As a teacher, I sometimes have to try and convince kids that reading is AWESOME and FUN and GREAT.

The kids tend to go >:O "OH YEAH. What's so great about it, huh?! Is it more fun than CALL OF DUTY MODERN WARFARE NINE!? Is it more exciting than shooting TERRORISTS?!"

"Well, no, maybe not more exciting but it's a nice quiet time to-"

"I don't have TIME for reading. I'm president of the SILVER NEEDLE club! And I have to practice violin! And I have AP calculus and AP psychology and AP basket-weaving! I need to to VOLUNTEER at the homeless shelter. Those help me get into college! What's reading do?"

"Well it helps you maintain an internal narrative and-"

"Internal WHAT?"

"You know hold a conversation with yourself."

"Talk to MYSELF? Oh Erik you so crazy!"

It's about that time though that I pull out my giant "Cell-phone Smasher" hammer and hurl it across the room. It smashes through the bookshelf, which explodes into a flurry of pages.

"SILENCE! Golden Compass is more exciting than shooting terrorists! It's got talking, armor-wearing polar bears. It's got aeronaut cowboys, who fly in hot-air balloons! It's got witches, who live for six centuries! It's got gun-toting gypsies! It's got child-snatchers! It's got experimentation on children! What's not to like about child experimentation, huh? I THINK THIS CLASS NEEDS MORE OF THAT, WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

"Mister Erik you can't talk to us like-"

"I can talk to you in whatever goddamn way I please. I'm the big cheese here, I'm the bee's knees, I'm the rooster on the haystack. I'm the wolf who will eat you if you don't siddown and shuddup. Reading's good stuff, you see? It takes you on an adventure. The Golden Compass is set in an alternate universe, where science and theology are the same thing. How else you going to travel to another world? Ain't by boat, but by book. And in this world, people's souls are physically manifested in the forms of daemons, of animal familiars. That's what you call a metaphor, and it's a good one for talking about souls, innit? I don't suppose that's important is it? A discussion of the SOUL?"

My students are getting teary-eyed now and snuffling, but I power on.

“The Golden Compass is a thinkin’ book. It’s a thinkin’ adventure book that’s not too deep. About SIN. And religion and free will and good and evil. It’s also about growing up. Lyra’s a headstrong, manipulative, free-spirited wild thing. In fact, she’s a bit like you all. Maybe you could learn something from her. Because yeah you’re right, reading a book may not be as fun as shooting a rocket launcher or as career-advancing as an AP class. It’s about something more than that, it’s about letting your imagination go, about falling deep into something beyond you. And this book,” I drop it heavily onto my desk, “it’s got plenty of imagination.”

"Of course," I add, "it isn't perfect, either."