Leftbanker's Reviews > Tuesdays with Morrie

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
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Feb 16, 12

bookshelves: complete-pieces-of-shit

If I were to die unexpectedly I wouldn’t be ashamed in the least of someone finding my porn stash. And by the way, that video isn’t bestiality, it’s just two guys in a moose suit—big difference. I would be a little ashamed of the fact that I have the first season of 90210 on my iPod, something I downloaded for a friend’s 14 year old daughter (note to self: delete it now!). I’m more worried about someone coming across Tuesdays with Morrie or Eat, Pray, Love in my book collection. I have some explaining to do.

Like any pseudo-intellectual dipshit, I wouldn’t normally be caught dead with pieces of shit like those two in my library, but I believe that given my current living situation there are extenuating circumstances. I buy books compulsively, especially when they are really inexpensive. I pass by a pawn shop about once a month to buy books for .50€ each. Books in Spain are generally a bit expensive so at this price I will buy almost anything—even the two pieces of shit mentioned above. I give away lots of books to friends and acquaintances, especially when they come this cheaply.

I actually read Tuesdays with Morrie, or at least I speed-read part of it for the purposes of this essay and I had read Eat, Pray, Love some years ago, or at least most of it. Both are best sellers meant for people who almost never read. They are books for people who claim a book is brilliant simply because they were able to finish it. "Look everyone! I'm reading, I'm really reading!" I think that anything people read is better than not reading, but that’s all the praise I have for these particular works that promise to give the reader the deep meaning of life. Any book that claims to explain the mysteries of life and death should set off the alarms for anyone with half a brain, books like the Bible or the Talmud or the Koran fall into this category of trash.

I’m sorry folks. There are no “answers” in life. There is only wisdom and wisdom takes time, certainly more than the 192 pages that make up Tuesdays with Morrie. Answers are simply created by people who are terrified that there might not be answers. The problem is when religions or the Mitch Alboms and Elizabeth Gilberts of the world start infringing on the domain of the rational with their moronic explanations of the spiritual or existential. I would say that these institutions (religions and hack writers) constantly violate the airspace of the rational and scientific.

Tuesdays and Eat claim to be instruction manuals for life. They have about as much spiritual depth as a newspaper horoscope or a fortune cookie. In the case of the aphorisms in Tuesdays I’d say they were pretty lousy fortune cookies. A few examples:

Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others.
Accept the past as past and what you are not able to do.
Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.


Wisdom is difficult to define but I think I know it when I see it. I ain't seeing it here.

P.S. If I dated a girl who had this book on her bed table I would probably escape by jumping out her third story bathroom window. It would creep me out, like when that girl saw the fingernails on the wall in Silence of the Lambs.
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Comments (showing 1-41 of 41) (41 new)

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message 1: by Melanie (new)

Melanie You are one funny dude.


message 2: by Ayny (new) - rated it 1 star

Ayny I liked your statement..."people who claim a book is brilliant simply because they were able to finish it..." hahaha how true! it's popular, it must be good!


Lindsay I find the fact that you would seem to lack the ability of not judging someone based on their opinion of a BOOK, to be extremely narrow-minded. That aside I found your opinion interesting and I shall keep it and the good reviews of this novel in mind while I read this book. But, at the end of reading it, I'll form my own opinion.

Now, if I ever meet someone who liked to say they'd 'jump out the window' (i assume you're exaggerating because come on, really?) based upon someone's preference of a book, well, I'd kindly say "Well, let's agree to disagree" and smile. ;)


Leftbanker Lindsay wrote: "I find the fact that you would seem to lack the ability of not judging someone based on their opinion of a BOOK, to be extremely narrow-minded. That aside I found your opinion interesting and I sha..."

I have a lot of faults but “narrow-minded” doesn’t really fit. What you have to remember is that the whole idea of Goodreads is for people to give THEIR opinion of books they have read. I read loads of vitriolic reviews of books that I love. To each his own (a wonderful expression in English, by the way). Your average review is 3.21 where mine is 4.04 which means that you are a hell of a lot more critical than I. As I say on my homepage, I usually only eviscerate books that are pieces of shit that had—at least the way I see things—an unwarranted popularity.


