Sam's Reviews > She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood

She Looks Just Like You by Amie Klempnauer Miller
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's review
Feb 11, 2012

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bookshelves: bookgroup, memoir, parenting, queer, non-fiction
Read from February 01 to 11, 2012

I read this for a bookgroup discussion with a lesbian moms group. I am a biological mom, and my wife and I plan to have a second child which she will carry.

It was very useful to see the other side of the equation, especially Amie's struggle to determine what her role is/was in the realm between mother-father-non-bio mom. The omnipresent reality for two-mom or two-dad families is the necessity to be specific about roles when there is no automatic social or societal assumption about who "mommy" or "mama" are in the family dynamic. While the day to day realities are not all that different from say, mom and dad who both work or a stay at home parent and a working outside the home parent the need to identify the roles that individuals take on is necessary as their is not a societal default. This is especially true when the mom whose staying home may not be the biological mom, or, as is increasingly the case when both women in the relationship are biological parents to one or more children.

I also found it very helpful to hear how Amie's wife reacted to returning to work, as she was the biological parent.

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