Richard Stephenson's Reviews > The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
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Dec 14, 2011

liked it
Read in December, 2011

I liked it.

This book can probably be a great help for the more traumatic verbally abusive relationships. Even regular old relationships could use it as a warning. Worth a run-through if you're interested in deepening your partnership.

I did have a few qualms though: (even though the author was upfront about it) the constant use of the husband/man as the abuser kind of wore me down by the end of the book. Also, her build-up and research is good, but her prescription is horrid... telling ANYONE who's heated to "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!" or anything along those lines is not going to be pretty... especially in the extreme cases.

Read it for the awareness. Be cautious about the handling advice.
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04/27 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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message 1: by Josh (new) - added it

Josh E A very helpful review. :) I find that while this was written in 2011, I think many people are trying to use the power of Emotional Intelligence or mindfulness for misguided reasons (i.e - Control, Greed). Sticking within what research, build up, and awareness of what the signs are points to an inner truth or value that the person may have for themselves, projected upon the world. And who says any "one" person has it down pat? Through our own individual traits that we use to express ourselves and to allow us to live good lives, we may become the abuser, whether subtle or more overt. To understand the root of how it takes place and using it to transform it through consistently reminding yourself and the other person of their own loving presence is the "best" way to go about it, imo.


message 2: by Linda (new) - added it

Linda It goes even deeper than that Josh - Feminism has come a long way from the days when men defined women as unworthy of higher education, unworthy of having the vote, unqualified to be a priest in their chosen religion, unworthy of equal pay for equal work. This attitude has permeated our culture and men unconsciously position their female partners as subservient. All the subtle undermining comes from that place. When the couples therapist comes from a place that the fault is 50/50, the underlying problem will never be resolved. That's why it doesn't work.


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