Katie's Reviews > 11/22/63

11/22/63 by Stephen King
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's review
Jul 12, 12

bookshelves: i-expected-so-much-more-from-you, boooooring
Read in July, 2012

Good. Lord.

I finished 11/22/63 approximately 16 minutes ago, and I can think of precisely zero clever or interesting things to say about it.* After nearly 900 pages, I don't have the energy to critique it seriously or point out its flaws other than to say THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST BORING BOOKS EVER WRITTEN.

Why, book, did your editor not slash you like a killer wielding a red pen of death? Or, to be more relevant, like (view spoiler)? This was a 400 page story, so why oh why are you 900 pages?? I repeat: 900. Nine. Oh. Oh. That's a lot of freaking pages.**

It's boring in a very interesting way, though. A lot of times super boring books come with lofty, lit-ra-chuh type of writing (see: Gilead, Let the Great World Spin, anything ever written by Paul Coelho), but this is like paperback-thriller type of writing. In other words, it's easy reading, but it still manages to be insanely boring.

The problem, you see, is that someone---King, his editor, his publisher, maybe the Man in the Yellow Hat***---decided that this book had to be an "epic" 900 pages, so basically that meant King was scrambling around in the six weeks he spent writing this book trying to think up shit to say. If I had it in me to pick up the book and search for supporting quotes, I would, but I don't, so you'll just have to trust me when I say that the protagonist shares every. single. detail. of his life with you. I mean that both in terms of his thought-processes and his step-by-step actions. It's quite painful, really, and I ended up rapidly skimming through a good portion of the book. That's something I very rarely do. It makes me feel like I'm a cheater, but you know what? Had I not done it, this book would have cheated me out of like 35 years of my prime reading years, and you know what they say: So many books, so little time.

Seems like such a waste---somewhere in those 900 pages is a good story.



*Although it's really hard for me not to give into my dorkhood right now and say something like "Sure wish I could travel back in time so I could un-read this book!" but that would just be obvious and unfunny, so of course I would never think of something like that. Obviously.

**Please don't be annoying and tell me how technically it's actually only like 847 pages. I'm rounding up, and I'm being gracious. If I were rounding up based on perceived length, we'd be talking, say, a million pages.

***Or was that the guy in Curious George? I'm getting my yellow-themed characters mixed up.
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