Misha's Reviews > A + E 4ever

A + E 4ever by I. Merey
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Jan 06, 2012

it was amazing
bookshelves: graphic-novel, gay-bisexual-trans
I own a copy

** spoiler alert ** One of the other reviews, someone said something about 'wish fulfillment' in the clubs of this book. Actually, I went to a lot of shows in crappy clubs when I was these kids' age and had some dreams come true hahaha, maybe I'm just a loser. Maybe that's why I related so much, but I liked how this is a book about losers and identity in general. It starts out with Ash and Eu on a stage, they have to pretend to be in love with each other for five minutes for a school try-out and that sets it up, all the pretending. All the masks you wear at school. It's drama class, but you still gotta play with your family, your friends, when you’re out entertaining or getting entertained.
Ash has a phobia, he freaks out and sweats when people touch him. You never get told why, but you figure it's because he's been a punching bag his whole life. The kid doesn't have any balls. At home, well, his little sister's the only one who pays any attention to him, more than that, worships him, so he's got kind of a twisted view on her. Like Eu says, Ash is one of those pathetic people who falls in love with ANYONE who's nice to him. His little sis is the only person who looks up to him or can make him feel good about himself and sure, he's got his artwork, but that's a solitary activity. Then along comes Eu and she shows Ash how to turn himself into someone else. Eu basically starts the boy to man process. She's the first person to come out and like him, maybe the first person he has the satisfaction of rejecting.

Clubs are the place where you can be anonymous, where you can dress up in your disguise. Nobody knows who you are, you put on the best mask for one night. Eu gets that, because you suspect
she's all about masks too, all her clothes and her foul mouth are her way of putting on a front against a fucked up, cold world. She sees just how cold it is the first time when she takes Ash out--the boys drug him up then use him in the bathroom like a tissue, and you get the sad feeling he lets it happen because he’s too panicked by touching to try sex sober. Afterwards though, it frees him up somehow, he survives it and learns to not be so damn naive, to be careful with his beauty, because in the clubs, he's not what he is at school. He is a commodity, he's sexy, boys he wouldn't dare approach at school want to get with him and he doesn't have to do anything. Problem is, he starts being careful around his best friend Eu too, picks fights because she's the only one who has seen him home, school and club. And he thinks if he gives it up to her, it will screw up their friendship. (Been there.)

And Eu does want his body, but most of all she wants him to TRUST HER. Then he goes to a club with her and finally gets his shit together =) Which is not to say the book had a happy ending.

The ending was like this... love letter to ambiguity, like the whole book <3
4.5 stars


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message 1: by Jun (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jun Nozaki Thanks for writing down your thoughts. I feel like you were able to put into words stuff that I couldn't express in my own review.


Misha Sorry, I haven't checked this in so long. But thanks.


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