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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
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Quotes Serena Liked

Douglas Adams
“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die."
"Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried.
"What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round.
"No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
tags: 42

Douglas Adams
“One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
Ford: We're safe.
Arthur: Oh good.
Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Ford!" he said, "there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was."
"No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.

"Is there any tea on this spaceship?" he asked.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“and we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere … and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood...”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphood was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water!”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."
(Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“It is most gratifying," it said, "that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated, and so we would like to assure you that the guided missiles currently converging with your ship are part of a special service we extend to all of our most enthusiastic clients, and the fully armed nuclear warheads are of course merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future lives ... thank you.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“I don’t know what I’m looking for.”
“What not?”
“Because … because … I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn’t be able to look for them.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Sorry, did I say something wrong?" said Marvin, dragging himself on regardless. "Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“How do you feel?" he asked him.
"Like a military academy," said Arthur. "Bits of me keep on passing out.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Here, for whatever reason, is the world. And here it stays. With me on it.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Zaphod marched quickly down the passageway, nervous as hell, but trying to hide it by striding purposefully.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams
“Wow,' said Zaphod Beeblebrox to the Heart of Gold. There wasn't much else he could say.
He said it again because he knew it would annoy the press. 'Wow.'
The crowd turned their faces back toward him expectantly. He winked at Trillian, who raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes at him. She knew what he was about to say and thought him a terrible show-off.
'That is really amazing.' he said. 'That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it.'
A marvelous presidential quote, absolutely true to form. The crowd laughed appreciativley, the newsman gleefully punched buttons on their Sub-Etha News-Matics and the President grinned.

As he grinned his heart screamed unbearably and he fingered the small Paralyso-Matic bomb that nestled quietly in his pocket.

Finally he could bear it no more. He lifted his heads up to the sky, let out a wild whoop in major thirds, threw the bomb to the ground and ran forward through the sea of suddenly frozen beaming smiles.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
tags: humor

Douglas Adams
“Was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking Zaphod, he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomability into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


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