Dan Schwent's Reviews > Seven Seagulls for a Single Nipple

Seven Seagulls for a Single Nipple by Troy Chambers
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Nov 28, 2011

really liked it
bookshelves: bizarro, 2011
Read on November 26, 2011

A nipple named Wilmorn falls in love with a woman and bargains with the Seagull gods for a chance to win her. Only she's a nun. And a lesbian. And he has to kill her true love to win a soul so he can have a life with her. Man, things are rough for nipples these days...

First off, this is the weirdest book in the 2011-2012 New Bizarro Author Series so far. It's also the best story featuring a talking nipple I've ever read.

This is one of those books I can hardly think of a way to describe beyond the summary. Like I mentioned, Wilmorn is a talking nipple that makes a pact with the Seagull Gods. His naivete is actually a little charming and nicely balanced by Stalin, the baby-faced lobster demon who was a serial rapist in a previous life. Yes, you read that right. No, I did not make that up.

It takes quite a bit for a book to make me shake my head in disbelief but I caught myself doing just that several times during this books slim 60 pages. Most of those were because of Stalin's actions. The ending was a bit of surprise.

Troy Chambers is a madman and I'll give him another shot sometime down the road. That's all I have. I don't really know what else I can say about this.
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Comments (showing 1-9 of 9) (9 new)

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message 1: by Mark (new)

Mark It's also the best story featuring a talking nipple I've ever read.

????????


message 2: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Mark wrote: "It's also the best story featuring a talking nipple I've ever read.

????????"


As soon as I wrote that, someone emailed me about a different novel they read featuring a talking nipple.


message 3: by Mark (new)

Mark wouldn't you credit it; like buses, You wait for years for a book about a talking nipple and then two come along at the same time


message 4: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Mark wrote: "wouldn't you credit it; like buses, You wait for years for a book about a talking nipple and then two come along at the same time"

The other one sounds like it was a big deal in Canada:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/78...


message 5: by K.D. (new)

K.D. Absolutely Nice title! :)


message 6: by Brandon (new)

Brandon Bizarro books sound so awesome. I really have to get a good chunk of these at some point.


message 7: by Kate (new) - added it

Kate Hi Dan! I don't want to read your awesome review until I've read the book myself, but I did want to make a comment and say this is the most hilarious NBAS cover yet! Looking forward to reading the story.


message 8: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Kate wrote: "Hi Dan! I don't want to read your awesome review until I've read the book myself, but I did want to make a comment and say this is the most hilarious NBAS cover yet! Looking forward to reading the ..."

This one is so crazy I'm taking a Bizarro break for a while.


message 9: by Kate (new) - added it

Kate Dan wrote: "This one is so crazy I'm taking a Bizarro break for a while."

LOL...I will keep that in mind when considering where to place this on my 2012 reading schedule.


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