Bonnie's Reviews > Agnes and the Hitman

Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie
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's review
Nov 14, 15

it was amazing
bookshelves: chick-lit, funny-ha-ha, full-of-wonderful, adult, romance-contemporary, 2011
Recommended to Bonnie by: Marie
Read from November 28 to 30, 2011

The Storyline
Agnes is not your normal chick-lit heroine. The fact that she’s known as ‘Cranky Agnes’ could give you an idea. The fact that she’s used a frying pan in more ways than just cooking (I’ll give you a hint, one guy now has a metal plate in his head) could also give you another idea. There’s also an incident with a meat fork but I won’t spoil the fun for you. Or maybe it’s the mental conversations she has with her therapist.

”Fuck you,” Agnes said, bent over the edge of the cake.
Angry language, Agnes.
Fuck you, too, Dr. Garvin.

I think it’s a combination of everything, actually.

Agnes leads a quiet, simple, life as a food writer engaged to a quiet, simple man named Taylor. Her quiet, simple life takes a sharp 180° the day that she’s held at gunpoint for her dog. Yes, she’s held at gunpoint because they’re trying to steal her dog. Her life is soon thrown into even more upheaval when a hitman, Shane, is sent to protect her. People keep coming after Agnes, trying to steal her dog, trying to kill her, but who’s sending them? What follows is a rollercoaster ride that’s entirely way too much fun.

"Somebody might be coming to the house who might be dangerous."
"Really?" Agnes said. "Because that almost never happens here. With advance notice. Should I get my frying pan?"

Final Thoughts
Agnes is going down as one of my favorite book characters of all time, definitely. She’s a single girl, who loves to cook for her friends, she’s preparing to hold a wedding at her house, and she’s a food writer… I mean, at face value she’s just a normal girl. Agnes cannot be taken at face value and that’s what I loved most, the fact that I was completely surprised at how crazy and lovable she was all at the same time.

This book was downright hilarious, was extremely enjoyable, the characters were all amazing (I especially loved Shane), and… why exactly have I never read anything by this author before? Will definitely be correcting this, pronto.
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Reading Progress

25.0% ""Agnes, it's an air conditioner, not a kidney.""
49.0% "'She was going to look like a flamingo in that thing. A hooker flamingo.'"
62.0% ""Somebody might be coming to the house who might be dangerous." "Really?" Agnes said. "Because that almost never happens here. With advance notice. Should I get my frying pan?""
94.0% "'And Palmer looked like death, or at least hung-over to the point of death, staring off into the distance with that If I Don't Move, My Head Won't Fall off look in his eyes.' lol" 11 comments
99.0% ""You stole my life, you damn Yankee." "You're from fucking New Jersey!""
03/17 marked as: read

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