*To everyone who finds this novel lovely: your opinion is respected here as long as you are respectful. That should go without saying.*
Once upon a time, in a golden wood disguised as a beige and brown apartment complex in the snowy fortress of Rochester, New York, a girl on the brink of her 21st year by the code name Ghirardelli decided that diving into the mind of another author was a good idea. A very good idea. A hopefully life-changing dream that would propel her to drive her own mind’s work.But then
In short, her experience happened in three stages: Denial, Questioning, then
Murderous Rampage, depicted below.
“This will get better. Most certainly, I mean, those trailers were adorable!”
“Why is this happening? LEAKING WOMB?”
“WHAT?! Are you kidding me? HOW?!”
Maggie Stiefvater’s Shiver
did not completely destroy Ghirardelli’s sanity of course, for such thrillers like Hush, Hush
had already filled that void. Where Fitzpatrick and Adornetto stumbled and fell into their own gook-like feces upon broadening their mind’s eye, Stiefvater was able to create a significant atmosphere on occasion, but these times were seldom.Shiver
tells the tale of a female organism, Grace, falling for a canis lupus
, or gray wolf, named Sam. This yellow-eyed wolfy-poo was hers and her alone. It saved her after all, from its own pack that decided that eating a human would be as enjoyable as hunting for livestock. It was a new challenge, but never explained as necessary or for the chortles. However, my dear readers, as enticing as this mythological tale sounds, soon as Ghirardelli turned to the first page, all of Hades’ Underworld came with such nonsense, bovine feces would surely be flung.
Ghirardelli was heartbroken to have such distaste for this story and its need to expand beyond the binding of one novel. She rather enjoyed the trailers, as cute and amateurish (simply the camera work, everything else was precious) as they were, for they spoke out to her inner animator. She was nearly in tears when the story refused to be as simple and eye-catching as the trailer made it seem. She felt that Stiefvater tried far too hard to impress the world with her style.And so begins Part One of the Deconstruction of Shiver
Ghirardelli did not have much experience with purple prose. She probably wrote it when she was younger and not very experienced, as what happens with writers who aren’t too keen on how to actually write. Though the violet prose of this tale is severely evident, it’s strange to say that there were indeed several moments where Ghirardelli was quite fond of the writing. Of course, phrases like “golden wood” and “her wolf” were used far too often to bear and Ghirardelli was forced to gag at the sight of them. As well as the repetition of attempted poetic feel, such gems were found through Ghirardelli’s reading.
This moment in time was Sam’s break time between his homeschooling studies. As you can see, this is was Stiefvater thinks a boy through puberty does in his spare time.
"I surfed for photos of circus freaks and synonyms for
the word intercourse and for answers to why staring at the
stars in the evening tore my heart with longing.
Yes, little Daniel, Ghirardelli had the same countenance. She, too, wondered why this boy found that sounding like a “Twihard Twi-mom” was good for him. This is a huge fuckin’ problem
thought Ghirardelli, who was desperate to keep reading in hopes of a better storyline. Both characters sound the same! They should be sounding like teenagers, but they sound like angsty old women who write crap poetry. It just makes me cringe!Part Two of the Deconstruction of Shiver
As Ghirardelli tried to dive deeper into the flat world of Mercy Falls, she found more and more troubles with the characters, particular the ones under the spotlight: Grace and Sam. Both were near identical in speech, and where Sam was against himself and almost too emotional to function, Grace fell between the lines of obsessed, ridiculous, and selfish.
“Her wolf” is all Grace ever talks about the first third of this novel that and the fact that her darling pup had yellow eyes. Because dear readers, nothing says, “Remember this!” like bashing brains in with the knowledge of Sam’s eye color. And Ghirardelli started to lose herself right then and there. Her eyes squinted, her head started to ache, but the words never left.
Ghirardelli realized that the parental units in this novel were negligible. However, when they were
around, they were portrayed as parents who didn’t care.
“THEY DON’T CARE?!” shouted Ghirardelli in hysteria. “HOW. HOW DO THEY NOT CARE ABOUT A STRAIGHT A KID
. THEY’RE NOT ABUSIVE OR ALCOHOLIC SO WHAT GIVES?”
I do believe Ghirardelli settled down after that, for there were a few nice developmental scenes with our main characters, though Sam seemed to show more connections to Mrs. Grace’s mother than Grace herself. It was a mystery even to her.
All around, the supporting cast of this story filled with angst and wolves were eye-catching. Rachel was fun, Olivia had a good head on her shoulders, Isabel was caring and determined to help her brother, and even Mrs. Grace’s mother was a lovely minor star. Of course, Ghirardelli was sad to see them around for just a short amount of the story.Part Three of the Deconstruction of Shiver
Ghirardelli desperately tried to find some word to perfect describe the plot that Shiver
had, and all she could come up with was DULL
. She found nothing interesting about a candy store adventure or even cuddling up for some tentacle monster movie. She wanted plot to happen, SEE it happen, more than just conversations on Jack and Shelby.
On a minor note here, Ghirardelli did enjoy the twist on werewolf mythology, but as these stories go, the remainder of the myth seems to die in the twist. Ghirardelli enjoys the original stuff; she wishes that it was added back into the change of weather.
But Ghirardelli was hurt further, for when the plot finally arrived, she was appalled. It reeked of Twilight structure, and only existed in the book’s end.
There was a moment that jerked her heart, for it centered around Isabel and her brother, but then the last moments of the book came to a close, and fury grew inside our protagonist. Her final words on the matter were:(view spoiler)[Inducing a fever with BRAIN-DESTROYING bacterial meningitis can’t do shit for you, especially when you leave it untreated. It most certainly won’t save the human body from a wolf form because you’ll be dead before you ever get to hear the good news. Now tell me how Sam survived that? OH WAIT WE WILL NEVER KNOW. Fuck all. (hide spoiler)]
The remainder of the tale seemed to wrap up completely. As Ghirardelli’s cohort, Cory, had stated on her review, Stiefvater clearly was not planning to forge a trilogy out of these bumbling characters. But she did somehow, and that makes our dear protagonist ever so forlorn, not to mention slightly out of it for having the need to finish the series and review the other two books.
Ghirardelli once believed in Maggie’s creative talents. It showed in her book trailers, and little miss chocolate almost bought Scorpio Races. But she is relieved that she didn’t pick it up, for it may have the same effect that Shiver did.Epilogue
was not pleased.
She fears that she may never be pleased by Stiefvater, but her bar is set, and she will see if Linger
brings her what Shiver