Marina Brilliant synopsis Leftbanker! When's your book coming out? I want to read it!


Julie Just because you don't like something doesn't make it a piece of shit.


Leftbanker Unless I have been mistaken all this time on Goodreads I think it's all about personal opinions of books. What makes a book a piece of shit is if I think it's a piece of shit. Just because this may be your favorite-est book in the whole world doesn't mean everyone else has to like it.


Ashley Moore I respect your opinion, but is this book a huge piece of shit to you because it is about a man who loses his battle with a horrible disease and not something you enjoy reading or is the way it's written?


message 9: by Leftbanker (last edited Dec 01, 2012 06:54AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker Ashley wrote: "I respect your opinion, but is this book a huge piece of shit to you because it is about a man who loses his battle with a horrible disease and not something you enjoy reading or is the way it's wr..."
I think that I explained my reasons for not liking this book in the review but what I disliked the most about it was its immense popularity considering that it is so utterly mediocre.


Carla well spoken


message 11: by Jordan (new)

Jordan "I think that I explained my reasons for not liking this book in the review but what I disliked the most about it was its immense popularity considering that is so utterly mediocre."

Thats it right there people. He doesnt like it because it is popular. That must mean Leftbanker was bullied in highschool therefore he dislikes anything that more then himself has said is good. Its okay Leftbanker. The mean quarterback of your highschool football team wont shoot spitwads at you anymore.


Leftbanker So Jordan opened an account on Goodreads just to give me shit for trashing this horrible book. Jordan, I would suggest you find a book about English grammar.


message 13: by Rexter5 (new)

Rexter5 So I have a question, what makes you think this book cares if you call it names. I mean really yah this site is meant to be for your opinion on a book, but I mean damn man. You didn’t need to be such as arse about it I mean come on. I yah you don’t like the book but unless you are a article writer then I don’t want to see you bull crap about a book that may be bad but at least I am not calling it a "piece of shit." not only that this guy wrote a book (which is probably more then you did in life) and put it out in this world for people to read. Everyone can have their own opinion but no one wants to read crap like that. oh and by the way you name "leftbanker" so I am thinking you are trying to act like a ladies man or something, just have to tell you people don’t want to read that you private area is shifting to the left of you body and warning you may want to go check that out with a doctor, Or if that’s not the case then you need to grow up to your actual age I know high school kids who are more adult then you.


Leftbanker Rexter5 wrote: "So I have a question, what makes you think this book cares if you call it names. I mean really yah this site is meant to be for your opinion on a book, but I mean damn man. You didn’t need to be su..."
You haven’t written a single review on Goodreads and it’s probably a good thing that you haven’t considering the fractured English you have displayed in this unlettered comment.


message 15: by Ayny (new) - rated it 1 star

Ayny People should be able to say whatever they want about books, movies, music, art! This book was an opportunists tool, used to write something for school. Essentially, the author made money from an elderly man's death. I'm not going to even look at another one of his "books".


message 16: by Leftbanker (last edited Jan 24, 2013 02:51AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker Marina wrote: "Brilliant synopsis Leftbanker! When's your book coming out? I want to read it!"

Perhaps you are only trying to be facetious but I do plan to publish a book soon. I have written a travel book about my first two years living in Spain called Mediterranean Exile: Spain on less than a bottle of wine a day.


Mohammad Gulam Live and let live. Leftbanker, I don't agree with you but I must say, you seem like an intelligent fellow. You respond to criticism with grace and for that I say.... Respect....


message 18: by Daniel (last edited Mar 19, 2013 02:31PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Daniel Good review with funny touch, oh and funny name you have "Leftbanker". I dont get why people get so angry with this review , at the end its just an opinion. Maybe you did some damage with it i guess


message 19: by Robert (new)

Robert Mcfadden John, re the girl and bedstand reading, but what if she was, like, a real hammer?


message 20: by Leftbanker (last edited Mar 20, 2013 12:43AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker Robert wrote: "John, re the girl and bedstand reading, but what if she was, like, a real hammer?"

