to swear a lot in this review but decided against it. Towards the end I was just chanting "No! F*ck. Why. F*ck. Noooooooo" while sobbing my eyes out. It wasn't pretty :p

message 45: by AJ (last edited Aug 15, 2012 09:33PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ I should post on here the email that I got when Aestas hit the big climax in the story. Very tragic of course, but freaking hilarious - and not quite as eloquent as her actual review!

Aestas Book Blog Hahahha do you have it?! I barely remember it. Just that I was freaking the hell out!!

Maria You ladies write some pretty magical shit on here!!!!!!!!!

Maria I'm just like Read This Shit, It's Amazing!!

Aestas Book Blog Hey don't knock the simple reviews! When I see you say to "Read This Shit", I usually click add right away :)

message 50: by AJ (last edited Aug 15, 2012 09:43PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

AJ Maria wrote: "I'm just like Read This Shit, It's Amazing!!"

Bahahahaha! That works for me! :D

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