Adam's Reviews > The Hotel Riviera

The Hotel Riviera by Elizabeth Adler
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Nov 15, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: audiobooks-a-z
Read from November 08 to 15, 2011

Post Listen Review: I wish Elizabeth Adler would knock it off. This book is about poor little rich people in the French countryside (who can afford to live in the French countryside) that are so miserable because they don't have love in their lives. God this is getting old. If you want to hear about how that one percent we keep hearing about live, listen to this book. And if you want to be brainwashed into thinking that all women really need in their lives is a good man, listen to this book. If you want to hear about fast cars, expensive motorcycles and boats, listen to this book. If you want to be incredibly bored and horrified at the message this book gives to women, read this book. I hated this book. Let me tell you why.

First off, the woman, Lola Laforet owns a freaking hotel in France. She is not struggling. But she was dumb enough to marry this guy who sleeps around on her all the time. So she is soooo sad. Then the moron disappears and she is confused and sad. She supposedly tries to look for him but it doesn't seem to me like she tries that hard. And she is sad. Then it is assumed that he is murdered and that she might be the suspect. She is confused and sad. Then she sees a naked guy. She is not sad. The naked guy is with some chick but that doesn't really seem to bug Lola much. She looks at the woman and thinks,"he could spread her with butter and jam and she'd be perfect for his breakfast." That was the most unappealing combination of sex and breakfast I have ever heard.

Next, Lola has a pet hen. Why? Because the hen deserves her love more than her unfaithful husband (who might be dead but MORE importantly sleeps around) and sleeps in her bed. In her bed? A hen?? Man that is a lot of chicken crap to clean up in the mornings.

But she is so sad she listens to Barry White albums alone. Because the gorgeous French countryside is too damn depressing I guess.

Lola constantly says she doesn't belive in love buy she pines away that her no good, philandering, probably dead husband doesn't love her. She pines away that she doesn't have kids. She pines away over newlyweds. Yeah this is someone who doesn't believe in love right?

The manly dude who owns a sailboat and was the naked jam or whatever smells lavender, beeswax, a mix of other flowers and jasmine but in the next sentence it says he DOESN'T KNOW about FLOWERS. Anyone else see a glaring contradiction here? I do know nothing about flowers and I really could not tell you what jasmine smells like. The manly dude also compares Lola's eyes to Bambi. Cause tough sailor guys love to sit around and watch Bambi.

All of Lola's good memories she can think of only when she looks at crap she bought. Not pictures of friends and family, not the scent of mother's home cooking, no, the clothes and crap she bought. And in case you didn't think she was materialistic enough, she in her mind, defends Marie Antoinette, convinced that is was a misquote about eating cake. Even if it was a misquote, Marie Antoinette was anything but sympathetic to the tons of poor people around her, just like Lola.

Also, the bad guys in this are always people who started life poor but then became rich. So I guess being poor at birth makes you evil. What a wonderful stereotype to reinforce.

The husband who might be dead (or worse had an affair, yes Lola thinks it is worse for someone to sleep around than be DEAD) turns out not to be dead and in the end stops his lover from killing Lola but he dies in the process. This convinces Lola that the guy truly loved her. Let me tell you something. Trying to keep someone from getting murdered is just common courtesy, it is not love. And besides, she doesn't believe in love remember?

The least believable scene to me in this whole book is when the hen is murdered. Ok so the dead (but not really) husband's girlfriend kills the stupid hen, named Scramble (brilliantly lame name). Then the naked guy finds Lola crying over the stupid hen and he comforts her and thinks to himself how vulnerable she is or something. I guarantee you that is not what he was thinking. What he was thinking was, thank god that chicken is dead so next time we have sex in her bed I will not be rolling in chicken crap.

Chicken crap, that's a good way to describe this book. So for anyone who loves chicken crap, give them this to read.

Pre-listen guess: Oh boy, here we go. Another crap fest of strangers with smoldering eyes in landscapes none of us can afford to visit. I will be shocked if I think this deserves any stars at all.
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Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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Célia Loureiro That's what I was afraid of since the first time I read the synopsis... and that is also what I thought when I read the first 46 pages last night. The Riviera seems lovely and warm, specially under the starlight, and that scumbag husband of hers just left her! Shouldn't she be in heaven? I would. And if she's 39... well I'm 22 and I like to think of myself as less vulnerable and imature than her.


message 2: by Adam (new) - rated it 1 star

Adam I can't imagine that anyone who is an adult could be more immature than the woman in this book. So I am sure you are not as vulnerable and immature as she was. She was so irritating.


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