Wicked Incognito Now's Reviews > Lothaire

Lothaire by Kresley Cole
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May 07, 12

bookshelves: auto-buy-author, 2012, predictable, meh, overly-contrived-silliness, so-irritating, read-w-a-buddy, one-of-my-favorite-authors, paranormal-romance
Recommended for: all lovers of IAD
Read from January 10 to 12, 2012

I hate when I finish reading a book right before I go to bed, because then I wake up sometime in the night and can't stop re-hashing the book. So now I'm up at 4am specifically to write this review. As I was lying in bed, I came up with many items to point out. Too bad I didn't have someone to dictate to, because I was really on a role there.

First of all I should point out that I've really loved this series. I've been a loyal pre-ordering fan. Kresley Cole has mad skills. She is an expert at juggling voice, sexual tension, action, humor, characterization, plot, and dialogue. In fact, she has created a formula which involves all the aforementioned elements and a plot plan. She does not stray from the formula. She has used it successfully for the entire series. Problem is...previously, even aware of the formula, it receded to the background for me as I was swept along with the characters and the sexual tension. This time--not so much. This time the formula was a bleekin' beacon flashing in the background: "Now this will happen, next that. Here we are at the part where the heroine does this, the hero responds by that..."

Why was the formula such a problem for me THIS time and not for every other book in the IAD series? Because I suddenly reached my WTFery threshold.

It all began with the introduction of the fabled Kingdom of Dacia. Now realize, this is not a spoiler that I'm about to discuss because it has nothing to do with any plot points. This kingdom is a new thing that KC introduced. It's a vampire kingdom which is hidden from the entire Lore. It's full of goodness and light and fountains of flowing blood.....screech....what? Fountains of BLOOD? That's just gross. Of course, having an ample supply of blood allows these vamps to never drink from the flesh. Why? Vampires aren't supposed to be all good. They're creatures of the night. Why this kingdom? It's weird. Also, where does all that blood come from? This really bothers me. Blood must COME FROM somewhere. That's like saying---there's this magical kingdom where steak grows in rolling meadows straight from the ground. Ew. That's not right. Just ew.

I'm sorry, but immortality needs to come with suffering and angst and---well, there's just a price to pay for eternal life. It's a rule of fantasy. Plus, ew. Fountains of blood?

Something about the introduction of the Kingdom of Dacia just threw me out of my KC induced haze and I started to pick apart my love of this series. I came to a realization that I love the secondary characters created in this series UNTIL THEY BECOME MAIN CHARACTERS. Then suddenly, they are not the characters I originally loved. Regin is one example. Lothaire is another.

I'm highly disappointed that Nix and Lothaire were not a match. There was all this backstory with the two. There's something incredibly poignant about two foes finally coming together after a millennia of warring. I was looking forward to that. Nix is crazy. Lothaire is crazy. They NEEDED each other. They were both irreverent, snarky, entirely lovable....

We didn't need this new human person. Yes, I came to enjoy Ellie's character, but there are SO MANY characters in this Lore world. Why keep adding new ones? It makes me not want to invest in any of these characters. The cast becomes ungainly.

Also--I miss the valkyries. They're my favorite part. So loyal and funny and vicious.

What? I had other things to say. It's TOO EARLY in the morning. This is how my mind was racing while I was attempting to sleep.

Oh yeah, Lothaire. Stupid Lothaire.

He was so...oh I don't know...like Spike. He was a Spike. But instead of turning all vulnerable and cute he was just mean. And I realized that ALL of KC's heroes are horrible and abusive. Why do we readers accept this? Are we all just secretly wishing some man would imprison us, practically rape us until we like it, and then go all gooey on us? It's unhealthy woman. A sickness.

Like I said-- WTFery threshold.

The ending was a cop-out. Too pat. The whole thing followed the formula:

1. Hero recognizes his fated mate. "Mine."
2. Hero hates her for some reason--but must have her. "Mine."
3. Hero imprisons fated mate. "Mine."
4. Hero must have sex with his woman so basically forces himself on her.
5. There is much ejaculation but no penetration because he will kill her with the strength of his need to claim her.
6. Ejaculate eventually subdues feisty female.
7. She comes to love the asshole despite his assholery.
8. Still she's angry about the assholery and leaves either purposefully or due to some major drama going on in the Lore.
9. Hero finds himself BETRAYED. Hates stupid bitch fated mate.
10. Mate sad.
11. Usually due to vamp dreams, hero knows she cared all along. Love Mate. "Mine."

::sigh::
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Reading Progress

01/10/2012
35.0% "Just when I thought things couldn't get any more outlandish in the Lore....but HOLY crikeys....Cole can amp up the sexual tension to the point that I CANNOT put the book down."
01/11/2012
80.0% "Hrm."
01/12/2012
85.0% "Dear God. Make it stop." 14 comments

Comments (showing 1-31 of 31) (31 new)

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

What?? Only two stars??


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

And I realized that ALL of KC's heroes are horrible and abusive. Why do we readers accept this? Are we all just secretly wishing some man would imprison us, practically rape us until we like it, and then go all gooey on us?


Bahahahaha!

Dude, Cole is one of the founding members of this trope. If she had to re-write the bible, she'd put in some asshole with a giant penis who rapes his 'mate', holds her against her will, and hates on her until her magic hoohoo turns his brain into sperm. And that would just be genesis. I ran into this wall a while ago, but what are you gonna do. Cock & vag is cock & vag and if you're in for the small stuff, you're in for the big stuff. I just seal part of my brain and run with it.