My truthfulness in answering that question may be compromised because of someone standing near me who may or may not punch me in the neck.

I can only pray (problematic for an atheist like me) that the love of my life also has a low opinion of this book and doesn't own a copy or I may have to rethink my whole plan regarding this collection of fortune cookies masquerading as a book.


message 21: by Sketchbook (new) - added it

Sketchbook A book for those who don't read....great line.


message 22: by Amy (new) - rated it 3 stars

Amy Haha Jordan. I like you.
And I respect your opinion Leftbanker. Say what you will about this book and other books you have read and the rest of us will just have to remember that this is one random middle aged man's opinion of a book and nothing more than that.


message 23: by Sketchbook (new) - added it

Sketchbook Amy, is your mouth in a permanent twist or izzat just for GR?


message 24: by Leftbanker (last edited Sep 15, 2014 01:58PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker "...the rest of us will just have to remember that this is one random middle aged man's opinion of a book and nothing more than that."

...and I respect the opinion of a random pre-teen girl.

It never ceases to amaze me that so many people on Goodreads don't understand that this entire thing is designed so that individuals can voice their opinions of the books they read. Of course this is nothing more than my opinion (and a chance to write a few gags).


message 25: by Sketchbook (new) - added it

Sketchbook Many GRs are from the planet Uranus.


message 26: by Amy (new) - rated it 3 stars

Amy I would say permanent twist Sketchbook.
And I'm glad you respect my opinion Leftbanker. I wouldn't say I don't understand the point of Good Reads. Did you not understand that from my comment?


Lorena It's fine for someone to have his opinion, but the part that makes me laugh is how aggressively he protects his own right to his opinion, while anybody who has a different opinion is clearly not worthy of consuming oxygen that would be better used by someone like, say, him.


message 28: by Leftbanker (last edited Aug 19, 2013 02:21AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker You are free to write your own review of this shitty book and I promise to respect your opinion. A few people actually liked my review. I write humor for a living and humor doesn't always tickle.


message 29: by Sketchbook (new) - added it

Sketchbook It's a shitty book that shitty people like. Espc the young and retarded. All must be flushed.


Leftbanker There has been a lot of spirited back and forth on the topic of this book but at least we can all agree that Tuesdays with Morrie is a huge turd and completely undeserving of the attention it has received.


Shuwen Yin For all of you who called this book "trash" or "shit", I really expect to find your own books in the store since obviously you are full of "wisdom"! Get out there and write a book, and please include your very criticisms of this book in it so the publishers can make sure your talent shines through the pages. I got a title for you: ALL THE SHIT I SAID.
You are welcome.


Renee shi yan Liu I totally agree with what Shuwen said above. If you spend part of your lifetime reading a book and ended up feeling shit and spit over your shit everywhere, I could only say,"Bro, I understand why you don't get the book."


message 33: by Lovevintage44 (new)

