Alice's Reviews > New Moon

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
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Jul 17, 09

bookshelves: read-in-2008
Read in June, 2008

Curiosity and novelty might have justified my reading the first book in the series. They might even justify my reading this, the second book in the series. But now that I've read two of these horribly, horribly, horribly written books, there can be no justification for further continuing down this destructive, brainless path. (... Unless reading this dreck has somehow changed the composition of my brain such that I am as much of an idiot as Bella!)

Sure, I might still see the movie, because Cedric Diggory -- er, I mean, Edward Cullen -- is really, really ridiculously good looking, a la Derek Zoolander. But IT STOPS THERE.

Oh, and enclosed please find my letter to Stephenie Meyer's editor:

Dear Stephenie Meyer's editor,

Get a bigger pair of scissors.

Love,
Alice

p.s. I would just like to add that Bella Swan is THE single worst female character in any book I have ever read, period. She is an insult to women everywhere. Her narrative goes something like this, and in only slightly exaggerated (okay, okay, pretty exaggerated) Meyer-esque language. SWOON, OMG, it's a hunky dude with SMOLDERING eyes! Look at how he SMOLDERS! Look how his eyes change color and SMOLDER! Swoon, omg, I would DIE for him! Wow this is mysterious, he, like, can move really fast and is like a VAMPIRE. He wants to suck my blood but he won't because he likes the way I smell! Okay, I'm sold, I want to live forever with him! Whiiiiine, why can't I live forever with him? This is so UNFAIR. Oh, oops, I'm also a ditz. OH LOOK HE SAVED ME! Swoon. Oh but wait there's this werewolf dude who's kind of awesome too. Oh NO the vampire ABANDONED me. My life is OVER. WHAT WILL I DO? Oh NO. My life is so hard.
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Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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Kate FYI, book 3 is even worse. I am so angry, but NEED to find book 4 ASAP.

At least book 2 introduces Jacob, who is vaguely worthwhile, or at least much more likeable than any of the other characters.


Alice Kate wrote: "FYI, book 3 is even worse. I am so angry, but NEED to find book 4 ASAP.

At least book 2 introduces Jacob, who is vaguely worthwhile, or at least much more likeable than any of the other characters."


Hahahahaha. No, you can stop! It IS possible! I promised I would stop after Book 2, and indeed I did! And I am happy! :-D




Brooke Ah, I love reading hate reviews for books I also dislike...:D


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