Wicked Incognito Now "Kresley Cole has made skills." ARGH with the autocorrect. I keep finding things I have to edit.

Also--yeah. I suppose I will continue to just go along with the absurdity. KC writes well.


Audrey F*rk it in the ear. I'm on board with what you said, but had to rate higher (went with 3+) b/c I love her worldbuilding so much.


message 6: by Karla (new)

Karla Re: Fountains of blood (which sound weird, btw)

Maybe they've found a way to get blood from a stone?

So they drink blood from fountains so they don't have to kill anybody? Sounds like some other non-human killing but critter-munching sparkly vampires we know.


Wicked Incognito Now LOL. Yes. There are also the Forbearers, who never drank from flesh anyway. I think they only drink animal blood and from their fated mates.

And then there's Karen Chance's series...they just sort of inhale minuscule particles by being near humans without the humans ever realizing they're being sucked from.


Audrey In Lynsay Sands's Argeneau books, her vamp family owns a blood bank. How convenient.

And, if I remember correctly, in Kerrelyn Sparks' Love at Stake books, the vamp millionaire in her first book (who employs many of the subsequent main characters) is the inventor of synthetic blood.


Wicked Incognito Now I wonder if he invented the True Blood of Charlaine Harris' books?


message 10: by Karla (new)

Karla My my, so many ways to have sexy vampire characters without them doing vampire stuff that's truly reprehensible. :P


Audrey Deep down, they all look like this:




SubterraneanCatalyst -Censorship is for the Weak Man- I remember when I read the first book of this series and felt like I discovered El Dorado of fun WTF. I'm going into this one with low expectations, hopefully that will hold me through my night of reading without stopping once I download this baby.


message 13: by Karla (new)

Karla LMAO, Audrey. I think there's a Hello Kitty for everything. :D


Wicked Incognito Now SubterraneanCatalyst wrote: "Man- I remember when I read the first book of this series and felt like I discovered El Dorado of fun WTF. I'm going into this one with low expectations, hopefully that will hold me through my nigh..."

I know. I have always loved this series. It really is fun. Really, this one is standard KC. Well-written with excellent pacing. It just fails to punch my romance buttons.


Audrey Karla, :D Walking into the Hello Kitty store makes my heart race, which is pathetic considering I am a 29 year old woman.

SubterraneanCatalyst & April - +1 to what April said. The Lorean world is great, the IAD characters pop up gratifyingly frequently and consistently, but I found the romance itself lacking, which is a strange thing to say about a romance novel.


SubterraneanCatalyst -Censorship is for the Weak BTW: it's a disappointment to hear this one is light on the Valkyries, they are one of my favorite elements also. /Sigh.


SubterraneanCatalyst -Censorship is for the Weak PS: I am stealing that formula at the end of your review. I'm going to make history. I'm going to be famous. AWW YEAH.


Wicked Incognito Now It clearly works.

But yes, about the Valkyries. I lub dem ladies. There was a small part of the Valkyries and it was fo shiz.


message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

Wicked Incognito Now wrote: "And then there's Karen Chance's series...they just sort of inhale minuscule particles by being near humans"


Whut.


LethalLovely~Live Through This and You Won't Look Back ROFLMAO! I ♥ Cole-but I'm not some rabid fangirl that thinks she shits rainbows & cotton candy. I am well aware that she misses the mark sometimes. So this review doesn't surprise me. Bigger does not always mean better-a lesson I learned after reading the WTFery that was Acheron. I'm hoping to GOD I'll enjoy this book more that you, Wickedly April. If not...*shrugs* I'm getting this sucker from the library any way, so no money wasted.

Great review, chica. I TOTALLY want to run through fields of steak & potatoes. And bacon. Definitely bacon.


Wicked Incognito Now I think bacon should grow from trees--all crispy and warm.

And the streams should run with melted velveeta and salsa and have a shoreside of tortilla chips right next to them.


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

Dead pig meat on trees and greasy cheese rivers.

This is how I know you are my people.


Jessica Weissenburger Couldn't agree more! I wasn't overly disgusted with the fountain of blood, but I wasn't surprised by anything in the book. You could just see what was going to happen.


SubterraneanCatalyst -Censorship is for the Weak LethalLovely~GoodReads: Books Are a Battlefield wrote: "ROFLMAO! I ♥ Cole-but I'm not some rabid fangirl that thinks she shits rainbows & cotton candy. I am well aware that she misses the mark sometimes. So this review doesn't surprise me. Bigger does n..."

LOL! OMG I almost forgot about Archeron..what the..


message 25: by Galla (new)

Galla This series has so many fans, but the more I read about it, the more I think I'd hate it.


Patricia BookExhibitionism May I quote and link back to you? Please? PULEASE? :'D


message 27: by Max (new) - rated it 5 stars

Max I thought it was really good. **?? Id say 5


Gabriella i kinda of like the book


message 29: by Rachel (new)

Rachel Rozell OMG!!! I just laughed all through that review! You need to write!! LOL! I totally agree and yet always come back for more... guess I have not reached my WTFery Threshold yet LOL!!! Love it!


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

To be fair, in #4 in the series, WICKED DEEDS... KC reverses her formula & has the heroine, Mariketa, be crazy and overbearing instead of the hero.


Tasha Can I just say that I love this review? Everything you wrote (especially the part about the assholish men) is the reason why it's hard for me the muster up any kind of sympathy for the characters when something bad happens...

Or be happy for them when something good happens...

Or give a shit about them in general.

But the series is entertaining enough. :-)


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