k8inorbit's Reviews > Lover Awakened

Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward
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's review
Jun 11, 2008

did not like it
bookshelves: romance, thesisreading
Read in January, 2007

** spoiler alert ** Oh. My. God.

I'm not even sure I can convey the complete absurdity of this book. Any description I try to make is typically interrupted by my own peals of laughter at the general ridiculousness and/or groans of immense pain.

The hero, Zsadist-- yes, he is actually named that-- is a self-proclaimed misogynist. (Yayz!) Profoundly psychologically damaged after several years of torture, abuse and slavery at the hands of an evil female vampire, he spends most of his time moping about, feeling angry, and hating his gignormous penis for causing all this trouble. He likes to beat himself to get off, but then he hates himself for getting off. Then he falls in love with Bella and moans a lot about his evil sperm, how dirty he is, and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, our heroine stands placidly by (of course), feels compelled to love him despite his faults (of course), and gradually tames the beast within-- after several rounds of rather rough sex (of course). We also get some lovely flashbacks to Zsadist being tortured and abused (of course).

Seriously, this reads like the worst of fan fiction AUs brought together. The other male leads have names like Vishous, Phury and Rhage and this is not supposed to be take as comedy and/or irony??? Also, the soliloquies where Zsadist is hating on his penis are pretty amazing.

Also, the universe! ZOMG, it is so freaking complicated. Vampires! Vampire slayers! Vampire protectors! Vampire drug addicts! Seriously, there are guide books sold to help readers understand this universe! Clearly, this is the romance industry's version of Anne Rice and Laurel K. Hamilton. Clearly it has been very successful as a crossover money maker. But really, really: W.O.W.
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03/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-14 of 14) (14 new)

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k8inorbit heh. thanks! glad you liked it. :)

message 2: by Kate (new) - rated it 1 star

Kate I'm with Katrina, your review totally sums up how ludicrous the book was. I'd forgotten about the penis-hating, you've got me snickering all over again.

Kim (magicsandwiches) Lawyer Because this book is number one on the tortured/disfigured character list, I decided to read a few of the reviews. Yours made me laugh so hard. Just wanted to tell you. Oh, and even though I wouldn't have read the book anyway, your review only confirmed my decision.

Danae Armstrong OMG!!!! Ur review really helped. I was gonna read this until I read ur review. Which totally made me laugh out loud! "Evil sperm!!" Rollin on the floor.

Juicy Fruit Come on people, it's not like one reads this books because it's a literary masterpiece. I mean, sure, for the most part it's ridiculous, but it is not like you can compare the Laurell K. Hamilton novels to this.
Honestly, if in a series there is a book where the sole plot consists of people continuously having sex, day and night, just because the "heroine" has some wacky power/curse/whatever aquired from somebody or just because she is a fairy princess, then it's not much better than this.
And Anne Rice is not much better imo.

Esther This is a really funny review! your insight is most helping. Personally I like the book so far, but it's kinda boring.

Caffenero That's the right mood for this kind of book! Very nice review :) It make me think to give one more star due the funny side of this book!

Esther Francophilex wrote: "I couldn't agree more. And you know what else bugged me? Butch. Where does a cop get money to buy Gucci loafers? And do none of these women have jobs? How is it that they can just go chill at ..."

hahah! your comments are valid but keep in mind the reason the girls don't go out is because fitz buys everything. remember how is their doggren (or whatever). Butch doesn't need money(at least none of his own) he uses the brotherhoods money. Idk why they let him though. I also laughed when all the guys got boners. hehehe!heheheh! The extras H are a riot.

Katie Mcsweeney Perfect review... I was utterly let down by the book!

message 10: by Mell (new) - rated it 1 star

Mell Yeah, these books conform to the romantic cliche that these savage (yet sensitive- they cry!) men just need good women to tame them- though the taming will not, in any way, compromise their virile masculinity! I guess this tired plot line fulfills fantasies, because these books are wicked popular. I promised a friend I'd read all and then discuss with her . . . sigh.

message 11: by Halah (new) - rated it 1 star

Halah Ahmad You forget about the crying the weeping , and all the tears they shed ... just OH MY GOD !

Nenia *the flagrant liberal* Campbell Yeah, the penis-hating is kinda like... wow. Almost as bad as seeing combat boots referred to as shitkickers. I was looking forward to this book because Zsadist was such an intriguing character, too...

Tracey I agree the names are silly, but once you accept the silly names I found the book fab. I love non reality though. Each to there own.

message 14: by Rin (new) - rated it 5 stars

Rin Personally, I loved the book. But...your review was amazingly great :) It brought a smile to my face.

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