I wasn't sure that I wanted to read this book. I didn't love The Year of Magical Thinking, Didion's account of her husband's death while their daughter lies comatose, and didn't really want to put myself through the retelling of her daughter's death. After reading Blue Nights I feel like I have a new appreciation for The Year of Magical Thinking, I feel like I get it a little better now.

In Blue Nights, Didion talks about the loss of her daughter but she also talks about her life, her work, her life as a mother, and her own aging. There are moments of heartbreak where Didion goes through her daughter's old journals and poetry and wonders if there was something she missed, where she talks about how much she still needs her daughter, especially as she gets older herself. There are other moments where Didion talks about her writing, parties, life in the 70's, all somewhat unrelated to her daughter, and at first I was annoyed but then I realized that these side stories were a necessary break for both the reader and the writer. Who could keep writing page after page of pain and heartache? Who could keep reading pages like that?

In my review of The Year of Magical Thinking I said that something about the book just didn't hit the right emotional chord with me but now I think I get it. I think Didion did the same thing in TYOMT as she did in Blue Nights, she peppered the book with things other than raw grief out of necessity, out of self preservation.

In TYOMT the letters J-O-H-N in Didion's name and the title of the book are written in a different color, John is Didion's husband's name. In this book the N and O are a different color-that alone broke my heart.