Becky's Reviews > The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun an... by Jill Conner Browne
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Jul 25, 08

Read in July, 2008

This book was a hilarious child guide. I seriously laughed out loud and found myself sharing things with my husband several time. But there were a couple things that kept me from loving it. First of all, I skipped a couple chapters because I felt the subjects were inappropriate (specifically the chapter on boy's parts, potty training, & sex talk). Second, the author uses a lot of profanity. She even says (in her chapter about kids cussing): "My language would practically qualify me to be the Admiral of all Navies. I cuss. A lot." If language bothers you, I would recommend that you probably skip this book (or at least the first couple of chapters).
But overall, the Sweet Potato Queen gave some good advice in a comical way.

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"Every little pregnancy bonus that Mother Nature gives us comes with its own corresponding slap in the face with a wet squirrel."

Regarding nap taking (& sleeping when your baby sleeps): "This does not mean that on some days, you may not get all your phone calls made. You may not get the errands run. You may not even get a shower until after ten p.m. - but none o f that matters if you get that baby to take a morning and an afternoon nap. It will totally not matter if you also take those naps - because you won’t be so tired you can hardly inflate your lungs.

"This is one of those things you need to think about before you start a family: Your life is over. It's about somebody else now for quite a number of years. Suck it up. You did know the job was dangerous when you took it."

"If you are momentarily enjoying a relatively angst-free time as a parent, you should take vacation time from work and spend it on your knees, in constant prayers of praise and thanksgiving. And you don't have to worry about using up al your vacation time with this- on account of, as a parent, angst-free time hardly ever happens. Even if your kids are models of exemplary behavior, you worry that they'll fall in with a bad crowd - or be in the wrong place at the wrong time - or they'll get sick. If worry burned calories, there would be no fat parents, that's for sure."

"Somewhere around eleven to thirteen, the eyeballs of children become extremely loose in their sockets, so that just about any disturbance in the air around them - say, a word issuing forth from, say, your mouth - will cause immediate and severe rolling"

"Play will help save from fraying that last intact nerve you still have to your name...Everybody breathing needs to play - almost as much as they need to breathe. University studies have shown that pay is as important to our (humans) health and well being as food, clothing, and shelter. All humans - all ages - not just kids."

"...in that instant and I was filled with absolute terror at the very thought of loving anybody this much. I grasped the full measure of the human hearts capacity for boundless love and transcendent joy - I got the merest glimmer of its potential for being truly and utterly broken. At that moment, I knew that I could bear, believe, hope, and endure all things - for the sake of this little bitty baby girl on my lap. And so, we began our hopeful, happy, and yes, sometimes harrowing journey together as Mother and Daughter. Worth it? Oh, yeah."
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