Lovevintage44 Hi Leftbanker, Disclaimer: I opened an account in order to comment on your review and to respond to some of the commenters. I felt compelled to do so; that's my nature. Incidentally, YOUR disclaimer, "Like any pseudo-intellectual dipshit" is hilarious, but I think you should have saved it for a different audience. It was completely lost on this one. Count me among the numbers of p-id's.
Marina (mssg.5) wrote, "When's your book coming out?"
Leftbanker, I definitely intend to purchase it. I like your style of writing and wine and travel are two of my favorite subjects. It should be an entertaining read. Perhaps Marina wasn't being facetious. Oops sorry; your review is not a synopsis; there goes her credibility.
Lindsay, (mssg.3: That first sentence is horrendous. Just say what you want to say (e.g. I think you are extremely narrow-minded because you judge people based on their opinion of a book). Or did the way you wrote that simple thought make you feel more sophisticated? Also, you clearly did not understand Leftbanker's tongue-in-cheek reference to "jumping out of a window". Were you absent from school when your Engl I teacher taught similes, metaphors, puns, oxymorons, etc.?
Jordan (mssg. 11: "That must mean Leftbanker was bullied in highschool therefore he dislikes anything that more then himself has said is good. Its okay Leftbanker. The mean quarterback of your highschool football team wont shoot spitwads at you anymore." You win my award for Most Dumbass Comment. It makes me suspect that YOU were a bully in high school. However did you infer that Jordan, and, "uh", was your English teacher also the football coach?
Rexter5 (mssg.13): You tied with Jordan for 1st place, but I dislike things like co-valedictorians so that's why you got 2nd place. Also, you must have been in J's Engl. class with the coach teach... just saying. The last part of your comment referencing something LB'er previously stated should have either been quoted verbatim or left out completely. AND, Rex5, how in the hell did you come up with the idea that leftbanker meant ladies' man? Oh, I forgot... you probably can't relate to the Vieux Carre' in New Orleans NOR La Rive Gauche in Paris as Leftbanker and I. Why does that surprise me?
Robert (mssg. 19): You get the award for the funniest comment. Thanks for lightening things up! And LB'er (mssg. 20): you are a very wise man, indeed. Nice job!
Ashley (mssg. 8), please read Ayny's (mssg. 15). Least Intuitive Award goes to Ashley and Most Intuitive and Saddest Awards go to Ayny.
One more comment, sorry... Renee (mssg. 32): Maybe, you Bro, don't understand life. Suggested reading- John Lennon.
Leftbanker, sorry I hi-jacked your review.
Just my 2 cents,Brigitte


Leftbanker Thanks for defending me. Since you've gone and created an account you should write some reviews. I would advise against taking the piss out of shitty books that some hold up as holy manuscripts unless you want to incur a deluge of mostly unlettered hate mail. I completely understand anyone who doesn't think that I'm not funny (that's sort of the story of my life) but the whole idea of this site is for people to voice their opinions. If some of these opinions differ from yours then I suggest that you just grow the fuck up and accept it in the name of tolerance. We don't have to respect one another but tolerance is necessary in a civilized society.


Kathryn Piehler I have to say, this book actually changed my perspective on a lot of things. My high school class read this book and everyone loved it. We discussed all of the meaning in the book and didn't just read it. You may be missing out on some things if you don't think this book has meaning. Of high school football players cried while reading this and found the significance in it, the book has to be well written and have true meaning behind it.


Mohammed Alzahrani You said something like "There is no answers in life. Only wisdom and wisdom takes time." this book presents the thoughts and "wisdom" of an old man. I don't the book or the author claimed that those thoughts are answers to life.
You would have enjoyed it, if YOU didn't expect to find answers on life.


message 37: by Davytron (new)

Davytron This review is fantastic. Thank you for the laughs.


Carole Rae Sooo much unnecessary drama over someones opinion on a book. jeez.


message 39: by Kristin (new) - added it

Kristin Rademacher I can't really take this review seriously because you didn't even read it. You said you read it quickly just for the point if the essay. I also can't take this seriously because you say that it's described as a self help book that holds the mysteries of life. Well first, it doesn't say or claim that at all. In fact, there is this cool thing on the back that has the bar code and a big number called an ISBN. Above that really long number is a word or words to describe what kind of book it is. It says "memoir." A memoir is a fancy way of saying this is about something personal that happened to someone. Not a self help book.


Rachel Possibly the most small minded and disrespectful review I've ever read.


message 41: by Leftbanker (last edited Dec 28, 2014 10:48PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Leftbanker “I can't really take this review seriously…”

This is the deepest cut because anyone who has read this review knows that what I desire, above all else, is to be taken seriously.

To Rachel:

I have a few other reviews that are even more small-minded and disrespectful if you need something to read.


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