Kirsten's Reviews > And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

And Baby Makes Three by John M. Gottman
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's review
Jul 17, 2008

really liked it
bookshelves: world-of-baby
Read in August, 2008

This book should really be called, "How to Not Get Divorced," although that title's not very catchy. Basically, relationship satisfaction rates plummet after couples have babies. The Gottmans endeavored to find out why, and more importantly, to find out exactly what the successful couples were doing that had them stay married and satisfied with their relationships. What I liked about this book is the same as what several people said when recommending it to me. The authors don't have some vague idea or gimmick that will make everything better. They've researched successful and failing couples extensively and taken what successful couples do inside their communication and organized it for the reader. i.e. "These people are happy and not divorced. If you do what they do, it's likely your outcome will be the same." I like how the book is organized, moving from the reality of a new baby into the bigger, deeper questions such as "what kind of legacy do you want to create?". I also like the fact that there are lots of checklists and question sets for spouses to look at together. It makes me feel involved as a reader and moves the text out of the theoretical realm and into the practical. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is because I like to save my 5 star ratings for literature. Because I'm a snob. But I highly recommend this book whether or not you're concerned about your relationship. It's just a good way to remind yourself to (and how to) take care of each other while taking on the new, all-encompassing task of taking care of a baby. Creating a marriage as a covenant (whether you're religious or not) is something I've always believed in, and the Gottmans have given me several tools to add to my toolbox in order to keep it that way.

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Comments (showing 1-1 of 1) (1 new)

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message 1: by Susanne (new)

Susanne I bought this book when Isaac was close to four months old. Problem was that I wanted to read it with Tom and there just wasn't enough time due to Isaac's poor sleeping patterns. We quit somewhere in the second chapter. At this point I feel like we're past the "baby makes three" stage, but I'd love to know what you think. It came highly recommended.

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