Jenny's Reviews > Seriously... I'm Kidding

Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
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Feb 10, 12

bookshelves: humor, memoir-biography, non-fiction, 2012-challenge
Read on February 10, 2012

This book is more like a series of one-liners and throwaway jokes than a sustained narrative. Possibly a case of conversational style not working in print. There are certainly some very funny bits but overall I didn't love it, and I wanted to. I do think Ellen should host the Oscars any year that Billy Crystal isn't doing it. Maybe they could trade off years.

*

I don't know at what age people stop wanting to be older. People seem to enjoy their twenties and thirties. It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. (8)

I found out that my ancestors date back to fifteenth-century England. That's like when Big Ben was just tiny little baby Ben.

First of all, did you know a snail can sleep for three years? That's why they move so slowly when they're awake. They're groggy. Did you know that raccoons have such nimble fingers they can not only open garbage can lids and turn doorknobs, they can untie shoelaces? Now you know why they're so good at putting on eyeliner. (62-63)

"I don't know why the word 'mustache' exists. Can't we just call it 'lip hair'?"

"If you like winning, never play hide-and-seek with a chipmunk."

She said, "Did you just intercom the cat?"
And I looked at her and I had no choice but to say, "Yes. I did just intercom the cat." (130)

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though it's from the exact same source.

If there's one thing I know about children it's that they have a hard time understanding the meaning of the words 'priceless Warhol.'

First you have your baby, which in and of itself is a stunning feat. I won't go into specifics, but ouch and no thank you.

Advice to parents who might otherwise give birth on or near Christmas: "Plan your love. I'm not great at baby math, so I'm just gonna say in the early part of the year, maybe January until March, stay away from each other."

I know sometimes it seems like a world that has a blanket with sleeves can't get any better, but I think it can. (240)

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